The Jade West theory
by ScottyBgood
Summary: It's near the end of her junior year, and Jade starts a new job. This job, however, reveals one of her secrets. Just how long can she keep this secret from her friends, and how will they react to finding out she is just a bit different. Rated t to be safe.
1. Chapter 1

Jade was still fuming as she made her way onto the Caltech campus. The California institute of Technology, where her father had found her a job to continue their "agreement", had lousy parking for visitors. Hopefully she would get an assigned parking space, and with luck it would be somewhere nice. She had fought this tooth and nail until her mother had betrayed her trust by agreeing with her father that this job was just too good to pass up. Working at Caltech had so much potential.

She was early despite not wanting to be here. She felt like this was a risk. She was going to be an actress, or a writer, or a director, producer, or possibly all of the above. This job was better than her shifts at that diner she has been working for the last year. Junior year was ending, and she was not looking forward to the longer summer shifts with the ogling and pinching not to mention the police reports that would follow. She didn't need to be arrested again, having barely got off the last time. She hated the diner, but that job had helped her pay for her car, her clothes, and the various expensive things her friends liked to do. 'God how did they afford that lifestyle? Andre at least had a part time job.' Jade thought. Money was was more than good, it was necessary.

Jade stopped at a coffee kiosk to get directions and a large coffee.

"Your here. Listen carefully and don't talk back. I need to run a couple of errands so hold down the fort. I should be back before the next big rush." With that, the barista took off. Jade was pissed. When the barista got back, he was going to get an earful.

Jade wanted to just take off, but if she was working on this campus then she felt it best not to drive the coffee kiosk out of business. There would be time to abuse this loser later. So she was left there, to sell coffee to the students and lose herself in her thoughts. She qui8ckly ran through the various methods she would use to make this barista pay, but her mind wanted to be somewhere else, thinking about her family. She thought about her mother, and how it had been her mothers dream to make it in Hollywood. However, being marginally talented and willing to believe too much her mother had only secured bit parts before her father conceived her. He claimed for years that jade was the product of one of the castings her mother had gone to, a partially justified claim that Jade only admitted under duress. Two paternity tests later and they were a family, but the second test was with improved technology so Jade was old enough to be offended when they read the results. Her relationship with her father was never great, since by the time he believed she was his their pattern was set. Her father was there, but seemed to resent her. Her parents divorced when jade was 10, and jade still does not know if her father cares.

Jade was absorbed in her less than happy memories when, twenty minutes after leaving, the barista returned. "Why haven't you put on your apron?"

"And who do you think I am?" Jade asked while sending him a death glare.

"Y-your the new girl, right? I heard you telling someone on the phone you didn't want to work here." He was gaining confidence from his perceived roll. "Well, if you don't work, you don't get paid. Your attitude..."

"I don't work here!" she cut him off. She growled the next part "I was asking directions, you Butt-cheek. I work in the Physics department." turning to the growing crowd "Can anyone show me to the physics department." she re-filled her large coffee, put in two sugars, and walked off

She heard him say"You have to pay for that"

"Severance pay" she said as she flipped him off. Two boys (men?) offered to show her the way.

Five minutes later, she was outside the Physics chairs office. "so your a secretary? This a student job?" one of the boys asked. She ignored him.

"I have an appointment with Dr. Gablehauser" she said to the receptionist.

Before the receptionist could respond, the door opened and Dr. Gablehauser walked out. "Dr. West, I'm so glad you decided to come and join my faculty. Did you have trouble finding the place?" Jade just looked at him, her expression blank. "I was just going to check and see if you were lost."

"I just got caught in the line for coffee. The barista is a moron."

"Right.. Come with me and I will show you to your office." He led her, and the boys who seemed to need to follow along, up a floor and down a hall to a string of rooms. He stopped at the door marked 'Dr. Jadelyn West, PhD.' Dr. Gablehauser continued "As agreed you have a one cup coffeemaker as well as an assortment of coffee's at your disposal. A computer has been placed in your office for your research. You can reach it online, and it will be a place you can use to maintain connection to your coworkers since many of your documents may be too big for email. Also, it's more secure" He was smiling at the last part.

Jade looked around her new office. Placed next to a couple of labs, it was a glorified closet with no windows, a desk, two bookcases, her coffeemaker and computer, a little space on the other side of the desk for if she needed to meet with people, two whiteboards and some markers.

"Dr. West, I am beyond pleased to have you on the team. Now you know, in return for you being allowed to work mostly on line, you will be expected to help proofread some of the other research. That is right up your ally, right. The university has needed a good peer reviewer for a long time. But as a reminder, we will need more detailed comments then the 'check your math' you wrote for your Modern Physics journal critique of Dr. Coopers article on the magnetic frequencies variance in quantum attraction."

"Wait, What? Are you... Is she really a physics professor?" one of the boys stammered.

"Associate professor. Tenure has to be earned, even for someone as talented as Dr. West. But she does have both her masters in mathematics and her PhD in Theoretical Physics from UCLA. But the best part is She seems to be able to run complex equations in her head at a remarkable speed. She will save months of computer time as well as tons of money for the University." Dr. Gablehauser smiled.

"You told him why?" Jade didn't need to be reminded she was a freaky weirdo.

"Let it go, Dr. West. I feel like bragging just a bit. Two associate professors who got their PhD's at 16 is something to advertise. It helps the department. Why do you think I was so keen to get you." Jade didn't look please. "So let me show you around, meet some of your peers. Also, we will be having a little get together so you can meet your coworkers, say Saturday? Does that interfere with your schedule?"

"Just the Prom. Excuse me, 'Prome'. Wasn't planning on going."

"Excellent. It will give us a chance to officially announce your presence. We want your talents, your research, and your ability to express yourself. You write, yes? I hope this will be a win-win partnership" Dr. Gablehauser started to show her around.

Jade almost smiled. They were giving her the ability to have a life while working there. They had no idea how easy it was for jade to run the formula's, but that talent made jade very frustrated at her own work. The math just didn't always add up, and she was determined to find the way it did. So this job may be a gigantic pain in the ass, but it had it's perks. She was content to attend Hollywood Arts while doing her research and auditioning for the roll that would break her out of this nerd gig and let her shine. It would cut into her fun time just a smidgen, but the research for her other degrees had interfered as well and she worked around them. She could adjust.

The big perk was beyond the medical and dental. $90,000 per year was tempting, even if she would only get a little of it until she was 18. The family had scraped by long enough, with the two rent-to-own houses her dad's boss had gotten them (divorced, living separately) as well as other expenses, the family had been needing her to cover as much of her own expenses as possible. Despite helping out so her brother could avoid this chiz, paying down her student loans and having her father ration out her remaining funds, she would still have more money than she had had in her life. Plus in 14 months, she would be free and clear. Her debts would be paid (Thank you affordable California schools), she would be 18, and her life would be her own. Even helping out, she could afford a place for her and Beck. Jade smiled at that thought.

Jade was also thrilled that she made more raw income than her father. Her dad's boss helped them find discounts on everything, his business being partially finding such deals and reselling at market prices, and that had helped the family live above their income. But it would give her something to keep her dad off her back, since she would be earning so much money. She would finally be worth something in his eyes.

She smiled. It would not be that bad, as long as the nerds didn't infect her, she could survive. Unless her friends found out what her new job was. Jade was good at keeping secrets, but still she had to be careful. She had to be on campus for office hours even though she didn't teach classes. (she might teach one for extra cash, but she would cross that bridge when she came to it). They could never know. They must never find out what a freak she was. Even Beck, who thought he knew all her secrets didn't know about her PhD. That would ruin her image. But a summer job would probably go unnoticed.

And she could torment that annoying Dr. cooper.

:}

Not sure I got the attitude right. Not sure when I will write again. This story has potential, but I am VERY laze. Still, I will see how it goes. While I have no idea where this might go, just be warned, I ship Jori.


	2. Chapter 2: Meeting the Faculty

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

It's time to meet the Big bang theory characters. They will show up from time to time. I just want to establish Jades initial opinion of them.

:}

Jade was disappointed that most of her department was busy doing their own research when she was shown around. Now she was on display at the departmental moral booster party and community builder. Jade had no problem being the center of attention, and usually was. It was being displayed that worried her. Here she was being displayed like the freely weirdo that she was. Jade would rather be appreciated for her acting abilities, where she controlled what people saw and how they reacted. This party was taxing her acting abilities.

The last couple of days had been difficult for Jade, with everyone she knew at Hollywood Arts saying they would have to come visit her on the job. She could tell they were hoping it involved an embarrassing uniform, possibly in pink. Rex of course said he hoped it was sexy, but all the boys thought it. Jade forbade them coming to her place of work but denied she had to wear any uniform. She didn't like the look in Robbie's eyes when he heard that. It was just too much to explain, and jade was certain they would never let her live it down. Still, compared to this party so far, avoiding the subject with her friends had been fun.

Dr. Gablehauser introduced her to yet another colorless coworker (Or donor, alumni, or perhaps on of the board.) Jade was cordial but distant. Most people accepted that from a child prodigy. Jade just could not seem to make herself care.

Jade had learned at UCLA that her bursts of anger had not worked the way they did at Hollywood Arts. She could not just be feared as an unpredictable volcano waiting to explode at the first person who looked at her funny. Instead she had learned to use her immaturity in other ways to keep people away. Respect was as important as fear, but lacked its power. Jade had decided she needed to be more diplomatic, in her own unique way. She was still a ticking time bomb, but one who could be worked with. Jade did have both an interest in the field as well as the ability to work with others as long as they respected her boundaries. Jade would not be friendly, per say, but she would also contain her anger as much as possible. In all, she would be the same person as always, just a little more restrained. She would use other weapons to keep people away. Revenge would be slow and calculated, and only where "needed".

Somehow Jade was able to keep conversation up without really talking to these people. She got what she needed, name and what was expected from each of them, and then was happy to move on. She was quietly making a list of who should die in a horror movie, and in what order, but her mind kept slipping to less pleasant thoughts. Dr. Gablehauser was completely oblivious.

Jade worried that keeping this secret from her friends would be more difficult than anticipated. She would have to tone down her anger at work, making her somewhat more frustrated and thus even less predictable at school. Missing the Prome also had it's own consequences beyond something fun to do with Beck. She had told them a family obligation prevented her from going, but most of her friends would not ask if she just skipped the Prome. They knew how she felt. They might, however, start to suspect something if she continued to miss being seen at social events. Jade had over a year at Hollywood Arts left, and had no intention of being relegated to Sinjin's group of loser nerds. While there were a lot of people, including her friends, who would notice, three of her friends would present a problem going forward. Cat, Tori and Beck were the ones most likely to figure out something was different, that something didn't add up about her job.

Jade realized she had forgotten to talk for a second, "Oh, right. I was telling a story" she said as she launched into a meaningless vignette about some of her research back at UCLA. She could do that story without using her brain, and these people just could not seem to tell the difference.

Cat: Normally Cat was the least worrisome, being so childlike and acting like a ditz. Still, she was one of Jades few close female friends, and the synthetic redhead could be very observant when she chose to. Cat could figure thing out from the smallest of clues, so Jade had to be sure she didn't leave any. Cat would normally be worried that Jade couldn't hang out, being the type to worry about her friends. Of course Jade had her own special relationship with cat, and could usually intimidate the girl into doing what Jade wanted. Jade would use Cats caring nature against her, distracting her when necessary.

Jade was getting tired of these people, of talking and sounding excited (not that she did, being bored is it's own weapon). She needed to talk to some of the faculty, preferably younger than the tenured staff slowly fossilizing in their guaranteed positions. Someone who could distract her from her own distractions, thinking about her current situation. Like Vega.

Vega, or Tori Vega (Jade made a point of using her last name when referring to her, usually) was a different problem. Their kinda friendship had been growing closer lately, and Vega had this desire to help that often backfired on them. It was infuriating that things always worked out for Vega, but the fact that the half-Latina would try to help was what worried Jade the most. Tori would stick her nose in Jade business sooner or later, and find the perfect piece of blackmail information to try and modify her behavior. Vega was vengeful at times, Jade had experienced it. So Jade would just distance and distract Vega until the pest's inevitable fame took up most of her time. It sickened Jade, knowing Tori Vega was going to make it first, but since the Platinum Music Awards, the world was just waiting for the singer to release her first album and become a star. Jade could manage until then. After, her envy would keep her warm and motivate her to become a bigger star.

Dr. Gablehauser was chatting with another big donor, and Jade was given a few minutes to recover and think of how boring this event had been so far. About 60% of the people at this party, by far the majority of who she had talked to, were people she was being showed off to. Donors and Board members who looked at her like a freaky commodity, a sideshow freak that they intended to make them some money. Jade had to get her thoughts straight soon, since the only people left to meet were the Physics department personnel. They were so anti-Beck. Uncool and nerdy.

Ah Beck. Beck was another matter. Their relationship had not been what it once had been. Despite his efforts to get along with her since they got back together, they still had a lot of problems. Jade would not admit her reasons for being with perfect, familiar Beck, so she had no idea why the passion was gone. Worse, he had not wanted to go to the Prome without her, justifiably since every girl at the school would jump at the chance to try and flirt with him. The risk, however, that Beck would want to come to her Family event had been enough for her to manipulate them into having him help out at the Prome. He would notice, but it gave her time to get past this party. Jade had decided that it would be better if he was at the Prome. It was risky, putting him so close to Vega, whom everyone loved, but Jade kind of trusted Vega not to abuse the relationship. She didn't know why, but she trusted Vega not to make a move on her man. Jake worried that Beck would leave her for sure once he found out she was keeping things from him. Jade had lied to him about so much, pretending he had been told all her secrets. She was weird enough without this whole physics PhD thing mucking up the waters. Imagine how he would feel if he found out about the 5 other languages she spoke fluently. Once he knew she was keeping things from him, it would be a matter of time before he realized her biggest secret. She shuddered at that thought.

Jade looked up from her musings to see the meat of this party heading her way. Several faculty and research scientists were heading her way, along with what looked like their significant others. 'Dam, science groupies are hotter than I thought'. She knew of three of them. Dr. Cooper, since she had written a peer review of his work, Dr. Koothrappali, who's research had been profiled in Time Magazine, and Dr. Hofstedter, sine she had a great deal of respect for applied Physicists and his work. Jade stepped forward to great the main player in this little drama. "Dr. Cooper. Nice to actually meet you." she put on her most predatory smile. No sense going easy on him, since he was the top dog at this little show. "So did you find your errors?"

"I'll have you know, Missy, that there were no math errors in that article." Dr cooper seemed to miss the implications of jade's smile. He was, however, riled up by her opening statement. Jade was going to enjoy this, eviscerating Dr. Cooper verbally with every little error he had made, but didn't get the chance as one of the men quickly spoke up.

"Dr. West, so nice to make your acquaintance. I'm Dr. Lenard Hofstadter, but you can call me Lenard. These are my friends. You already know Dr. Cooper," He pointed to each of his friends as he introduced them "This is Dr. Koothrappali, an astrophysicist, and Howard Walowitz, and engineer who went to MIT." The groupie next to him coughed. "Oh yea, this is Penny, my girlfriend." The tall (But shorter than her) blond held out her hand, and jade just stared. Jades smile was replaced by a glare that most of Hollywood arts had learned, and feared.

"Charmed" she said in a voice that left no doubt about her opinion of them.

"This is my Wife, Dr. Bernadette Rostenkowski-Wolowitz" Howard said, Gesturing. Bernadette waved and said "hi" then her husband continued. "As you might remember, I went into space. You know, everyone's dream."

"Want to go back? I think I can arrange that" Jade's glare never changed.

"That was rude" the short blond woman said. Jade's glare shifted to her, and she shrank back behind her husband.

"DR. Amy Farrah Fowler" said the frumpy woman. "and I...Oh my, your an Alpha." She beamed.

"A what?" Penny asked

"An Alpha. The top monkey in a pack. She is joining a new troupe and is establishing her dominance. Notice the look she's giving us that warns us she is going to rip off the face of the first challenger she sees?"

"I thought that was gas." Sheldon was looking at Amy

"That's why I don't let you near the monkeys. I wonder what her preferred method of enforcing her dominance is"

"So you don't talk much" Jade noted to Raj.

"He has social anxieties, so it's hard for him to talk to women" Howard said

"So far that makes you my favorite" Jade said to Raj. "Unless you start talking, then we will have to reevaluate."

"Oh, I get it. She's a high functioning sociopath" Sheldon said as if he was having a revelation. Jade looked ready to get blood on her scissors.

"He didn't mean that" Penny added quickly, then changed the subject. "so what are your hobbies?"

"I love horror films, scissors, collecting...things, and my creative outlets. I write, act, direct, etc. Oh, and I also sing."

"Oh, I'm an actress. Maybe I can help you out, give you some pointers"

"I'm sure you can, except maybe you cant. Who the Chiz do you think you are. I attend to a school for the talented and have been training for years." Jade looked through Penny "I've been in two professional short films and written and directed one professional play. I've dozens of other credits to my name. What have you done?". Penny put on her biggest fake smile and just held her words. She looked hurt. Jade's job was done. She got a text message and decided to make her exit.

"I look forward to working with you, since you guys mostly know what boobs are and won't be freaked out that I have them. Later losers."

Penny whispered "I hate her already" as jade went to mingle.

Jade was smiling as she walked away. She didn't hate them all, just a couple of them. Howard kept looking at her tits, but she was used to that from guys. She could work with Lenard without him bother her too much, but his groupie could be a problem. Wannabee actresses were a pain. She felt that with minimal contact they would be tolerable. Things were looking up. Sheldon Cooper was her biggest dislike, if only she feared she would become like him. She was reading her Text messages when she met Dr. Kripke. Within seconds, revenge was on her mind.

:}

We will get more from Hollywood Arts next time. Also, expect swearing in the future. I hope I am close on the BBT characters personality. Bernadette in particular will be a little afraid of jade, sine she was bullied in school. As for Dr. Kripke, I see him as a bit of a manipulative jerk who is quickly on jades bad side. Next time, what were those Text's.


	3. Chapter 3: Jades school life

It was Sunday and Jade was till thinking about revenge. Dr. Kripke probably didn't realize that he came across as a misogynistic jerk, telling her how surprised he was that a girl as attractive as her could be a physics Doctorate. He had also implied that she had the name of a stripper. It probably was not intentional, but it still wazzed her off. Dr. Cooper was a self-centered gank who could not conceive that he was wrong about anything, but at least he treated Jade the same as he treated anyone else. Jade would teach him to respect her work later, especially if she could get a shock collar in his size. She was sure he would change the batteries on schedule if she asked nicely. Now Dr. Kripke, she had heard, was a practical joker. She needed to teach him not to mess with her immediately to avoid any future problems. No one messes with Jade Augusta West, PhD. And soon they would all know.

She was deep in her planning when she heard the distinctive sound of breaking glass telling her she was getting a call. Caller ID told her it was Dr. Gablehauser. 'Oh my chiz, what the fuck does he want now?' jade thought. "Hello, you have reached Dr. Jade West. If you wanted a recording please go jank yourself."

"What? Oh, it's you Dr. West. I was wondering if you could help me. I realized late last night that you are used to a fairly busy schedule, and as such thought maybe you could cover a couple of classes for the Summer Session. A little overload to help out the school?"

"Do I have to?"

"Yes."

"Let me call my dad's boss to go over my contract" Jade said. She knew enough to double-check this kind of claim. People lied to you all the time, especially in the entertainment business.

"What I mean is you do have to teach an occasional course due to your title of Associate Professor. However, we would be compensating you, of course. Put some hours away to use in the future so if you need to take some time off you could just go on sabbatical" He said.

Jade knew how sabbatical worked. Teaching faculty would bank extra classes against sessions where they might not get a full time schedule, since their contracts required them to cover so many units of class per year. Extra overload classes were either paid additional income or banked for taking paid time off. A full time schedules worth could get you a session. Caltech was a quarter school, so that meant three months. Enough time to make a movie and possibly a guest appearance on a TV show. It was tempting. "What do you need me to teach?"

"We have a couple of classes. First is our undergraduate Applied physics class, which is required for all engineering students as well as Physics majors. We had to add a second class for the summer session, and we really need someone who understands the material to teach the class. Since you love acting, you should have no problems speaking in front of a full class."

"When is it scheduled for?" Jade was thinking about it. Making the lives of a room full of desperate nerds miserable appealed to her. She would be the center of attention. The class would probably be a couple of hours each weekday.

"We just added it, so lets say Monday through Friday, 9AM to 11:30AM?"

"And the other Class" Jade wanted to know her options. Hopefully she could still do summer type stuff around this, as well as her research job.

"For a long time we've been hoping to add a graduate Seminar on whats currently happening in Theoretical physics. Unfortunately up until now, the only people who were qualified to teach the class either would never do it or just could not relate to the students. Dr. Cooper was arguably the best choice we had until you joined our team. You understand the material, are good in front of people and the class would be just a couple of hours per week. Lets say Mondays from 2 until 5." Jade did the math.

"That's almost a full time schedule with office hours. Round it up and I'll do both."

"If you agree to do the seminar twice per year going forward and we have a deal. Full time teaching banked for the summer, and 40% per quarter you do the seminar. It's give you time off when you need it providing you let us know in advance." he seemed to give in too easily, but jade was not the negotiator in her family and decided to let it drop. She had no idea how much prestige that seminar would add to the school, or that they would be uploading it on their web sight and showing off to other schools. However, Jade always needed to do things right, almost compulsively. To do it right meant advice, so she decided to talk to Sikowitz.

Jade decided since she had something to do beyond everything else on Monday she should figure out now the strange texts she had been getting since last night congratulating her on her win and letting her know that they "voted for her". Almost all her friends had texted, so no one choice was better than any other. She called Beck.

"Hay babe. Whats up" Beck could be so cheesy sometimes. Jade swore she used to love it.

"What's up with all the strange texts I've been getting? What did I win?" Jade should have dealt with this yesterday, but images of beating the Chiz out of Kripke had distracted her. Revenge and writing both could take her out of her the traps in her thoughts. It was one of the reasons she loved both.

"Oh, that. Nothing big. Just the student body showing their respect and love for such a talented and popular girl. It's really quite an honor, since I don't know if it's ever been done, Still..."

"JUST TELL ME ALREADY! Or do I need to go over there with pliers and drag it out of you." Jade's frustration was fueled by fear. 'Beck used to be fearless. If he's avoiding it, afraid of how I might react, then it has to be bad. Maybe I should have called Cat.'

"You won. Prome Queen. A-and Prome King. Never been done before. Someone had started a roomer that you wanted it and could check the voting to see who didn't vote for you. So naturally it wasn't even close. But it's a good thing, right." Jade growled in response, so Beck continued. "Part of winning are these neat crowns I'll bring by later. Oh, you also get to go to the post Prome dinner with the Prome committee Tuesday night. Were going to some place called the Cheesecake Factory in Pasadena. I heard it's pretty good. Apparently we had some gift cards from that particular location donated to the school, and we would get the most value out of them at that location. It''s not that far. Please come. I promise that if you don't kill anyone tomorrow we will make it worth you while. Please." Beck never begged, well hardly ever.

"Take me out to eat today. Spend some time with me. Maybe I'll forgive the school, if you make it up to me."

"Sure. I can do that, then we can go to Tori's for poker and a little hot-tubing." Jade was less than thrilled by the idea, but let it go as something that was probably planned last night. She could accept being with her friends now. Let them know her working hours for the summer.

Monday came, and Jade found that people kept congratulating her like being Prome Queen or Prome King or Prome whatever was some kind of honor. It just confirmed what she already knew, that she was the most feared person at school. Everyone wanting to be on her good side both wazzed her off and stroked her ego, so she decided to focus on schoolwork and the task at hand. She quickly had the chance to talk to Sikowitz while Lane was there in case she had to explain everything to her favorite teacher. This was the first round of judgment by someone who's opinion mattered to her, and it made her nervous.

"Ah Jade. As the faculty ad visor to the Prome, I'd like to both congratulate you on your wins and thank you for not hurting anyone today. Let's keep it that way all day, shall we? Now what brings you to me so early since you already know the class assignments for the rest of the year and I cant think of any other reason you would need to speak to me?" Lane just nodded along.

"Okay, it's like this. My summer gig has changed to include teaching a couple of classes at Caltech. You might not know this but.."

"Jade, I know all about your advanced degrees. Physics and Mathematics, right. So they want you to teach and you came to your favorite teacher for pointers. Well, I hope you have been observing me these past three years. I was trying to show you how to be a great director as well as teaching you." Sikowitz seemed confident in his answer.

"Of course, if you need practice you could help out tutoring during study hall." lane added. "A little experience will help you see where your week points are."

"Oh, You'll also need to come up with a lesson plan for each class. If it's a standard course, then they may already have one, but they expect you to make the course memorable." Sikowitz added.

"Study hall. Right. Well, I should go and see about tutoring." Jade said. She also texted Dr. Gablehauser requesting the lesson plan for both courses. He got back to let her know that the existing class would have one she could use, and he would have a rough sketch of what was wanted for the graduate seminar in a couple of days. He would email it to her.

A couple of hours later Jade walked into the peer tutoring center at Hollywood Arts. Like all arts schools, they prided themselves on a top notch (or nooch as Sikowitz's would say) academics. Jade looked around for whomever was running the program and found herself looking at Trina Vega.

"What do you want?" Trina was not happy. Jade had never had the need to come in here, so was surprised when she saw that Trina was the senior in charge.

"I need some charity hours so I thought I'd offer my help tutoring the less intelligent. I'm pretty good at hard sciences, math and Physics."

"Really? I don't recall ever seeing your name on the list for any of the science classes here. Are you trying to ruin my record for running the best tutoring period in this schools history? If your serious about helping with those subjects, first let me know how you would know the first thing about them?" Trina was one of the few people dense enough to stand her ground against Jade. The goth just never had reason to make the talentless girl pay. Besides, Jade didn't like to torment losers, they got it enough. She tormented people who were normally immune to that treatment, like Vega, and those who pissed her off since those people probably deserved it.

"My dad didn't trust the classes here, so he made me take them at a community collage. I got the High School credits." True enough, she started at a community collage. "I'm really good at science, so I'd probably be the most help there. Look, Trina, if I don't help them you will know long before they have to take any tests. You know you could do worse. You probably are."

Trina looked jade over, deciding on what to make of this situation. "Okay, since I need a science peer tutor well give you a try. I'll give you a group and see how you do. If your any good, then I'll risk more students futures. Not everyone is as smart and talented as I am" Trina smiled as she pointed to a small circle of students, mostly seniors but including Tori, that seemed to be working hard at something. "Help them. Tori will let me know how you did." was all she said.

"Wonderful" Jade mumbled as she walked over to the group. Eyes tore themselves away from books to look at her. "So I hear you need help with science?" Jade asked. They all said yes, looking at her like this was some kind of trick. Still, She managed to spend the rest of study hall fielding questions and explaining the basics of Chemistry, Physics and similar sciences to Tori and the seniors. She realized if she could last the rest of the year without killing one of these idiots for their lack of basic understanding about how the world worked she would be ready to tackle teaching a class to collage students. It would be a stretch, but she felt she could make it. By lunch she was ready for a break.

Jade found herself cuddled next to Beck at their usual spot. Tori was gushing about how good jade was at that "Science stuff". That term made Jade cringe.

"Its amazing. She just knows how everything works. Also she was able to help us remember that stuff. Even Evan is learning things, and he was deemed unsciencable by Mrs. Rothchild. I mean she really knows this stuff. I never knew anyone outside our science teachers who knew this stuff so well." Tori was gushing. It annoyed Jade.

"one time, My brother tried to build a death ray. It didn't work." Was Cats useful input.

"So Jade, where did you gain your mad science skills?" Andre asked.

"My dad made me take these classes at a community collage. I figured that if I was going to learn this Chiz, I should at least know it by heart. Besides, it's sometimes useful in planning my revenge." Jade reminded herself that Dr. Kripke was still at the top of her list. She had an Idea, but no method to implement it. At the moment, to implement her plan she would need Sinjin's help. The problem with that was getting his assistance without letting her secret out. A little research would help.

She noticed that the conversation had gone on without her, and that Beck felt smaller than he used to. She didn't like it, these feelings of distance she felt. She knew her world would change soon, but wanted to keep as much the same as possible. She held onto Beck like her best days. It felt free from her painful past and not corrupted by the future. Jade wished everything could just stay the was they were earlier this year, before the big breakup. But the world kept on changing. Physics said so. Well fuck the world, Jade had what she needed, and was not going to let go easily. Her Phone beeped, letting her know that Dr. Cooper probably sent her another theoretical equation to run, since he seemed to believe she worked just for him. Maybe she would straighten him out tomorrow during her Office hours. At least that Cheesecake Factory would be convenient. Hell, It might even be fun.

:}

Just a tad longer this time. So the Gang is going to spend a Tuesday Evening at The Cheesecake Factory in Pasadena. Sounds like a fun evening.


	4. Chapter 4: A busy day

Tuesday finally arrived, and Jade had no Idea where the day was going. It felt odd, like today something was going to happen. she even expected things to happen. Today she would sit office hours at Caltech, and use that time to let Dr. Cooper know who she worked for. Specifically, not him. 'If he's lucky, he won't need new underwear.' Jade smirked at the thought. After that would be the janked up Prome committee dinner with her friends plus the other losers who worked on that chiz. She would get to the bottom of this Prome King chiz. She decided she deserved to be Queen, and Beck could be her king, but really? They voted for HER to be King? And was she allowed to bring Beck? And what was she going to do about Dr. Kripke. Okay, she knew what she wanted to do, but securing Sinjin's help would be the hard part. She would look into the details of exactingly what she wanted done before bribing the weird young man. 'Lots to do today'.

By the time she got to school, she found Vega's one and annoyingly older number two waiting for her. Already her day was taking a turn for the weird. "What are you losers looking at." came Jade's traditional greeting.

"We were wondering.." Tori started

"No we weren't. We don't need her help." Trina gruffed.

"Yes we do. Who knows who buys coffee at that shop she works in. Maybe she can help get you in at Caltech." Tori Whisper-yelled

"I don't want to go to Caltech. I wanna go somewhere with a killer Theater Arts program to finish developing my natural talents." Trina whisper-yelled back

Jade walked off in the middle of their argument. Best to not wast time until they figured out what they wanted. Jade knew, however, that while Trina was majorly annoying she wasn't dumb, just delusional. She ran the tutoring during study hall for a reason. Her parents were probably hoping for a tech degree in case her TV career on weird Spanish language shows didn't last. Jade could not fault them. You could only play the attractive (give Trina her dues) girl in a cheese costume for so long. It was a break in part. Trina needed security if she was going to keep taking jobs that a Spanish speaking but retarded monkey could do. Hell, even some of those physics groupies she met at the meet and greet could do it if they spoke Spanish. Jade also knew that the worst part of the Trina Caltech drama was that she was in an excellent position to help, provided she wanted everyone to know what a total nerd loser weirdo she was. Since she didn't like Trina, and only kinda liked Tori, she was safe from feeling the need to intervene. 'I could ask around... NO! Tori not THAT important to ME'. Jade quickly found something else to think about to avoid admitting that while Tori was not her friend, that statement and their growing closeness opened the door for something more.

By the end of study hall, Jade was feeling a little better about her teaching gig. Many faculty at research universities are suckish teachers, and She just needed to be able to lecture and explain things to the hard of thinking. Her tutoring group certainly qualified. Tori was the smartest, only needing help because physics is almost another language to most people. The others listened with a mixture of awe and raw fear. Jade had told them that getting a D or worse equaled a visit from her largest pair of scissors. As a result of the experience, she was gaining a confidence that would help her teaching when promises of physical violence were no longer allowed as part of the motivation process. She was also becoming a popular tutor because she knew her stuff. The day was getting weirder and weirder.

During Sikowitz's class she had one of those moments she had gotten used to but still annoyed her. The way she solved equations or ran the simulations that the other theoretical physicists sent her was to go over them several times until they drifted into the back of her mind. Then, once an answer came up (usually within six to twelve hours depending on the complexity of the simulation and the formula, but sometimes longer if she was distracted of busy) she wrote it down since she could only remember the answer for a couple of hours. The problem was that the formula for Dr. Coopers latest request came up during improve. While it was just a momentary distraction as the answers flooded her conscious mind, it threw her off her performance enough that people noticed.. She hated losing, and her job had just cost her a moment of wowing her class with her acting talents. Jade thought "I'm going to have to work on that. Hate to have that happen in the middle of a play." She also resolved to let Dr. cooper know he needed to look over his work more before sending it to her to review. She made mental notes on the multiple errors, and started typing out a report.

The end of the school day saw Jade racing towards the exit. She wanted to get to work early and pick up some coffee (yes she has a coffee maker in her office, but a fresh cup of designer coffee always felt right. Besides, she wanted the larger cup with the lid.) She tore out of the parking lot and raced to Pasadena like a girl possessed. The drive was only about ten to twelve miles but Jade was never one to dally when she could rush. It was also her first time using her assigned parking space, and needed to cover her name in case the someone she knew wandered by and saw it. A text message from Beck came and she took a moment at a light to see what he wanted. It was just the usual pleasantry. 'Good luck at work. I'll see you tonight at the dinner.' She'd text him back once she was in her office.

Once she found it, Jade's parking place was both good and bad. It was near a different building than she worked in, forcing her to walk across campus to get to her office. The only two pluses were that it was in the faculty part of a parking structure so the car was protected from the weather and the walk went by the Coffee Kiosk. She waited in the short line and ordered her Coffee. "You're paying this time, right?" asked the barista.

"Depends. How much was I owed for the twenty minutes of my life you took, not to mention my not just running off and leaving your business to whomever came by?" Jade was still in a good mood.

"One large. Two if you tell me about yourself. I'm Dave by the way." He was flirting! Jade rolled her eyes. ' As If' she thought, but a little conversation for a large coffee seemed okay, plus it never hurt to be nice to the person making your food. "Jade, and I'm 16 so keep it in your pants, perv." Of course, that was nice for her.

"16. Wow, you're kind of young to be working in the Physics... Oh my god. You're Doctor West?" He managed to not drop anything while pointing.

"Yep. Now that you know more about me so give me my damn coffee. Black, two sugars."

"Okay, to make up for last time, but this is the last free coffee you get." He gave her his serious stare. "God, I should have known. They've been talking about you for two weeks non-stop. It's just... you know... You don't look like one of the" he made air quotes and switched to a pathetic British accent "brightest minds in physics. No offense, just... Well you look so normal." He quickly added.

"What? And how was I supposed to look? Frumpy with glasses and that nerd vibe that sends all the guys running? Maybe I should have been a fat, fugly girl who couldn't get a date so science was my only friend? Get a life, loser." Jade took her coffee and started walking away.

"Sorry!" she heard yelled after her. He came running up. "I'm sorry. I just never expected you to be so hot."

"Still 16." she said, annoyance reverberating across the school, "and I have a boyfriend."

"Okay. I get that. I just...you know...I sell coffee and I think we should be on better terms. Okay? I don't want my bad assumptions costing me a customer. So we cool?"

Jade looked at him. It was good coffee, so she decided to give him a break. "We're cool. Just no hitting on me. I hit back. Hard." she pulled her scissors for emphases.

"Whoa, down girl. I got it. Look, I need to get back to my business. That new girl I was expecting never showed. I'll probably hire someone soon, but that's my problem. Thanks for letting this go." He headed back to the kiosk, and Jade knew her scissors aside he was counting the days until she was 18. Shaking her head she put her scissors away and continued towards her office.

When Jade got to her office there was a woman waiting for her. She vaguely remembered this woman from the meet and greet. Some physics graduate student. The woman was a shorter brunette, attractive Jade supposed, with a determined look on her face. "And you are?" Jade asked.

"Hi, I'm Alex Jensen. I work for Dr. Cooper and he sent me.."

"He has an assistant? You're what, his research assistant? Errand monkey? Do you get his laundry?"

"In theory I'm supposed to go through his older research and see what might have useful ideas. I do also run errands for him occasionally." Alex almost whispered the last part before speaking up. "Now if you're done with that analysis you were doing.."

"He got funding for THAT? How? I mean, I wonder if I can get a monkey to run my errands. I wouldn't need to see your face showing up at my office every time I make his ass wait for results to one those simulations he wants me to run. By the way, let him know that while YOU'RE his monkey, I have other things to do with my time beyond his janked up simulations. You know what? Tell him if he wants the results He can come and get them himself. Now, do you get coffee?" Jade seemed excited.

Alex stood there open mouthed for a few seconds. The girl was rude, aggressive and at times looked like she would hurt people for fun. Processing what Dr. West was saying, she decided retreat was the best option. "I'll go tell him" and she took off before Dr. West got around to seeing if she could steal her from Dr. Cooper. Working for geniuses was less glamorous than she thought it would be.

A couple of minutes later and there was a peculiar knock on the door. Thee sets of three quick knocks with "Dr. West" said after each one. Jade stopped her work (drawing an equation she had been thinking about on the whiteboard) "Come in already!" The door opened and in walked Dr. Cooper along with Dr. Hofstedter.

"Ah Dr. West, have you finished my simulation?" Dr. Cooper asked, surprisingly polite.

"What are you doing here?" Jade asked Dr. Hofstedter.

"It's Lenard, and I just wanted to make sure you were settling in nicely and that you didn't, you know, kill Sheldon. You do kind of have a reputation." His voice sounded neutral to maybe telling a joke. Jade suspected what he was saying was more true than he wanted to believe.

"I only kill those who deserve it sooo, well played... I guess. You can call me Jade." She smiled.

"My simulations?" Sheldon asked (they were now kinda on first name terms)

"Here, I typed the results onto this document on this flash drive. I even marked where the problems are so you can find them easily." The smile was gone.

"Good. Our work here is done. I'll review this and send you the next set in a couple of days."

"Sheldon, Please! Show some manners. We should be helping her feel at home here." He scolded Sheldon. "So how are you finding the place?"

Jade rolled her eyes. "Look Lenard, I see what you're trying to do and I appreciate it, really. It's just, well, I have a life. This is just to make some money. It's not that I don't respect your work, or anyone here's work, even his work. I just don't like.. people."

"That's obvious. Not even the offer of a hot beverage. This girl has no manners." Sheldon complained.

Jade's glare made it clear that violence was a growing possibility. Lenard intervened. "Sheldon, please. Anyway Jade, some of us were going to go to dinner tonight and we were wondering if you would like to join us, if it's okay with your parents that is." Jades glare shifted to Lenard.

"Lenard, she would unbalance the table. We can't just go inviting people willy nilly. If Howard is unavailable doe to marital duties, we contact Stuart. We have a system so chaos.." Sheldon started.

"I have plans tonight, and a boyfriend." Her voice could freeze blood "Maybe some other time, orrr more likely never. Now bye" Jade pushed them out and closed the door. Her next office was going to have a window for her to throw people out of. And an assistant to get her coffee. She sighed at the thought. 'Back to work'. She didn't bother to notice that odd behavior aside, Dr. Cooper 'Sheldon, Jammit' didn't once complain about having to come get the results of the simulation.

The rest of her time went well enough and she managed to see first and thus dodge the Vega sisters as she was heading back to her car. The Vega family seemed to be touring the campus. Jade quickly drove to the restaurant and went in to change in their bathroom. By the time she was done, the others had started showing up. There were twelve of them total including all the gang, Sinjin, Berf, Andre's date, Sikowitz, and both Vega sisters (Tori being in the gang, but Trina wasn't). Beck informed her that Trina was taking the open seat intended for the Prome King. Jade was not amused. As they were shown to their tables, she wondered if things could get worse.

:}

What could possably happen at the Cheesecake Factory in Pasadena, CA on a Tuesday evening. I bet some of you know.

I am having trouble hearing the right voices for most of the Big bang Theory cast. I hope I get it right when I need it.


	5. Chapter 5: What happens at dinner

By the time the whole Prome committee had shown up, Jade was ready to eat, kill, or possibly both. Still, she had to admit that everyone was taking it seriously. Even Sinjin had dressed nicely for this dinner out. She had been waiting for over half an hour and had spent a fair amount of that time in the washroom adjusting her makeup and in general making sure that she looked hot. She needed Beck and Tori to remember why he loved her.

As the Hostess started showing them to their table Jades eyes froze on the table next to theirs. A standard table 4 person table, but those people were Dr. Koothrappali, Dr. Hofstadter, Dr. Cooper, and another she didn't recognize. In her mind she reminded herself.'Their names are Raj, Lenard, and Sheldon. Of course Sheldon needs a nickname like Butt cheek or eraser head. And who is the desperate man at the end. I don't remember seeing him, so he must not be one of the losers from the Physics department.' Jade broke from her thoughts as realization hit her. If they wanted to talk to her, then there would be question from all her friends. Her secret would wind up on The Slap. She averted her eyes and tried to hide among the small crowd of students that made up the Prome committee. It was then that she saw Mr. Howard Wolowitz and his groupie wife, Bernadette at a two person table near the others. 'What the hell are they doing here.' Jade was feeling trapped. She tried to find a seat with her back to her colleagues and hoped to go unnoticed. She was so focused hiding behind her menu and on not being seen that she missed both the subject of the conversation that was occupying the table and the approaching waitress.

"Hello, My name is Penny and I'll be your server today. Who would like to start with drinks?" Jades heart sank. It was the taller of the blond physics groupies. She was surrounded. At least she thought she knew how they all knew each other now. They all ate at the same place. Or they were stalking her. Either way, Jade had to think fast. She needed to get out of there without being noticed. Her eyes darted around for anything that would help her escape.

"Jade!" her eyes shifted to the source of the sound, finding Beck looking at her. "What would you like to drink. I already asked, they don't have peppy cola." She looked around to see everyone at the table looking at her, then locked eyes on Penny.

'It's okay. She's a professional. She won't make a scene' Jade thought as she prepared to ask where the restroom was even though that was one piece of information she knew.

"Oh hi Dr. West." Penny seemed happy. "Are these your friends? It's nice to see you have some people your age to hang out with cuz just hanging out with adults is not healthy. Oh, Is one of them your boyfriend? Which one is it? Is it that one?" pointing at Beck sitting next to Jade. He was frozen for a moment with a mix of confusion and indecision. He quickly grabbed Jade to confirm their relationship and prevent violence. "He's hot. I can see why you like him and I should probably shut up now." Realization on her face. She addressed the table again "So who need water.".

Everyone at the table was now looking at Jade with confused expressions on their face. "Doctor West?" was heard whispered by several people at the table including Andre and Trina. As confusion and quiet conversations overtook the table, another voice was heard.

"So Doctor West, it is you. Normally I wouldn't intrude on another persons gathering but since the door was opened I just wanted to thank you for the quick turnaround on your work running my theoretical simulations. I feel that you should know you are appreciated. I should have my simulations done in a matter of weeks instead of begging for the six months of computer time that would inevitably take years to clear." Sheldon rolled his eyes "So just know despite your lack of etiquette or even basic manors, we appreciate you." Turning to his table "Better Lenard?" Sheldon spoke without registering the look Jade was giving him.

"Much, Sheldon. I'm sure Jade is much happier knowing we Value her contributions to the Physics Department." Lenard seemed to notice the look on her face "Or maybe we just outed her to her friend."

"So whats going on?" Sinjin chimed in.

"Jade is trying to con us into believing her job at Caltech is in the Science department." Trina responded.

"Please, Dr. West, or is it Jade since were all friends here" Sheldon started.

"I wouldn't bet on that" Beck said as Sheldon stood up. Penny moved to intercept him. He seemed oblivious to both Beck's statement and Penny's attempts to stop him as he continued addressing the Prome committee's table.

"Well for your information Doctor West is an Associate Professor and a valued member of the Physics department. I mean really, I know it's hard to believe. She certainly doesn't look it. I remember I got similar skepticism when I got my PhD at 16." Sheldon seemed unfazed by Jade's glare. Howard and Bernadette came over to see what was happening. "Actually Jade, I would be happy to mentor you, since I doubt anyone else can fathom how intimidating for a 16 year old to be a member of the faculty at a respected institution like the California Technical Institute."

Jade's lunge was halted by Beck's firm grip and Andre's quick dive across the table. Sheldon continued. "You seem upset. Let me assure you that your work does have merit. If nothing else I estimate you solve my simulations in about 12% of the time it would take the departmental mainframe to run them, so you're a really big help to to the department. Since your contributions to my research means I'll be able to publish much sooner, your helping the entire field and generations to come. You see how everyone benefits. I must say Dr. Gablehauser got this one right." Sheldon turned to his friends "I know, I was as surprised as anyone."

The Beck and Andre held Jade in place while Tori tried to calm her down and Cat hid behind Robbie. The rest of the people just stared in disbelief. Trina finally spoke. "you expect me to believe that THAT has a PhD?"

"It's true" Sikowitz said.

"Really?" came multiple reply's.

"Yep." Sikowitz said while assessing his options on what to do. Running out of the restaurant was an option, but not before the meal.

At that moment, Lenard decided to risk everything and spoke "Actually Jade is one of the most gifted Physics prodigies of her generation. Probably the most gifted since Doctor Cooper here." Lenard gestured towards Sheldon. His voice was calm. He seemed to want to deescalate the situation.

Bernadette interjected an idea "Why don't you guys give them a tour of the department, show them where she works. They might like that." She smiled.

Jade lunged at her, again held in place by her two male friends. Bernadette retreated behind her husband. "Howard, I never thought I'd be in this kind of situation, but when you married my you agreed you would die to protect me." Penny thought Bernadette might be having high school flashbacks.

"Berne, She just miffed. I'm sure your in no danger, right kids?" Howard found himself looking at a table full of people with sympathetic eyes. He noticed that with the exception of the two fairly athletic young men holding her, no one came within easy reach of Jade.

"You might consider running right now" Beck said.

"Seriously?" Lenard asked

"Berne, I love you but maybe we should leave so I don't have to risk hurting her since she is just..." Jade's eyes froze him in his place.

"Run" Beck sounded more desperate. "Run fast and run far."

"The Wicked Witch of the West specializes in revenge" Rex said, drawing the attention of the scientists to the puppet on Robbie's hand. Rex seemed to notice the ladies. "Hay lady, lose the nerd and get with a real man." He said to Bernadette. "You'll like me once you get to know me." the last par was to all the women and girls present. Somehow this was not calming Jade.

"That puppet is weirding me out" Bernadette said. Howard didn't notice as he was slowly backing into her to stay away from Jade.

"Rex! Behave." Robbie said.

"Rex, shut it or you become part of the street! Jade calm down! EVERYONE JUST MELLOW OUT!" Tori screamed. The dinner was fast becoming a disaster, and they hadn't even ordered their beverages. Tori wanted cheesecake.

Showing his usual timing as well as his ability to read social situations, Sheldon gave his opinion. "I don't see why we need to leave since this is our regular Tuesday night place"

"I don't want to take any chances" Howard said, finally turning and guiding Bernadette away.

"Everyone just calm down." Beck said in a loud, commanding voice. Then he turned to his girlfriend. "Why Jade? Why didn't you want us to know about your, what, doctorate?"

Jade stopped her struggles and addressed her boyfriend "Why do you think. I didn't want you to know what A freak I was. I am not a nerd, a dweeb, or anything like one of Sinjins group. I'm just good with math and physics." She sounded vulnerable.

"Would everyone just calm down." Sikowitz took control. His voice was loud without shouting, commanding in a fashion rarely seen by his own students. It was his directors voice. "Now you, Physics people, we're having an end of project dinner for the Prome committee as well as the winner of the Prome King and Queen. It's a school affair so if we just ignore you for now could you do the same for us?" Lenard, Sheldon and Raj nodded. "Jade, damage done. Plan your revenge later. Lets just have a nice dinner. And no threats or hurting people while we are in Pasadena. Clear?" She rolled her eyes, but agreed for now. "As far as who knows who and how, we can work that out later. Science people, Jade can invite you to attend our end of year performance if you like. Jade, give them all the details. As for my students, ASK Jade before looking for her at Caltech, or asking any questions about her work there. Give her a chance to separate her personal and professional life. Great Coconuts this isn't hard people. For now, just co-exist until we've had dinner." Sikowitz said.

"Okay."Lenard said, understanding as well as feeling a strong desire to do what the homeless looking hippy man wanted. "Guy's, lets give her some space."

"Jade, I'll let you know when I'm available to mentor you" Sheldon said. Jade was too emotionally drained to make another attempt on his life.

"I'm Stuart, bye the way. I own a comic book store." The fourth man at Sheldon's table said.

"We're all happy for you" Andre replied, while Jade still looking like she wanted a lot of people dead.

"At least someone is" he replied. Jade saw how broken he seemed, and decided to take him off the list of people facing possible repercussions. The list was now long, and she knew she had to start soon to fit everyone in.

"So where is your shop?" Robbie asked.

"Why" Tori looked miffed.

"Maybe we could get a nice deal. Some of us like comics" Robbie defended. He looked hurt when Sinjin didn't agree.

"There's a 'My Little Pony' comic, right?" Cat asked. Jade glared. "We'll talk later."

The evening continued under Sikowitz's stated truce. Everyone pretended to let the whole strange encounter go. The Prome committee fell back into uneasy conversations about the Prome, what people were wearing, what people were doing over the summer or anything to avoid mentioning what they learned about Jade that night., It was quickly obvious that multiple subjects around the touchy Goth were being avoided. Sheldon and company ordered their dinner, and only occasionally tried to include Jade in their conversation. Beck was strangely quiet, while Tori worried about what the fallout from this night would bring.

After fuming for a while, Jade sent a text message to Sinjin.

Jade: Sinjin, I need something. How would you like a tour of the entomology department?

Sinjin: I would love it. What do you need?

Jade: I need you to do some hacking to help me get back at someone.

Sinjin: Is it illegal?

Jade: Lenard (Short guy with glasses) does a lot of work with Lasers.

Sinjin: That Illegal?

Jade: It's Justice. If you met the man, you would do it for free.

Sinjin: When.

Jade: Get it done tomorrow if possible and I'll show you around on Thursday around my office hours.

Sinjin: Maybe. Send me the Deets.

Jade: Tell anyone and you know what I am capable of. Now stop texting and try the cheesecake. It's amazing.

Jade was starting to clear her list. This would set the tone for her relationship with the whole department. The only perk to this janked up encounter.

:}

I had a lot of free time this week, and no life meant I could write more. So a bonus chapter. Don't expect more, my work schedule could change. I will try for once a week.

Again, do I have the Big bang characters voices near, or are they OOC?


	6. Chapter 6: Fallout part 1

Jade was less than thrilled to go to school on Wednesday since her carefully guarded secret was now all over The Slap. Despite her implied threats, people had posted about it. She had to face the reality of walking into school with everyone knowing she was different, and not the different of her choosing. Hollywood Arts was a school for the different, the talented kids that might not fit in at other high schools. A little weirdness was to be expected. There were no stigma in being a drama geek in a school full of them. Outcasts were the norm at Hollywood Arts. It was the extreme cases, like Sinjin or Robbie, that drew attention and had a little trouble fitting in. Jade felt she was now one of them, marked by her advanced degrees, A slight gift for languages and an IQ of 182. Jade was outed as a freak among freaks.

The strange part was that being outed as different was hardly the worst part of it. She was brilliant but emotionally scarred. Jade often assumed things based only her past experiences with her sometimes dysfunctional family, as well as her assumptions on how others would react. That was why she was dreading the one on one talk with Beck that was sure to come. He knew she had lied to him, but let it go last night. She didn't know why. He was clearly upset by being kept out of what was now obviously a huge part of her life. Imagining where the questions would go, Jade was sure the conversation would end with her single and all her friends never wanting to speak to her again.

The morning was like moving through tar. She was dragging herself along getting ready for school, her mother having to encourage her on more than one occasion. Jade forced herself along because her mother reminded her that THIS is what she wanted in return for the everything she had done for her father. Jade was only allowed to attend Hollywood Arts because she acquired her doctorate and got a job to please her father. If she didn't go then all that effort, all that alienation would have been for nothing. The school would give her an edge in the entertainment feild, and she could not let this opportunity pass. Also as much as she wanted this, Jade held the fear that not going would let her mother down. Her mother was never intentionally a "Stage mother", but somehow had given the younger Jade the belief that she was her mothers only chance at redemption. The stress Jade was putting herself in was causing thoughts and memories to flood her mind. She survived that year in college with the goal of Hollywood Arts and the opportunities it would bring. She could not give that up, no matter how much she wanted to just slash her wrists today.

Jade controlled her self destructive impulses carefully. Marred skin and scars are a determent in the industry. Her mother had shown her how hard it was to succeed and how any imperfection could work against you. If it didn't add character (like creative Tattoos or concealable piercings), Jade knew she should avoid it. She had avoided cutting in favor of blunt trauma and other damage that didn't leave perminent scars. Maybe she hit a lot of walls before someone got her a heavy punching bag, but the pain helped her stay focused in the darkest days. She used the pain as a form of penance, to pay the empty feelings and buy the right to feel human if only for a while. Intellectual challenges also helped. Writing and the physics and mathematical equations that required her to put in effort before letting her subconscious solve them helped her focus. That was back when the science was a challenge and a joy, before it became a required endeavor. How did doing something she enjoyed lose it's fun by becoming a job? She didn't know.

Jade had spend a fair amount of time last night slamming her heavy bag while wearing minimal padding. For the last three and a half years she had been studying Krav Maga and was getting pretty good. Still, the workout did what she needed. Her fist hurt, her body ached, and she may need another heavy bag soon, but her emotional turmoil was more controlled. Now uncomfortable shoes and a lunch she despises would be enough to keep her emotions in check. She had not noticed how the half an hour spent on her own theories last night had gone by effortlessly and had also brought her some peace. She was too focused on how her problems now seemed to surround her, cutting her off from the world. She felt suffocated, and had needed the pain to buy her some air.

It all seemed to revolve around Beck. Always Beck. Beck had almost become what she needed, despite what she wanted from him. He was the perfect boyfriend. Claiming him was claiming normalcy, proclaiming to the world that Jade West was special in a lovable, normal kind of way. He was the prize that would make everything right. She had just not expected him to be Beck, the soft spoken actor who strives to be pure in his motives and his actions. She had not expected to love him. She had hoped he would pretend to love her, but had not expected him to actually care. Her sense of love was skewed, so he took her by surprise when he loved her for more than her looks and accomplishments. She could not understand that to Beck, being hot, cool, and popular all came naturally. She had no idea that Beck needed a complicated person, someone who challenged him, to feel appreciated. All their banter, that often went to the edge of breakup, was part of the roller coaster that Beck had grown to love. Jade didn't know how much Beck grew or understood after their multi-month breakup because while she knew Beck, she didn't understand his emotion or his point of view. Jade had held onto the fantasy long after the reality he had offered turned out to be something better. She felt the distance between them but didn't understand that it came from within.

Jade had all that running in the back of her mind, just out of conscious awareness, occasional peeking in to keep her fears alive. She made it to school with barely enough time to visit her locker before rushing to her first class. Her day was going along in an unusual sense of panic. Jade knew that she was off, and didn't just know all the answers to whatever was going on in class. Between classes she faced the expected looks and taunting from the under informed. "Jade, you belong with the techno nerds, leave Hollywood Arts for those who age going to be entertainers." was probably the nicest thing said on the subject. Jade wanted to ignore them. She wanted to strike back. There were too many for a focused response, and an unfocused response would just make her look weak. In the end, she endured and focused on getting through the day.

Lunch came, and Beck was waiting for her with those five words she dreaded. "Jade, we need to talk."

"I don't want to talk about it" Jade put up her walls and hoped to avoid the discussion. She put effort into eating her disgusting tasting lunch. 'At least it's healthy.'

"We need to talk about this. Why, why would you keep me out of such a large part of you life? Did you think I would judge you? Jade, I think it's great that you have so much talent. More than I ever dreamed. So why didn't you tell me?" Beck was deturmoned.

"Can we not do this here? I mean, can we do this later, in private?" Jade asked while glancing around their table at their friends. 'His friends' she thought. They were all looking at the power couple.

"Okay, well talk about this later. But you have to promise me we'll talk about this. We can't avoid it. Do you have any idea how big this is?" Beck caught himself getting worked up, and focused on doing this later. "Jade, please talk to me. Later if you like, but don't shut me out." Jade just ignored him and ate her lunch.

After lunch Jade concentrated on getting through the end of the school day. People were still stalking her with their eyes, but already the stigma of being different was being overshadowed by the realization of just how gifted Jade was. Sinjin was a freak, but even as extreme as he was, he had a place in Hollywood Arts. The joy of taking shots at the high and mighty Jade West was quickly fading and slowly it dwindled down to only those who were always hoping to take her down a few. Her lack of a visible response, the outward showing of her controlled emotions and constant plotting, had taken the fun out of tormenting her. As the crowds thinned, the threat of retaliation from the dangerous and unstable Queen of the school grew. By the end of the day, everyone was looking for the next scandal. They wanted a scandal worth spending time on. Jade as a brilliant scientist was just not enough scandal to last more than a day. Throughout the dying murmurs, Jade was totally unaware that they were getting used to the idea. She had no Idea that it would pass so soon, or that in time many of the students would come to admire her intelligence. It was high school, where the more grown up students led the way towards letting it go. Finally by unofficial and uncounted conscientious, the mean girls decided that the fun of Jades degree's was over and that the status quo was re-established. Someone else would do something noteworthy and they would refocus on the fresh and safer target.

Jade, completely lost in her own expectations, hardly noticed that the end of the day brought with it different looks from her classmates. She walked out of school just hoping to make it to her car without breaking down. Her car door was barely closed before she took off out of the parking lot towards an unknown destination. Tears streamed down her face as she drove. She couldn't face Beck. She needed him. He was her anchor, the thing that made her special in a school of the gifted. She needed a sanctuary to think, to find herself. 'I'll call Tori. She's seen me cry, so I don't lose anything. Only, I can't.' Jade thought 'She's part of the problem. I can't let her see me like this or she'll try and fix it. Oh god!' An image of Tori Vega's arms around her flashed in her mind, along with the realization that Tori would be the end of Beck and Jade. Tori had become her shelter from the fears around losing Beck, and so had become a resource Jade could not afford to lose. Tori had become a source of comfort.

Jade found herself at Caltech. She pulled into her parking space and practically ran to her office. Once the door was closed, she broke down and cried. After what felt like forever but was really half and hour, she hear a knock on her door. "GO AWAY!"

"Doctor West? Jade? Are you all right?" it was Lenard.

'First names means possibly friends. Refer to him as Dr. Hofstadter.' Jade chastised herself. "Go away, leave me alone." Her voice wasn't as loud. 'Men hate anger, it scares them and they don't know what to do. I control them with my anger. Tears confuse them but give them hope. I can't let them see me as week.'

"Jade, are you crying? Listen, I don't know much about you, but then again you don't know much about me either. We may be more alike than you think. Why don't you tell me whats going on and maybe I can help." Lenard was persistent. Jade had no intention of being seen as week in front of her peers, so she had no idea why she opened the door.

"How can you help? You have no Idea what I'm going through right now."

"You're right. I wasn't popular back in high school. I had my share of bullies making my life miserable. Now I date a reformed bully." Lenard smiled at the thought of Penny.

"God! Did you have to throw that in. I saw your groupie. You scored well. Congratulations. My life sucks..." Jade was angry, but it had stopped the tears. Still, she was for some reason not tearing his head off.

"I get that. It could be worse. My mother wrote a book about how needy I was, and I've never been good enough for her. My mother never lets me forget that my brother and sister are both far more successful than I am and are involved with far more accomplished people." Lenard opened up to Jade.

"Don't tell me she's the Bitch who wrote 'Needy Baby, Greedy Baby?' Does she know how much damage she caused with that book? Half the therapists in LA owe their practice to her, and not in a good way." Jade almost laughed, lost in her dislike of someone who made tiger moms look like cuddlers.

"It's a best selling book based on her research." Lenard could not believe he was defending his mothers work.

"No offense, but your mother sounds like an unemotional gank who has no idea what feelings are for. My father may hate me, he may be cold and judgmental, but even he will admit when I do something spectacular. Like your work on super solids. Without someone like you constantly pushing us forwards, Sheldon and I could say anything we wanted and pretend to be relevant. I cannot believe your mother hasn't been bragging about your work across both seaboards?" Jade was enjoying this talk.

"Non taken. You really like my work?" Lenard was flattered. They talked about it for what felt like a couple of minutes but was more like an hour until the conversation was halted by the sound of glass breaking. She never realized how infrequently she had been able to just talk about physics since she got her PhD, or how much she missed it.

"I got a text." Jade explained.

Beck: Where are you? We need to talk.

"My boyfriend." Jade held up the phone. "Look, Lenard. I'm enjoying the talk. Can we finish this some other time?" Jade smiled as she texted Beck.

Jade: I went to work to finish something. Can we talk later?

"Sure. And remember, all of us had our problems growing up. You may not realize it, but you probably had the least traumatic youth of us all. Of course, I could also be totally wrong." He chuckled "I'll give you my address in case you ever want to drop by. Just call first. Oh, Sheldon's my roommate, and he doesn't adapt well to change, so maybe we should warn him." Lenard felt he had made progress as he handed her his card.

Jade, however, had stiffened at the thought that her life was less traumatic. A memory almost surfaced, but jade forced it down. Her shields up once more but wanting to build on the conversation, Jade responded in her normal fashion. "Got it, just drop by whenever." her phone sounded her unique ring-tone again., twice quickly in succession.

Beck: We need to talk this through.

Sinjin: It's done. Everything is as you wanted as stated in your email from last night. I won't question where you got your information.

"I gotta handle this. And Lenard, thanks." Jade needed to be able to talk with people who understood physics, or her other scientific interests, more often. She closed the door and sent her replies.

Jade: (to Beck) I'll meet you at your place in an hour.

Jade: (to Sinjin) Thanks. My office hours are from as soon as I get there after school to six, sometimes seven. I'll show you around.

Jade: (To Tori) Meet me at becks in an hour. Be there and maybe I'll help Trina at Caltech.

Beck: Okay. See you then. Love you.

Tori: Okay, you gonna tell me why?

Jade (To Tori) NO.

Jade's emotions were all over the place. She had made a connection with one of her coworkers. Sinjin had completed his task so in the next week or so she would have her revenge on Doctor Kripke. Things were looking up. On the other hand, the conversation with Beck was looming and she felt the need to have Vega there just in case. Jade was too close to the edge, and could crack at the wrong time. Even if Beck could handle her advanced degrees and her job, he would never be able to handle her darkest secret. Just today, she was open and vulnerable. In anger came her power, but it also brought her weakness. She knew she should not have invited Tori, but for some reason she felt safer with the Latina there. She also felt like she owed Tori an explanation.

She needed to handle this.


	7. Chapter 7: Fallout part 2

Jade knocked on the door of Becks RV. She had waited for Tori to show up and then had the Latina accompany her into Beck's trailer. "Whats she doing here?" was his imediate response.

"I invited her. I need her here so I don't lose it. You two are the only ones who've seen me cry." Jade admitted, voice weaker than she liked..

Beck looked Jade straight in the eye. "Really? Jade, you brought her here so you could have an excuse not to talk to me?"

"I don't want to be in the middle of this so I'll just go" Tori said.

"And give her an excuse not to talk to me? No Tori, you stay and try to stay out of this." Turning to Jade. "Jade, I need to tell you how much this hurts me. Not just the secret. I do care about your Doctorate, but only because it's such a big part of your life and you kept me out of it. It makes me feel like you don't trust me. Did you ever love me? I wonder sometimes. I know you can be a little crazy, but you told me so much about your past. I know why you hate dolphins and how you love bunnies. I know you desperately want your fathers approval but refuse to give in to his demands about your life. Well most of his demands. The question is what's real? How can I trust that anything you told me is real?" Beck was hurt, and he was directing all the pain at Jade.

"Beck, I did love you. I mean I do love you. It's just.. I mean.. I know I'm a bit weirder than most, and hard to get along with but... I mean...God this is so janked up, so fucking hard. Beck you just don't understand." Jade sounded so unsure of herself, she was fighting back the tears..

Beck wasn't finished. "Of course I wouldn't understand. You never gave me a chance. It was always so many tests. Was I never good enough? You were always threatening to break up with me or leaping to the most bizarre conclusions. Damn it jade, you don't even see it. I had hoped Tori was here as your excuse to avoid talking. It worse than that, isn't it. She's here because you trust her more than you trust me."

"Beck..." Jade was crying now. Tori sat on Becks couch unsure what to do. She wanted to hold Jade, but felt that she needed to stay out of this fight. Beck was pacing back and forth as Jade sat on his bed. The tension was thick. Jade looked at Beck and started shaking. She then got up and ran towards the door, but he blocked her exit.

"No Jade. Talk to me. Why is this so hard. Damn it Jade, why won't you TRUST ME!" Beck was angrier than Tori had ever seen him, trying to control his hurt. Jade shrank back, and Tori couldn't take it any more.

"Dude!" Tori said to Beck while grabbed Jade, hugging her as she guided the distraught goth back to the couch. "This is not helping."

"Then you get her to understand. It's not a relationship if she keeps the big things from me."

"It's okay Jade, you don't have to tell us anything. We love you just the same." Tori was making circles in Jade back with her thumb.

"So you admit it?" Beck said softly, feeling agitated. His own insecurities about Jade love for him kept him talking, so he missed Jade's whispered confession. Tori almost did, but hugging the goth let her hear.

It was barley a sound. "I was raped."

Beck realized he was getting distracted by his jealousy of Tori's relationship with his girlfriend. He decided to calm himself before talking. He needed to be calm to make her hear him. He felt she needed to hear his hurt to know how desperately he wanted to be included in her life.

By the time Beck had calmed down, Jades crying had reached the point of hysteria. Tori kept holding the goth and saying calming things to her. Beck wanted to talk, not drive his girlfriend this far. As he sat, shaking from the anger and loss he was feeling, he noticed the look on Tori's face. "What?" was his first response. Tori ignored him and kept whispering "it's all right. You're safe here" over and over again to the broken girl. Slowly the image ate through all Becks frustration and realization hit. Tori was not reacting to Beck anymore. She was focused on Jade, who was focused somewhere else. Jade must have said something and he missed it. Guilt began to surface, but he pushed past to try and comfort his girlfriend. "Oh god, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it to go this far. Jade, I'm sorry. Talk to me." His voice was soft, comforting. Panic started to push into his voice. He had seen Jade upset, crying over all kinds of problems in the past, but not in her most traumatic confessions had he ever seen her hysterical. This was huge. And Tori knew.

"What did she tell you?' he asked. Tori ignored him as she continued to Hold Jade. Tori didn't even spare him an angry look. After ten minutes of effort, Jade finally started to calm down. Exhaustion was overtaking her. She was fading. Soon Jade would be asleep. Just before she passed out, Tori asked "Can I tell Beck?" Jade nodded yes as she let go and fell into a nap. They let her sleep for now, recovering from the emotion of the ordeal. The memories that she had tried to suppress for the last two days had drained her strength.

When Jade woke up it was dark outside. She felt week and her hands still shook. She forced herself to sit up and saw Tori and Beck watching her. "How long was I gone?"

Tori answered first. "A while. It's after 8pm, so I think we should be getting you home. Are you Okay to drive?" Sympathy poured out of Tori like some kind of misused drug. It's supposed to make you feel better, but too mush makes you feel sick. Despite that, Jade was grateful.

"So who did it?" Beck was not so gentile. "I know you probably don't want to talk about it, but Jade I want you to know it makes no difference. I still love you. I just need to know that whomever did this is rotting in jail."

"He's not. I was too ashamed to tell anyone." Jade focused on the hurt, telling the story before she lost it again. "It was my fault. I followed the rules, didn't ride with strangers, but I had seen this guy around campus and he asked me to show him where the Deans house was.. My mom was late picking me up as usual and I thought since it was on campus it was safe. He must have known where he was going because he pulled me off the path behind a shed and raped me. He kept telling me how lucky I was that I got to lose my virginity to a man like him and that he could not believe I was still a virgin. I WAS TWELVE! I LOOKED TWELVE!" Jade started crying again. She toughed it out and continued. "I couldn't tell my parents. My dad had told me that this was my chance to help the family. I couldn't blow it. Hollywood Arts was just a year away. All I had to do was just continue until I transferred to UCLA. It was so hard. I was sure that every guy was going to try and rape me. I was sure he was going to rape me again." Jade was crying again, Tori holding her while Beck paced back and forth.

"You never reported it? My god Jade. What if he raped some other girl? You should have..." Beck was cut off by Tori's voice.

"LEAVE HER ALONE!" Tori looked at Beck with hard eyes. "over half the rapes in this country go unreported, and those that do are often uphill battles. She was twelve and scared and damn it Beck he obviously had done it before so leave her alone. It's been four years. She's been caring this for four years." Tori held Jade like she was afraid she was going to lose her.

"Sorry. It's just the thought of someone like that walking around. I just want to find him and make him pay." Becks anger was back, but aimed in a more constructive direction. "Jade, I'm so sorry. I had no idea this was part of why you hid stuff. I understand how hard it must have been for you to tell us. You didn't have to. I'm so sorry"

"It's not like telling you would have kept it from happening. You were such a good thing, making me feel loved and appreciated despite being the gank you had to deal with. You gave me space when I asked and loved me for being me. Beck, I cannot tell you enough how mush you meant to me when we started dating. Also, I was pretty ashamed of the whole 182 IQ physics prodigy thing. You have to admit that's kinda janked." Jade could not explain it. The pain she had held onto was still there, but it didn't own her the way it used to. These two people had excepted her despite her past. Jade was starting to feel a little better.

"Any other secrets you wanna share? We're here for you." Tori said

"I speak English, Spanish, Russian, Mandarin, Arabic, and Sioux fluently. I speak a bit of French, Italian, German, Hindi, and ASL." Jade looked meek as she talked. "Oh, and I'm belted in Krav Maga. It helped me feel safer."

"Wow." Beck was seeing all of Jade for the first time, and he was beginning to feel a little intimidated. Despite her multiple talents, he had always felt like he was her equal. She wrote plays, but his work was almost as good. He was a better actor, but she could do so many voices and do them so well. She was the better singer but he was by far the better dancer. They had always been equals. Now he was seeing that she had something he had no immediate equivalence to, her intelligence. It was very intimidating for a man to be with someone that accomplished.

"Wow is right. My god Jade, when do you sleep?" Tori asked.

"I made time. It helped me deal with the whole raped thing. Also, I'm fairly good with languages." Jade smiled.

"I'm just glad you trusted us enough to tell us. My god, I'm here for you Jade but... I just need to digest everything." Beck was trying. "So what did you do at work?"

"Cry. My office was the one place I knew no one would look. I just needed to be alone. Didn't work." Jade was definitely feeling better. She was better able to handle the pain, and the memories were no longer weighting her down as much.

"Why not" Tori asked.

"Lenard, Dr. Hofstadter, heard the crying and checked on me. We talked. It was nice to just talk shop about the whole Physics stuff. His work is brilliant, but no one give him credit. Applied physics is often thankless work." Jade was looking happy at the memory, for a moment staring off into space.

"I'll bet" Beck said. Tori just nodded.

"Also, he pointed out how Janked up many of my colleagues childhoods were. His mother is the gank who wrote 'needy baby, greedy baby' so you know he had it as bad as I did, possibly worse. You know, if you ignore the whole rape thing... Anyway, he said that several of them had tough childhoods. I don't know, somehow talking to him made me feel better. It also made me realize I couldn't hold this chiz in forever. Anyway, you should meet them. I mean properly." Jade perked up at the last statement.

"I could do that" Beck said.

"When?" Tori asked.

"Beck, why don't you drop by my office tomorrow during my office hours. After school but before six. I'll introduce you around. I'm already showing Sinjin, so it's be no extra fuss. Tori, I want them to meet Beck first, but as soon as there's a chance, I'll introduce the rest of you. Okay?"

"Okay." they both said. Tori continued. "Why are you showing Sinjin around?"

"I needed a favor, and he came through for me." Jade said, studying Becks roof.

"A favor, huh? And what kind of favor?" Beck looked skeptical.

"Jealous?" Jade asked. Tori rolled her eyes.

"No, it's just that you rarely need help, and usually bully what you need out of Sinjin. Whatever did you need that required this level of bribe?" Beck asked, dreading the answer.

"One of my colleagues needed to learn that I, what did the annoying puppet say, 'specialize in revenge.' I needed Sinjin's help because I may be gifted, but I'm no hacker." Jade smirked.

"And how illegal is this?" Tori asked.

"I don't want to implicate either of you, so maybe I should just go home now. Tori, do you need a lift?" Jade avoided the question and both her friends let her.

"Actually babe, you look tired. Are you sure your safe to drive?" Jade nodded yes. "Then maybe I'll take Tori home if it's all right with you. I don't want you doing the extra driving after all you confessed today." Beck was up to something. He kissed Jade on the cheek and asked Tori if she was ready to go.

As Jade watched them head to his car, she wondered what he was up to. Again she felt like she was losing him, and Tori was part of it. She couldn't even be angry, since she invited the girl. Jade felt that she would not have made it through this evening without the Latina, so if she loses Beck to her Jade would just have to accept it was her own fault. Then she would make Tori's life a living hell. Jade was not the most understanding person. She drove home feeling worried but not as burdened as she had been. She knew she could trust Tori, but Beck was up to something. Tomorrow was going to be a long day.

:}

It's amazing how much better you feel after letting something that's owned you for years out. It's one way therapy helps.

I like Beck, but sometimes he is caught between being too noble for his own good and being a teen.

Don't get used to this. I just wrote a long chapter that made more sense as two chapters.


	8. Chapter 8: A day at Caltech

Thursday morning came and Jade was in an uncharacteristically good mood. She ignored the stares of her peers at school, not noticing that they held more admiration than scorn. She knew why she felt so strong. Just being able to admit what happened for the first time was a load of her shoulders and not being judged was beyond relief. Despite her many issues, Jade was sure her feet were not touching the ground. The day seemed to fly by, and during lunch she seemed less cranky than normal. (She has an image). She texted Sinjin.

Jade: (To Sinjin): I'm sending you a map of where to park.

Sinjin: I don't have a car. Can I bring Burf, since he can use his brother's car?

Jade: I'll drive you. Don't touch anything unless told otherwise. That includes inside my car and especially ME!

Jade turned to Beck. "So you coming today?"

"I wouldn't miss it for the world. I need to finish some stuff here so I'll be there by four. That Okay?"

She sighed "I guess. I gotta drive Sinjin so that leaves me babysitting until you get there." An evil smirk spread across her face. The table got nervous. "Or I can have Sheldon's monkey do it. I'll see what I can do." She looked happy in that dangerous way of hers.

By the end of the day people were reacting the way Jade expected, barely hidden fear. She had heard the rumors, that she was building some kind of death ray, dooms day device or other method to killing off every person who ever annoyed her (A long list). Even Sinjin was unfailingly careful in not touching anything in her car for the entire twenty minute drive. He did send a mass text.

Sinjin: (To everyone) In Jades car, she is driving unusually cautiously. I think it's in the trunk.

Jade heard her phone go off, letting her know she should never have given Sinjin her phone number. Still, it was necessary to achieve her first bit of revenge. Jade really wanted to see the results of his work, and wondered if she should call the Pasadena police this weekend and ask about him. The thoughts were making her feel warm.

After 20 minutes Sinjin was starting to get antsy, needing to do something to release the stress of being with Jade. Once she parked, he ran out of the car and only stopped to check out the map and see where they were supposed to go. As a result he was waiting by her office for a while. Jade stopped to get coffee along the way.

Dave the Barista greeted her as she reached the front of the line. The wait was usually shorter this time of day, so she got to the front in only a couple of minutes. "Ah Doctor West. Beautiful day today. You want the extra large, right?" His eyes covered her body quickly before catching her own.

"Black, two sugars. Make it four considering the size of that coffee." She responded. He told her the price and she paid him. "Oh Dave, don't be such a perv next time. My eyes are up here." She walked away. Jade was in no hurry today.

Once she got to her office she found Sinjin sitting by the door. "Let me introduce you around so I can get to work and you won't need to see the inside of my office." She led him towards the nicer offices on the second floor. A quick knock and she entered the office labeled Doctor Sheldon Cooper.

Sheldon wasn't alone. As luck would have it Lenard was there acting as a referee since Doctor Kripke was screaming at Sheldon.

"Damn you Shewdon, Don't you dawe deny it. I know you did it. I know you'we jeawous of how advanced my weseawch is, but this is a new wow even for you. My little pwanks were hawmwess embawwassment. Youws... Because of youw wittwe wuse I've been wefused entwance to my wocaw stwip cwub. The one with the fwee buffet. Aww because I 'make the giwls uncomfowtabwe'." Kripke was red faced and the anger seemed to poor out of his body. "I never made the stwippews uncomfowtable befowe. How do I make them uncomfowtabwe? I pay to look at their bweasts, maybe get a wap dance, just like everybody else. Teww me how that make stwippews uncomfowtabwe." He asked Lenard.

"Not only do I have no idea what you are talking about, I have far too much work to spend time mucking about in that sort of place. Now if you'll excuse me I need to get back to my research." Sheldon looked confused in his condescending sort of way. Lenard just tried to stand between them, and Alex was looking at the potential fight nervously.

"So whats happening nerd?" Jade asked, smile on her face.

"Barry, Doctor Kripke, is accusing Sheldon of getting him banned from his favorite strip club. We were at a long lunch with a friend and got back twenty minutes ago. He just started yelling at us as soon as we got here. I can tell you, however, that Sheldon wouldn't know how to get someone banned from that kind of place." Lenard answered.

"Putting him on the Sex offenders list shouldn't get him banned from strip clubs." Sinjin said, confused. "Not even as a convicted rapist."

"Howd it. Did you say wapist?" Barry asked, suddenly confused.

"It shouldn't. I checked. He was just going to have to spend his weekend making the walk of shame under escort." Jade replied. She could not get angry at Sinjin for telling, since knowing who did it to you was part of the revenge.

"You did this to me?" He asked shocked. "I'm not a wapist. Why? Why wouwd you teww people I was a wapist." Barry was looking at Jade.

"You treated me like one of your strippers at the party last week and keep looking at me like you have a chance. Dude, I'm sixteen, I have a boyfriend, get over yourself. Don't act like a perv, and I won't treat you like one." Jade was enjoying this. Not as much fun as watching him tell everyone in his neighborhood that he was a perv, but it was probably better since they still had to work together. "I deliberately had it done so you were not put on the state or national databases, which is harder by the way. It should be easy to get off the list, just tell them it was a mistake and have them confirm it. I still don't get why they barred you from perv heaven though?"

"Local ordinance requires the list of sex offenders to be delivered to all the local strip clubs." Sheldon said. Looking at everyone, he answered the unasked question. "Howard told me."

"Just you wait young wady. I wiww get my wevenge,. My wwath wiww be swift and mewciwess." Doctor Kripke screamed.

"Wouldn't do that" Jade said. "I went easy on you for the first time. I have much nastier things up my sleeve."

"She does. Trust me. Besides, you don't want to see Jade get violent." Sinjin added. "She's once cut up the janitors garbage cans with just a regular pair of scissors."

"She's that strong? Lets see, the strength to make the cut, even over time, would require...Oh my." Sheldon looked at Jade. "So what brings you to my office and please remember you don't hurt your mentor."

"This is faw fwom ovew!" The retreating Physicist said as he left. Jade made sure she still had the number for Dave the Diaper Guy in case she needed it. Doctor Kripke would later be told by Sinjin that it would be wise to let her have this win.

"I need to borrow your monkey" Jade replied, pointing at Alex. Alex looked offended but didn't say a word. Jade was sounding seriously dangerous, and she didn't want to find out how far this girl could go for revenge. Best to be on her good side.

"What do you need her for?" Sheldon asked as if it were a normal request.

"Show Sinjin here the Entomology department, and then Lenard's research. I kinda owe him a favor." she gave her best half-heated smile.

"Well I can spare her for a while. Alex, would you like to show the young man around?" Sheldon was happy that Doctor Kripke had been taken down a peg. Alex seemed happy to do the task as it was less demeaning than many of the tasks Doctor Cooper asked her to do. She took Sinjin on the tour.

"Thanks." Jade went back to her office and enjoyed an hour of working on her own theories when the latest simulation that Sheldon had sent her (that morning) finished in her head. She was almost done writing out the results along with her recommendations when Beck showed up. It was four thirty. Jade decided to show her boyfriend around. First she showed him the lab where Howard worked. Howard seemed to vacillate between a fairly responsible and intelligent man and a sex crazed loser. During their visit he made what to Jade was the right choice. While explaining to beck what he was doing, he also had a chance to talk to Jade a little in French, Russian, Mandarin, and ASL. They both had their linguistic weaknesses but it was an amusing way to pass the time.

Then she stopped by Raj to talk. The astrophysicist had nothing to say to her, but she left them for a couple of minutes and Beck bonded with Raj on their shared meterosexual attitudes. By the time Jade returned from the bathroom, they were talking about some of the places they both visit from time to time, as well as what a pain it is to be the foreign born member of their group. Beck seemed to be having a good time.

Jade didn't want to bother Lenard since she had burdened him with Sinjin, but that meant Sheldon. She decided on a quick visit, just long enough to introduce them and let Beck get a taste of the Doctors personality. It was extended when Sheldon asked Jade a couple of 'quick questions' that took about fifteen minutes to answer and left Beck unsure if Jade was still speaking English.

Jade finished up at Lenard's lab, where Sinjin was helping him set up for an experiment. Lenard explained to the handsome Canadian what they were doing and told Jade that Sinjin was extremely helpful in setting up for this run. Apparently the skills they learned (and Robbie and Sinjin mastered) in setting up electronics for plays and movies were unusually transferable. Lenard was going to ask Doctor Gablehause if he could hire the lanky young man for the summer as a technician. "You know, maybe as an intern?" Jade's scream was heard across campus.

After they left the lab and she calmed down, Jade talked to Beck. "I think we should drop by Lenard's place tonight. They have a regular get together. We can just hang in an informal setting. Just you, me, maybe Vega? I'm not worried about us fitting in since my colleagues are all big kids anyway and this will give you a chance to see how normal life with the academically gifted can be?"

"Sounds nice. Just one question, Why Tori?" Beck didn't mind. He would have suggested it himself if she hadn't. He just needed to know why.

"I want to thank her for last night. I don't do gratitude well, and it would help me not have to say thank you to her face." She smirked. "Anyway, I'll get the address and we can go drop off Sinjin, Pick up Tori and grab a couple of pizza's. You know, so they have enough." She smiled. Considerate Jade was usually a warning, but Beck had a good feeling about this.

"Why don't I drop off Sinjin and Pick up Tori while you go get the Pizza's and meet us there." Beck countered. "It makes more sense, and it will give you a little time here to finish up before heading over."

"Sure" Jade responded, once again feeling the distance between them. 'Damn! I hoped that last night would bring us together. I need to be sure about Vega. I think I'm losing him and he wants to spend time with her. I need to be sure of her motives, and that she can resist his charm.'

She plastered on a smile and kissed him goodby, then spent the next half hour finishing up her work for the day. She also took the time to check on line to see how the local collage crowd rated the local pizza places, looked at their menus and placed her order. She then took a deep breath and headed to her car. It was time to get social with her peers.


	9. Chapter 9: Party with the professors

Sheldon was surprised by the knock at the door. Everyone was there. Lenard, Raj, Howard, Bernadette, Penny, Amy and even Stuart were crowding the apartment. They had joked at one point that they needed a bigger apartment or fewer friends. Sheldon had started making a list to decide who should go. That still didn't change the fact that they were all here, and he hoped it wasn't someone trying to sell them something they obviously could get on line if the needed it. "Lenard, get the door please".

The Applied physicist complied, not worrying about his roommates desire to avoid interaction with whomever was at the door. As the door opened he saw Jade holding a pile of 4 extra-large pizza boxes from a place called "Sergio's".

"Jade, how nice of you to join us." Lenard said. Turning to the room "Sheldon, Doctor West might be coming by tonight."

As Jade walked in, Sheldon said "Lenard please remember to tell me in advance when we have extra guests. I mean really, I'm mentoring the young lady so of course I'd welcome her into our home, just let me know when she's coming so I can balance the room.. I hope she brought a friend." Looking at Jade. "Welcome to our home and our weekly breaking of the pizza bread. How are you... Wait, what are those." he pointed.

"Boobs" Jade replied absentmindedly.

"I think he means the pizza." Penny said.

"Indeed. I'm well aware of the naming nomenclature for a woman's breasts. Wait, that was sarcasm, wasn't it." Sheldon added. Penny nodded.

"I have friends coming so I brought extra pizza. According to the campus help sight, Sergio's is the best local pizza." Jade smiled as she talked.

"But it's not our normal pizza. We eat at Giacomo's, maybe Luigi's but they are not authentic since they don't speak Italian. We don't just choose a pizza place all willy-nilly." Sheldon explained.

"Try it. Maybe you'll like it. It's stone fired pizza at takeout prices." A thought passed through Jades mind. "Besides it's made by an authentic Italian man named Sergio using an old family recipe." She smiled 'more like a Spanish kid using whatever posted recipe they have'.

"Did you get one with sausage, mushrooms and light olives?" He asked.

"No. Who eats that." Jade replied.

"I do." Sheldon whined.

"Well I got one with everything. You can pick off what you don't want. I also got one with ham and pineapple, one with just peperoni, and a veggie delight for those freaks who think they are not eating animal products." Jade said.

"So who's coming?" Penny asked, futilely hoping to change the subject.

"Beck, my boyfriend, and Tori Vega, a friend." Jade replied.

"I'd appreciate it in the future if you avoid giving my address to strangers." Sheldon stated.

"Why does that name sound familiar?" Bernadette asked.

"Becks my Boyfriend. You met him today so he's not a stranger." Jade shot back

"We could look it up" Howard offered.

"He seemed a little strange to me." Sheldon shot back, weekly.

"You know you're right, there is something familiar about that name." Penny said.

"You must be thinking of Sinjin. He in not my boyfriend! He's just the freak I owed a favor to." jade was a little peeved.

During the conversation Howard was looking up Tori on his phone while Jade was making sure her fiends knew where they were.

Jade:(To Beck): We're on the 4th floor, and the elevator doesn't work. First door on your right after you reach the top of the stares.

"No, I liked that boy. You should consider dating him." Sheldon's statement was met with a death glare, and he decided to see what was happening somewhere else.

Howard spoke to the room. "And here we are. Tori Vega was the opening act at this years Platinum Music awards. Here's a picture from the news blitz leading up to it." He showed a picture of Tori in some ridiculous dress.

Beck: We've just parked and are entering the building. Be there in a minute.

"Oh my god, she was on the Chris Burm show, wasn't she?" Penny exclaimed. "We're going to have a celebrity at this party." she practically sang. Taking a good look at the picture "Wait, wasn't she with you Tuesday evening?"

"Yep. She's head of the Prome committee." Jade said sounding annoyed. "The stupid name was her idea. I can't believe they made me Prome king."

Just then the door bell sounded. Penny practically knocked Lenard and Howard over in her race towards the door. She yanked it open to see Beck and Tori.

"Hi, is Jade, um Doctor West here?" The handsome actor asked.

"Yes. Come in. Come in. Come in." Penny beckoned. As soon as the two entered she immediately pulled Tori towards Lenard. "Quick, take out picture." She was beaming.

Tori smiled politely, finding herself very patient with these types of people despite how nervous they made her. She pulled away as soon as the picture was taken and made a bee line for Jade. Conversation was once again taking over the room and Jade was talking to Sheldon again as Beck held onto her. "Just try the chizzing pizza." Jade said in a whisper-yell sounding frustrated. Beck was making sure this was a request and kept his girlfriend from enforcing it by keeping partially between the two.

"What is wrong with her." Tori asked, quickly pointing back at Penny.

"I don't like change. If you had the right pizza, maybe I would try, but you got the wrong type and so I'm not." Sheldon gave a nod like a six year old asserting his power.

"They looked you up. SHE thinks you're famous." Jade replied to Tori while rolling her eyes at Sheldon.

"She is acting crazy just because I was on TV a couple of times?" Tori asked. Jade nodded and Tori stayed close to her friends as they continued to talk.

"So what's it like, being interviewed on a national talk show?" Penny asked

Tori looked to Jade, who addressed them all in turn, starting with her friend. "Price of fame, Tori. I hear she wants to be an actress. Why don't you tell her about your career as a stunt girl?" Jade gave a big smile. "Penny, get over it. I go to a school for actors. Dale squire was a letdown, Most famous people are, and I'm gonna be an actress, director, writer and maybe producer. You didn't go gaga over me."

"You're one of them" Penny said pointing around the room at all her friends. "Nerds and brainiacs I can deal with. She's famous."

"Whatever." Jade turned back to Sheldon. "Just try the pizza. I can't afford to spend this kind of money often so just do it."

"Why not. You make more than Howard." He responded.

"What?" Howard said, turning for a moment away from Raj.

"She has a PhD, thus a higher pay grade. Also her title of Assistant Professor is a higher pay grade than yours. She should be making at least eighty thousand per year. Eighty bucks for pizza should not break the bank." Sheldon explained.

Jade looked miffed and a little embarrassed. "I have a lot of expenses. I help with my family's rent, I put some away for my brother to go to college, and I gotta pay my student loans." she said to Beck. Turning to Sheldon "Now try the pizza!" It didn't sound like a request.

"That can't be right. Howard if you will." Sheldon looked confused. He did, however, take a bite from the pizza. "My, this is good pizza. Whats that strange flavoring?"

"Whole wheat dough" Jade said, feeling proud. Sheldon dropped the slice.

"Authentic pizza is not whole wheat." he stated.

Beck had walked away to talk to Penny, distracting her from Tori. The singer had also started mingling, finding it easy to talk to the doctorates as long as she remembered that they were quirky (Nerdy) and liked weird things. Stuart was the easiest to talk to, and Raj was drinking so he was okay to talk to. He talked a lot about his dog.

"Okay, according to the UCLA records Jade West was covered by a combination of scholarships, the Moe Howard grant, and funding from a government research project that's classified." Howard said. "She owes UCLA nothing more than whatever she donates to their alumni fund."

"So two years at community collage costs about thirty dollars per unit, fifteen units per... semester? "Jade shakes her head no "Quarter plus associated fees over lets say two years comes to Four thousand and four hundred dollars, assuming you took classes during both summers. And that would be between you and your parents."

Jade looked stunned. She had no idea that her college costs were taken care of. Even with the money she would be setting aside to help her family, she would have cash. Deciding to talk to her father later, she started planning on what to do with her income. While she would save some, she could now put on a play towards the end of the summer. She started planning, a smile on her face.

"Just to sooth me, She can't build a death ray, can she?" Tori asked the room in general.

"Maybe, but she did say she thought she found the flaws in my design" Sheldon said.

"That doesn't make me feel better" Tori said.

"Apparently it had to do with sonic frequency and the amount of power I was using. She believes that a focused sonic burst could rip the flesh from a man at over twenty feet." Sheldon paused. "Should I be worried about how happy that makes her?"

Tori looked for someone else to talk to and escaped into the relative normalcy of talking to Lenard. Jade had found a place to sit down (Just not in Sheldon's spot) to listen to the conversations and plan out her next play.

"So acting is really about letting the emotions of the moment come bubbling up and carrying you through whatever scene you are doing. It's about stepping outside of your normal comfort zone and just taking a chance showing people sides of yourself you probably never knew you had." Beck had a captive audience, since both Penny and Bernadette were listening to his every word. This was normal for the handsome young actor.

"That's so deep" Penny said. Lost in his words. He was used to it. He valued his friends because they seemed immune to his vast charms.

"Maybe. Can I ask you something?" Beck looked straight at Penny.

"Sure. What?" Penny said, meeting his eyes.

"How do you get along so well with all these doctorates? I mean, you and that Stuart guy are the only two here without an advanced degree, right?" Ha sounded confident, but Jade thought she could hear something in his voice.

"Well, I don't try and participate in all their activities, since on line gaming is addictive and I'm not into the Dungeons and Dragons or comics stuff they do. Still, I did pick up some science. Also, they need me as much as I need them. I need to feel like I'm around intelligent people and they need someone who has interacted with the real world. It's a give and take." Penny said with some pride.

"Oh my chiz, you are a groupie." Beck said, smiling. "But I see. You complete them."

"Look at them. They're just big kids. Howard got married and so he's grown a bit, and Lenard is better because of years of work on my part. But Sheldon and Raj both need me to be there and help them understand whats happening when they have to step out of their comfort zones. Which is frequently. Also, I'm friends with Amy and Bernadette. We bonded on issues outside of their studies." Penny explained.

Beck was smiling for a few seconds, then his face fell. Penny noticed the moment of doubt and reacted. "Whats wrong?" she asked in a soothing voice.

Beck glanced at Jade and saw she was engaged in a conversation about comics and movies with Stuart. "I'm losing her." he said. "She's so much more than I ever thought she was, and her accepting that is going to push her away from me. How can we stay together when I don't have... I'm not as talented as she is. We've always been close, talent wise. Now she's got this whole new world about her. It's just too much to compete with. How do you do it?"

"You don't." Penny replied. "You hold onto the idea that your beliefs, you life is just as valuable. Yes, I know I'm about as hot a girlfriend as Lenard was ever going to get. Thanks to dating me, He's dated some other hotties as well. But our relationship works because Lenard is willing to make the effort to meet me half way." She looked around to make sure Lenard was in conversation, seeing him talking with Tori. "He want's to marry me. I'm know we will get married one day, it's just I'm so scared of screwing up like my parents did. Jade loves you. You'll be okay." Penny smiled, feeling a little surprised at her openness. The boy drew it out of people. Jade had to just trust him.

"No, she's in love with the idea of me. She needs to be in love, to be supported emotionally. I'm doing all I can, but she just doesn't trust me like she needs to. She needs someone she can be herself with and feel like she is loved. I know who she needs." He said with a sigh.

"Don't sell yourself short. You seem very understanding. She'd be crazy to want anyone else." Penny tried to comfort him.

"That's just it, Jade can be a little...Very crazy at times. She's been through so much, she's so hurt. I'll try, but it may be the thing to do is get her with someone else. Someone who's love will help her heal. That's what someone who loved her would do, right." He said with a sad smile.

Jade listens and understood. He was spending time with Vega because he needed a shoulder to cry on. Comforting people had never been her strong suit, but Jade knew that to keep beck she would have to open up to him about her fears, and let him open up to her about his. She knew it would be a struggle, but she was determined to close the distance.

:}

I have had the strangest writing patterns. I write two chapters at once and then post them a day or so apart.

This story is starting to take shape. Lets see where it goes.

I like Beck. I just think the relationship isn't based on anything that could last. He loves the struggle, but hates it when she fights. He likes her crazy, but cannot handle how crazy she is. They need help.


	10. Chapter 10: Life happens

Friday came without much fanfare. Jade focused on her work and finding other ways to interact with her coworkers. She had no trouble in school until Sikowitz class. It was just before lunch as always and he asked Jade for a minute of her time.

"Jade, I need a favor." he opened.

"Whats up" She said sounding annoyed.

"I need you to take over directing the end of year showcase. As you know, we always let one of the students, usually a senior, direct it. We do that so we can give the student's full credit for everything that goes on during the performances. Now normally I wouldn't ask, but we need you to take over and direct the showcase. The senior we had doing it, Scott Goldstein, sorta got burned out and you're such a talented director we just thought of you. Besides, you're so well, um, respected, we're sure that everyone would listen to you." Sikowitz explained.

"You want me to scare them into following direction? Sikowitz, I have too much to do as is. I've my own performance to rehearse, my schoolwork to finish, my job to do, two classes to prepare to teach, not to mention that my tutoring group isn't getting any smarter. I'm swamped, and I think Beck is feeling a little neglected. Can't anyone else do it?" Jade pleaded.

"Jade, it's not that simple. We really need a student to do it, and frankly I can't use my time to hold someones hand. I have my end of year evaluations and grades to finish, not to mention outside projects of my own. There just is no one else who can do the job. Besides, it won't take up THAT much of your time. And hay, if it makes you feel better, we can even claim it's an honor." Sikowitz said.

"NO! I can't do it. I need to spend some time with Beck. I have so little to give him as is. I have to show him I care" Jade was determined.

The quirky teacher looked a little surprised, but in an instant let it go. Jade could not guess what had caused that reaction as a moment later she was listening to his next counter offer. "Have him help. Have all your friends help. You just need to arrange the order and time for each performance and get the students to stay withing their allotted time, as well as run the actual show. Can you do that for sweet daddy Sikowitz?"

"Fine, but I want something. Not sure what, but I want something." Jade said as she gave in.

Jade joined the other for lunch, her mood soured. She waited for only a few moments before interrupting the conversation. "Guys. I've been asked to direct the end of year showcase, and you are all going to help me. Beck will work closely with me to make sure we time this out and arrange the acts for the best showing. Robbie will oversee the technical preparations. Andre will liaison with the various performers and make sure we have all their details, like estimated time and what as well s as preferred placement in the show. You let me know whatever they need, and let them know that I will be taking care of it if they give you a hard time. Tori, you're job will be my assistant. You'll get me anything I need."

Everyone quickly agreed except one. "No!" Tori said.

"What do you want from me?" Cat said, sounding offended.

"Cat, I know you're busy lately and I tried to give you some time off. Tori, I need you to do this." Jade explained.

"I won't be your 'Monkey'" Tori said while making the air quotes.

"Fine, I don't need your help." Jade spat back.

"Everyone chill. Tori, you don't have to be Jades assistant, but it would be nice if you could help out wherever you can. Jade, Tori is you friend, treat her like it." Beck tried to sooth things over.

"Okay" Tori both said.

"Yea, whatever" was Jades reply. She felt a lot of conflicting emotions as she looked at Tori. She was jealous, because Beck defended her, and he never defended Jade. She was ashamed, because Tori didn't do anything to deserve the anger she was feeling towards the Latina. Jade was also feeling week, hurt by her own neediness. Tori was her confident. She would need Tori to help her make it through the next two weeks, and yet she was also quick to dismiss her. Jade may or may not have been aware of what she needed, but she was also a stubborn prideful girl used to trying to handle the world on her own. Jade was unsure of her feelings, but it was partially because she was used to ignoring them anyways. She just knew she needed Beck, or that's what she told herself over and over. 'I'll be lost if I don't close the distance I'm feeling. I've got to show him how much I love him.' Fear of losing him drove her thoughts. Jade was afraid of being an unlovable freak.

Jade worked extra hard During study hall, taking the time to address each students weaknesses with whatever strategy she had found for them. The success of her students would reflect on her teaching abilities, and Jade never did anything halfway. Trina had been more than helpful, since the less talented Vega was also being judged on Jades work. Trina was a quick study for academic subjects, and held a real talent for the social sciences. If you ignored her inflated opinion of herself and her abilities, Trina had one of the most clear understandings of human motivation that Jade had ever met. The two were a long way from being friends, but Jade had found that it was no risk to get old contacts from UCLA to help the girl get in for the summer session. It was an easy equation. Once she understood what Trina's talents were, she could respect the girl. Jade was even thinking about who would be perfect for her. The most obvious was Beck, if she just lost the diva attitude, but he was Jades. 'And I don't share'. Jade knew she would find someone. Trina was too attractive not to have a boyfriend. Jade would just make sure whomever it was would be worthy of the prize. 'Whatever happened to me to make me think of Trina like that?' Jade wondered.

After school, Jade decided to call Lenard.

"Yo, Lenard. Whats up?" Jade said as he answered his phone.

"Lenard, it's for you." Sheldon said.

"Sheldon, wait up." Jade quickly said.

"Yes" he replied.

"I just wanted to thank you for letting me and my friends crash your party last night. I'm sorry we didn't call first, but honestly, I don't. I want to be friends, you know, because I need to talk to people who are into the whole science thing. However, I don't do most of what you guys do." She was trying to explain without knowing why.

"Apology accepted. I'm giving you to Lenard." then the sound of talking was followed by Lenard's voice.

"Doctor West, nice to hear from you." Lenard said.

"Why did Sheldon answer your cell phone?" Jade asked.

"I don't know. I could ask him, but I think it would be better if I didn't know the answer." He sounded resigned.

"I was calling to thank you for letting me and my friends crash your party. I also realized with the exception of really violent video games, physics, and screwed up childhoods, we really don't have that much in common. I still want you guys as friends, just I'm not sure where to go from here." She admitted.

"Do you play an instrument? I play cello. Not that we need to play together." He sounded like he was stretching, looking for more interests they share. "I'm just saying we have more in common. Still, I see your point. I guess I just liked that you respected my work." He said.

"We'll figure something out. I play keyboard, by the way. I'll talk to you once my schedule gets less crazy. I just had another major assignment handed to me." Jade wined.

"Sheldon?" Lenard said.

"No, not by him. I can handle the chiz he gives me. It's the end of year showcase." Jades voice changed, doing her surprisingly good impersonation of Sikowitz. "It's chance for the seniors and the most talented of the other students to show off what we learned." Returning her voice to normal "All my friends and I are performing, and now I'm directing it. I'm going to be swamped for the next couple of weeks, and I'll be extra cranky because of it." She warned him.

"I'll warn Alex." He said. "By the way, I like the voices. Do you do others?"

"Warn the whole department." she joked. "And I can do a few voices, including a couple of male characters. Off topic, I need some advice, but right away. I just need to know what kind of friendships I can have at work. How I can get along with you people. Just think about it and tell me when I'm not about to rip someones head off, okay? I just to be friends. I gotta get going now. I can't lose Beck." She said the last part without thinking.

"Lose Beck?"

Sighing, Jade continued. "I've felt this, I don't know, kind of distance for a while now. And I think he's feeling inadequate because of this whole PhD thing. I really need to show him I love him, to close the gap in our feelings."

"Have you considered sex? That usually works with me and Penny." Lenard jokes, only to stop mid chuckle.

"What the Chiz? Are you all perv's?"Jade screeched.

"Sorry, It's called being male. I don't know Sheldon's excuse." Lenard said. "I am sorry though, it was probably insensitive."

"Damn straight. I know you were trying to help, but please remember I'm a sixteen year old girl. Also, I have a rep to keep. I'm the dangerous, vengeful one, so don't make regret letting you off the hook this time." she said as she ended the call, not giving him a chance to respond.

Jade then called Beck.

"Hey Jade. Whats up? I have the preliminaries for the showcase." Beck answered.

"Great. Tell me over dinner. I'll take you to a nice place." Jade responded.

"Nope" Beck said, popping the P.

"Why is everyone saying no to me today?' Jade said, voice raised.

"I'm the man, so I'll take you somewhere." he responded.

Jade growled, then recovered. "I make more money than you. I can afford it." She countered.

"So I guess you're eating alone?" He replied.

"All right. Just know, I'm ordering the lobster." Jade said.

"You want seafood?" he sounded lost for a second. "No, wait..OH." Beck was silent for over half a minute. Only the counter on her phone let her know he had not hung up. "Are you sure you want to do that? I mean, Jade, I don't want to rush you."

"We've been sleeping together since the beginning of our second year together. God Beck, I'm not some damaged girl who will break down the moment I see your junk. I just want you to know how much I need you." she sounded flirty towards the end.

"I'll pick you up in an hour?' Beck said, perhaps a bit too quickly.

"I'll be waiting." she purred. Jade showered, did her hair, chose something to ware, and did her makeup in record time. Beck was only waiting a few minutes when she came down to see him. She had an overnight bag with her, and a determined look on her face.

He took her to this nice hole in the wall restaurant he had found. The staff and owners seemed to treat everyone like old friends who they had not seen in a long time. The wait staff talked with them about random safe things while feeling like old friends catching up. The food was American diner, but served with an old world charm that felt European. The meal was lovely, and Jade felt some of the distance close. Still, the feeling was wrong. It felt like she was with just a friend. It could even have been Robbie, if he didn't annoy her so much, and learned how to hold a nice conversation.

After a nice dinner they retreated to Becks trailer. Jade slipped into her best sex kitten mindset, playfully flirting with her boyfriend. Slowly kissing turned to touching as they both got heated. Beck, however, was still reluctant. "Are you sure about this" slipped from his lips at least three times as they slowly moved from petting to intercourse. Finally, reluctantly Beck gave in to her eager charms, and he made love to her. Beck kept to himself how he belatedly realized that Jade was not responding to his touch the way he wanted her to. She felt forced, like she didn't want to sleep with him. Guilt ate at his mind as she tried to just cuddle after they were done.

In the darkness it finally became too much for the actress as she just started crying. Beck had been expecting that this might happen and had managed to stay awake despite the workout Jade had just given him. He hugged her to him and whispered in her ear that it would be all right. Soon he would talk to her about what happened, but tonight she needed to cry.


	11. Chapter 11:Consiquences of denial

I tried to be in everyone's emotions as I wrote this, so it was interesting. While it reads normal, be aware it may get a little heavy.

:}

Jade tried to avoid talking about what had happened with Beck that Friday night. Unfortunately, that meant avoiding Beck. So instead Jade endured his attempts to talk, subtly letting him know it was not yet time. She buried herself in her various end of semester and occupational projects. This time, they only offered a small respite from her problems. Jade was stressing.

Tori spend the first few days of the next week walking on eggshells. Her time with Jade was often stressful. Tori was always ready to step in and help the girl in any way she could. Since Jade wanted to handle things on her own, the Latina often felt helpless waiting for Jades defenses to slip just enough for her to want help. Tori's stress was that of the family watching a loved one drown while refusing all aid. It was hopelessness compounded by Becks needs. The Canadian talked to her regularly, telling her his fears, and letting her know of his plans for Jade. Tori was starting to crack under the stress.

Trina turned out to be the anchor that kept the gang from being swept away in the storm of Jade life. She was there for her sister, often just listening without judging. For Andre, Robbie and Cat she was a shoulder to cry on. However, since they didn't know the cause of the stress in their group, they just found Trina the one to vent to when Tori was too stressed to be there for them. Beck was the hardest to help, since he was in his head more then his heart. She could see how he hurt, but that he just needed space. Trina helped him by keeping the girls away. She used every rumor she could start, mostly that Jade was this close to snapping, and no one wanted to be the first victim. The only one who would not take her help was Jade.

Trina soon found others in need of her help. Jade's mood and stress was still bothering her when she was at work. Jade tried to be civil, but the stress of everything she had agreed to do was building without her personal life adding to the load. Lenard tried the hardest to be her friend, and succeeded the most since he knew enough to just listen. Penny was becoming a problem since the actress had discovered a local producer who was interested in producing more plays from the writer and director of "Well Wishes". Penny decided she would be in Jades next play, and unknowingly added to the stress of the young writer by bugging her to write in a part for her. Raj, Howard, and even Kripke kept their distance, but all three wanted to be friends with the damaged girl. Howard because she was a kindred soul, and he felt for her. Raj was just a decent person when romance and relationships were not on the line. Barry Kripke because as much as her actions stung, he respected her. He still wanted to get back at her, but he respected her.

Amy and Bernadette were indirectly affected by Jade's bad mood as it reflected on the mental state of their respective relationships. Bernie was supportive of her husband and still secretly terrified of the predator that Jade was. She was afraid her husband would say the wrong thing (A likely possibility) and be returned in pieces after a "Lab accident" on one of his projects. Amy found it difficult having Sheldon so close to a stressed out "Alpha" and was worried that she might do something to relieve the stress. Sheldon, however, was the one person unaware of Jades mood. While Alex refused to go near her, he somehow missed the subtle air of danger and frustration that permeated the air around the young prodigy.

Into the Mess at Caltech, Trina waded with her ability to be both a distraction and someone who would understand. Often her actions were minimal, barely noticed. Still, the often needed moments of comic relief or just being there to redirect Jades attention during her surprisingly frequent visits to the campus (She claimed that Dave, the coffee kiosk guy, was cute) helped keep Jade's mood from detracting too much from the work. Trina had stepped up.

Jade was aware of Trina's presence. She knew what Trina was really trying to do. Still, Jade refused to open up to the older Vega sister. Jade was just determined to muscle through it. Old habits die hard, and Jade had relied on this approach for a long time. It was hard on her. Trina still had one card to play, so one week to the day after Jades attempt to close the distance she felt with Beck, Trina approached after a meeting of the Showcase committee at school.

"God Trina, what the chiz do you need now?" Jade almost exploded, her temper no more controlled than before.

"One quick question." Trina was being more subtle than normal, and Jade in all her stress didn't notice it.

"What?" Jade said in the most dramatic was possible.

Trina didn't even hesitate. "What did Tori do?"

"Nothing, why?" Jade said.

"It's just she's hurting now. She's feeling helpless and worried and has no idea how to help you. Could you do me a favor and just talk to her. Let her know how stressed out all this work is making you. I think you kinda owe me, so could you?" Trina asked.

Jade held her tongue, not sure what to do with the request. Finally after Trina emphasized with her face that she needed an answer, Jade spoke. "I need to talk to Beck first. I owe it to him to give him first shot." Jade was not sure why Trina's words made her feel so guilty. 'I never asked for Tori to worry about me.'

"First shot? Jade, this is about friendship. Beck would understand. You're just venting. You're under a lot of stress, I know. It's just about talking to someone you trust." Trina noticed Jades face as she was talking, and decided that maybe Beck was the one Jade would talk to. Just not for the reasons Jade had.

"I'm talking to Beck! Tori will just have to wait!" Jade said. Then, less forcefully "I'll make it up to Tori later." Jade then started walking away.

"It's not my problem." Trina said

Jade called Beck and left a message. Hopefully he was driving and could not answer. She said she was coming over and bringing a pizza. A couple of minutes later she got a call from Beck.

"Hi Babe" he said.

"Hi" She replied. "I'm getting a pizza. I'll be over in a bit."

"You ready to talk?" He asked

"I'm ready to talk." Jade was feeling suddenly tired

"I'll see you when you get here. Love you babe." He then hung up.

Jade got the pizza the way Beck liked it. She arrived shortly after, knocked and was let in. They ate quietly, enjoying each others company, then started talking.

"Jade, tell me whats going on. I need to know" He said. "You can't carry it all on your own. If this is a relationship, you need to start trusting me."

"Okay, it's just too much at once. I can only handle so much chiz going on at once, and this is too much. The showcase participants are always in my chiz, ignoring the people I placed to buffer their annoying selves. Work is no less stressful, and I have my own projects and performance to do. I'm also writing a new play. Get this, one of Penny's loser friends is dating some chick that knows a producer interested in my work. They want me to write and direct a slightly larger performance of the same quality as the opening night of 'Well Wishes'. That's just adding to my work load." Jade rambled and Beck just listened. She was deliberately leaving something out. It brought out his aggression, the way she tried to avoid talking about it.

"Okay, Tell me about last week. The thing that happened between us, in bed. Or do I need to call Tori?" Beck hadn't meant for his frustration to spill out, but the venom in the last part was clear.

"It was nothing." Jade said in a weak voice, hoping to get back on her other frustrations.

"You were crying. I was afraid that would happen, that unresolved issues would come up after you admitted you were" beck took a deep breath. "That you were raped. I know I should have stopped you. Why are you so hard to resist. I mean, I don't need to sleep with you to know how you feel." Becks self blame was on top of a lot of hurt.

"Beck, you've always needed me to show you how I feel." Jade froze as soon as she said it.

Beck paled. "You mean this isn't the first...Oh my...Have I been hurting you for the last two years? Have I been raping my girlfriend, the one I love, for the last two years?" his voice was getting higher.

"DON'T EVER USE THAT WORD!" Her voice shook the RV. "Not for what we did. Yes, I may have forced myself, a couple of times, but it was always my choice. There is a huge difference between my giving something and it being taken. Beck, I love you..."

"So you did force yourself to sleep with me." Beck sounded wounded, almost disgusted. "Jade...Why couldn't you say no. I would have understood. This isn't right, not if you're forcing yourself to have sex just to please me." His eyes showed so much understanding and pain.

"I didn't always force myself. Often when we were intimate I was really into it. It was just a few times." Jade was quickly cut off.

Jumping in, he asked "How many? How many times did you force yourself? Jade, I need to know." Beck held his ground, looking his girlfriend in the eye. He needed to confirm his suspisions.

Jade whispered her answer. "Maybe a dozen at most..." She was feeling weak, like the horrible person she knew she was. Despite her best efforts she had hurt Beck, who had only tried to be there for her.

"A dozen? Jade, a dozen? We've only made love about thirty times, and your telling me that almost what, half the times we were together, you forced yourself? did any of those times feel good to you? Please, I need the truth." Beck sounded vulnerable, holding in his anger and hurt.

"I liked it when I wanted it." She replied, voice weak. She was on the verge of losing it again. 'I knew I didn't deserve him. He's so good, and I'm this freak. No one could love me. And I hurt him. I keep hurting him. Maybe he's better off with Vega.'

"Did it ever occur to you that I never wanted to hurt you. I don't like to see you in pain. When you make yourself sleep with me, you're hurting us both. You said you didn't enjoy it when you forced yourself. Did it hurt? Did I tear at old wounds? Did you ever cry? When I hurt you like that?" He was talking softly now, but his eyes told the whole story. They showed hurt, anger, and betrayal.

"I cried at home." she said. Looking him in the eyes, she added "Please Beck, I just wanted to make you happy. It's not easy for me to do, making others happy. Please..." Tears flowed down her cheeks.

"And what kind of monster would that make me, if the only way for me to be happy is to cause you so much pain. Jade, I just want you to be happy. You never seemed to know how. I'm beginning to think that maybe our love isn't strong enough to save you. Please jade, I know it hurts us both, but I need to know. What else are you keeping from me? What is it I can't give you?" he asked.

Through tears and the lump in her through, She spoke. "I don't know, Beck. I... I sometimes hit things just to hurt. While I learned to fight just to feel safe, I need to replace my heavy bag about once a year. I hit it that hard, and with only enough padding not to bleed on it." She took a moment to catch her breath, determined to continue. Tears blurred her vision. She needed to confess, knowing she might not be able to stop. "I often wear uncomfortable shoes or, or eat food I hate just to pay for the right to feel good about myself. For a while. I... I'm wrong. I know I am, because if I were right my father would love me and my mother would love me unconditionally. I deserved to be hurt.."

"Stop!" His voice was firm, but he was crying too. "No one deserves to be hurt like that, to be raped. You have the right to be happy. Jade, I know you are a little dark, but please think about this. I love you, and I want the one's I love to be happy. What can we do to make you happy? If you need someone else, I'll let go. Jade, please..."

"Beck. No. I love you. I just, I don't know, please make the pain stop. I tried everything I can think of to push it down. I distract myself with simple theories about the creation of the universe, but it only hides the feelings for a little while." Jade was starting to slip away into hysteria, and Beck wasn't sure what to do. He held her, both of their tears mixing on his chest as he silently prayed for a solution. Jade repeated "Please make the pain stop. Make me normal. Please." He suspected he knew what he had to do, but it was so hard to give up on this now vulnerable girl. Her song had been a lie. He didn't know her at all, and his fearless demon of a girlfriend had turned into a wounded child. Still, the tower of strength was there, under this shaking mound of insecurity. He would help her find it. He would wait for her to be under a little less stress first, because the only way he could think of to heal her old wounds required creating a new one. One that would also heal. It would get worse.

:}

Hi to anyone who's reading this. I can honestly say it's been getting away from me, so I'm looking forward to seeing where it's going.

So is anybody out there?


	12. Chapter 12: The calm before the showcase

Just a reminder, Doctor Kripke has a speech impediment that makes his L's and R's sound like W'. It makes him interesting to write for.

:}

Jade felt the increasing stress that came with her final week of school. Everyone needed something. Caltech had her come in an extra day to go over the syllabuses for the classes she would be teaching. The good news was the seminar would be topical, only requiring her to be up to date and able to enplane the intricacies and answer questions. She was already keeping up to date, so it would just need a couple of hours per week to organize her thoughts and prepare for presentation. The other class would require more work on her part, including preparing assignments and lectures to go with the standardized syllabus, but it was doable. Grading would be the biggest problem, since she would have to go over each paper and check their work. Jade felt she was being underpaid.

Jades schoolwork was the usual, but that still meant time spent and effort. She was an A student. No sense in letting her grades slip over something as simple as her life spinning out of control. Jade just had to put in the effort. Finals would signal the end of that insanity, and then Jade could focus on the next bit of crazy to come her way. It was a form of coping, but it added to her stress.

Her tutoring group was calling her, literally calling her, for last minute pointers as they headed into their respective finals. They even called her for subjects other than science. Jade had to threaten one guy who called her on the way into her script writing class asking for help for the same class. She glared at him across the room, and coldly reminded him he wasn't even part of her tutoring group. Then she let him know that if he called her again she would use her scissors to remove his manhood, since he obviously wasn't using it.

Jade was even stressing on the play she was writing for the end of summer. She needed a draft as soon as possible so her would be producer could look it over and make his recommendations. She was dreading whatever changes would be asked for, but couldn't think about it as she wrote a play about a poor girl who's sister was a talent vampire. The girl, originally talented, came across as untalented, annoying and delusional. The vampire sister made friends with the most talented people at her school, drawing out their talents to help her become a star, and no one believed the "untalented diva" who tried to warn them. It was an inspired work in progress.

As for the showcase, it was moving along better than expected. Her own performance was going to be a song. She felt good about it, having wrote it herself and she was feeling the music. Jade had even managed to get placed towards the opening of the show, so she would be free to run things from there. Beck was acting as stage manager, and Tori was helping out wherever she could. Tori, Andre, Cat and Robbie all had performances during the three hour show (not counting intermission). Budgeting eight minutes per performance plus set change, that left time for 22 acts plus final bow. The list was full, and everyone was ready. It was Wednesday, and the performance was Friday. Jade needed some kind of release. Meaningless sex with Beck was no longer an option, so she settled for an (emotionally) uncomfortable soak in the Vega's hot-tub. Jade didn't bother trying to figure out why she felt weird with Tori, since the Latina was one of the few people she trusted enough to be vulnerable in front of. She just pushed past the awkwardness and tried to relax. Tori was massaging her shoulders as the talked. (Joining Mid conversation)

"So convincing Trina to do a stand up routine was harder than I thought, but she agreed once she found out I would be using Robbie's stand up routine if she refused. God why is such a talented boy trying to be the one thing he isn't. I want him to do a song with Cat so we can squeeze an extra act in. Trina will do better doing stand up, she just has to think the material is serious. I'm glad you decided to do a duet with Andre, so now that just leaves figuring out who to squeeze into the open slot. Oh, and Tori, that feels soooo gooood." Jade moaned the last part, appreciating the singers skill with her hands.

"I just want you in top shape for Friday. We need our director sharp. Besides, if you seem weak even for a moment, they will walk right over you." Tori tried to joke, but it was too close to the truth. "Oh, so far most of your geek friends have RSVP-ed. I bet they'll like seeing you sing." Tori felt Jade tense under her hands.

"What? How?..Tori, how did they know about the showcase?" Jade didn't seem as pleased as Tori had hoped. The director turned in Tori's hand to look at the singer.

"We felt that they might want to see your work, so we evited them. I thought you'd be happy. We did crash their party the week before last, so we kinda owe them." Tori explained herself while contemplating how she was going to live through this. She had one thought, the one Beck had given her, but he had asked her to hold off until after Jade started teaching this summer.

"And how did you get their contact information?" Jade asked suspiciously.

"We just, well, Caltech has a system for sending emails to the faculty. We just sorta used that. The Physics Dean, Doctor Gablehauser, was very helpful. We were even able to exclude you so you didn't get any bothersome email from us." Tori's voice, having started normally had gone quiet, barely heard above the sounds of the hot tub. She became aware of how suspicious excluding Jade sounded in the middle of her sentence. It sounded like they were doing it behind her back.

"WHAT?!" Jade's voice was heard throughout Hollywood. Tori tried to hide under the water, quickly deciding drowning would be quicker than whatever her irate friend would do to her. The goth, however, just pulled her up into the air.

"Please, we just wanted your coworkers to see what a talented girl they were working with." Tori said quickly, adjusting to the suddenly cold air on her face. Jade remained quiet for a few seconds, finding her voice while holding Tori under her arms so the girl could not escape.

"Look, Tori, I appreciate what you were trying to do. But you should have asked me. I would have handled it myself." Jade said through clinched teeth. Her mind was moving so quickly, thinking of who was on that list. Letting go of her anger for now, she focused on what she needed to do. "Now you have faculty I may not like knowing about the show. They could be attending, looking for things to use against me. He might... I need a phone. Now! I gotta do some damage control. Hurry!" Jade gave orders as she scampered out of the tub, grabbing a towel and drying herself while moving towards her computer, checking the time as she looked up what she needed. 'Not yet six. He'll still be in his office. Hopefully no caller ID.' Tori followed, grabbing Jades phone, and hoping her friend would be happy with it. Seconds later, Jade grabbed her phone and made a call.

"Hewwo, Doctor Kwipke's office. How can I hewp you." He responded after only a couple of rings. His voice was surprisingly cheerful.

"Doctor West here. I just found out you were invited to view our end of year showcase. I was wondering why you'd bother since the girls will all be fully dressed and showing talents that don't involve pretending to like you." Jade's reply was calm, but her eyes told a different story.

"Oh Doctow West. I wouldn't dweam of missing your big pewfowmance." he said, sounding amused.

"Look, I know you think I will be vulnerable for a little payback during the performance. But think about this. I know the area around Shadow Creek Park better than the rangers. It's a place where someone could disappear, never to be seen again. Embarrass me, ruin the chance for the performers to shine, and I swear there will be an opening at Caltech." Jade hissed.

"Wook, Doctow West. I know I'm pwanning a wittwe wetwibution, but I wouwd nevew huwt a bunch of bwamewess kids just to get you. Wevenge is coming, my honow wequiwes it, but not thewe. I just want to see the show. I pwomise." He said. Jade relaxed. She didn't quite trust him, but she was sure he would think twice before he did anything to mess with the show.

"Then please enjoy the show. I look forward to seeing you there." Jade said, looking less homicidal.

"I'ww see you tomowwow. Later." Doctor Kripke ended the call.

"Bye" Jade said. She then went to put her phone back on her way to the hot tub.

"So, Jade, everything's peachy?" Tori asked, immediately regretting her choice of words.

"Oh there ever so peachy" Jade said in her 'Tori' voice. It irked Tori that a girl who could do so many incredible voices chose one that didn't sound like her at all.

"I don't talk like a starlet from the forties." Tori replied. She didn't get to follow Jade to the tub because her own phone went off. She stopped to answer it, making sure to watch Jade and stay out of earshot from the pale beauty.

Jade didn't hear the conversation, but she noticed Tori's absence. She had her suspicions. Beck was pulling away, and he always wanted Tori. Jade couldn't blame him. The Latina was beautiful, talented, fiercely independent while always seeking to help others. Tori was just so loveable. Jade had hated her for it, yet still had gone out of her way to help the singer on more than one occasion. Yes, she sometimes went overboard, like the Gorilla club. She didn't need to push Tori into facing the gorilla, but she did. The club was supposed to just help Tori learn to take risks. While everyone else tried to find a safe way for her to take risks, Jades solution worked. Risk equaled danger, but Tori learned that risk didn't equal death.

Jade had to admit that yes, many of her actions did seem cruel, but that was part of her approach. Pushing Tori off the forty foot platform seemed mean, but it was nicer then "Saving" her from making the fall. Now the singer would know she could face her fears. Jades solutions were tough love. 'Tough like? Kinda get along? Tough tolerate?' Jade was unsure of their relationship.

In the end, no mater what they did to each other, Tori was the one threat to her and Beck that Jade could do nothing about. Tori was genuinely Beck's friend, and would be hers to if she ever admitted it. Jade just could not risk it. The tragic genius was sure that in the end she would wind up hurt, and the fear of that pain of losing Beck as her one safe place, was paralyzing. Jade knew that if she truly allowed Tori in, she and beck were done for.

As Tori reentered the tub, she was talking. "Beck has the show planed out. We can have Wendy, the dancer, and a couple of her friends do a quick number to fill in our open space..." Tori droned on about Becks work as she started rubbing Jades shoulders almost unconsciously. Jade let the whole thing go as she contemplated her relationship.

'Beck said that if you love something, you have to be willing to let it go. That sometimes we get caught up in a love that only hurts us, and a better one might be available. Is our relationship dying?' Jades thoughts drowned out Tori's conversation. 'If we're not going to make it, if we just keep hurting each other, than am I being selfish? But I want Beck. I need him. He makes me normal, proves that I'm loveable. But I'm not. Even in love I hurt him, and he deserves so much more.' she looked back at Tori, who had stopped talking to study Jade. Tori was lost in her own thoughts, her hands still on the other girls shoulders, but the motion was mindless, just a moving contact over the same piece of skin. The silence between them grew, and Jade felt caring for the other girl somewhere in her heart. As far as relationships went, Tori was so much better than she was. 'So much better than me.'

Jade made a decision. By the end of summer, she would find a way to let him go. She knew that it meant being alone, but she knew she was too damaged to love. It was her selfish parts that decided to wait, to see if there was another chance. Jade would need both Beck and Tori for at least another few days, possibly weeks, and she was hoping to get through the worst parts of the summer before losing her support. She anticipated they would find each other, laughing together at his jokes or her latest antics. The group would naturally have to choose, so they would stay with Tori since Jade was so hard to like. Cat was already distancing herself now that she was living with her Nona in Venice. Jade forced herself to stop thinking about how things would probably turn so she could keep from crying. It may have been noble, but it was going to hurt like hell. Loss always did.

Somehow Jade held it together until she got home. Crying on her pillow was a short term solution, and it was past one in the morning when she had to stop assaulting her heavy bag. A layer of blood covered the material, and she realized she had forgotten to put on her padding. Jade mechanically cleaned the wounds, covering them in bandages and hoping that the last day of class she would be free of any obvious damage. 'How could I be so stupid.'

Thursday was the last day of classes at Hollywood Arts. Friday would be dedicated to preparing for the showcase, the seniors practicing for graduation on Saturday, and the other classes just hanging out to experience the feeling of the second biggest show of the year. (The Big showcase was the biggest) Since all the finals were done by this point (So if someone missed a day they could make it up) the classes usually consisted of time killing or small performances. Jade found herself admiring the simplicity of the whole thing. Hollywood Arts had a longer school year then other schools, but they needed it to cover the diverse and often specific materials unique to performing arts schools.

Still, the day was not just sitting around, except in the pure academic classes where the teachers had trouble throwing appropriate materials at them on the last day of school. The arts classes would use this time for short skits, songs, music or whatever in an attempt to get one last quick performance out of each and every student. The film classes watched a movie, but tore it apart during the class discussing everything with an understanding of film that many critics lacked. It was a fun day, but everything served a purpose.

Sikowitz ran his class with his usual unpredictable and sometimes manic style, giving each student an assignment to work on over the summer. Jade noticed hers was to just observe people and take notes. "Jade, you're a talented and committed actress. You just need to add to your repertoire. Learn how real people interact. How they talk. Just add personalities to your playbook so that you can play a wider range of characters. You could even do musical comedy if you just found some happier people to mimic." It was a strange assignment, but it made sense. Jade was a great character actor. Widening her range would only help. On her way out of class, he stopped her to get in one last piece of advice. "Oh, Jade, please the next time you injure yourself have the decency to admit it. Long sleeves in June? Really?" That was his final word on the subject, mercifully given alone as she was on her way to lunch.

Once that part was done, she found Caltech to be rife with anticipation. They wanted to hear her sing, and see a show. She found that over twenty of her colleges were planning on attending, having even grabbed their own block of seating. Surprisingly Doctor Gablehauser, her boss, was going to be there. Jade was sure she would need a dozen graves in the desert to cover up her past after this. More if she dealt with Tori. Lenard was one of the few people she wanted to attend, even if it meant Penny would be there as well. Raj was alright. "If you get drunk, you will never know what I did to get back at you." was Jades genital warning. Alex hadn't intended to show up, but Sheldon insisted. For her own reasons, that worried Jade. Even Dave the Coffee kiosk guy was planning on showing up, since he now had someone who could cover that shift.

Doctor Kripke was one of the people Jade had wanted to remind that she could easily take out physically. He, however, stayed distantly friendly during their brief encounter. He waved, said "Hewwo" and went about his business. Jade found his carefree attitude suspicious, and was determined to not let him ruin it for the class. Jades stress was strangely under control, only because her biggest stressors were either handled or put off until after the show. At least no one outside of Sikowitz had noticed her injuries, and they would be mostly healed by Friday, being just her small cuts along her arms, fists and knees. Jade had that to be thankful for. As she prepared for bed, she wondered what kind of clusterfuck fate had planned for her last day as a junior.

:}

I hope my reader(s) enjoyed this one. Next chapter's going to be interesting.


	13. Chapter 13: fallout at the showcase

Just a reminder, I own nothing, but borrowed everything. I promise to return them when I'm done.

Italics are lyrics in Jades head.

:}

Friday came, bringing the Final showcase of the school year. The students were everywhere, either doing important jobs or watching so they can learn how to do those jobs. Jade was in the middle of it, guiding the student body of Hollywood Arts towards the three hours that would show off the talent of the seniors and the few juniors added to give the show some star power. Jade doubted Dale Squires really enjoyed his turn directing the showcase, but she had to admit it would look good when she was looking for funding to direct her own films. Hundreds of students flowed around the school, dozens of "impromptu" performances would add to the entertainment of those who were there early, or just help draw bragging rights. No one outside of the freshmen wanted to miss an opportunity to show of on this day. The school was alive with music, dancing, and every other performing art that the school fostered. It was a strange, magical time. Often over a dozen students would be together to own their five minutes in whatever spot they chose. Each act vying to prove that these students deserve to be stars.

Sinjin was working himself nearly into a frenzy, making sure the sets and props for the different performances were ready and that they could be quickly changed out between acts. He was used to working with whatever resources were available, but today he had an abundance of help. Robbie and Burf helped ride herd on the dozens of stage hands pitching in for the last minute preparations. The rarely used school auditorium was quickly being prepared for one of the few times the students were aloud to use it. Jade watched the whole process taking shape, a professional air dominating the school. After today, the families of the outgoing students would know just how special those seniors were. The graduating class would have the pride of their last performance at the school recorded and available for download. Jade had made sure that this would be one of those memories cherished by the families of everyone involved. As a surprise, she had even arranged for ALL the technical staff and back stage hands to be out there for the final bow. 'Today, everyone gets credit.' Jade smiled at the thought. She had to remember to thank Andre for writing up the programs and the credits for the yet to be recorded show, as well as his promise to edit it together. Sinjin had prepared three cameras, each positioned to give the best angles to capture all of each performance.

Being the good director she was, Jade was ready for the inevitable series of mishaps that plague any live performance. Some of her acts wanted more time, while others wanted to be shifted around because of family not being there or whatever reason they gave. Just yesterday had been the Senior Musical, and some of her performers had been in that as well. Jade handled each problem quickly and decisively. A great director was prepared. As the performance started, the MC was doing what he could to move things along, but his humor during rehearsals had neither entertained nor distracted from the set changes. Jade noticed that they had chosen someone less funny than Robbie to be the MC. 'A friend of the previous director?' Jade was sure of it, and didn't care. Her solution was to keep it simple and have her MC just announce each act without jokes. It required a quick re-write of everything the young man would say, but her staff did it on the fly. They just made the set changes part of the in-between acts, showing off how quickly and professionally they did their jobs.

Jade's act, the only Solo song from among her little group of friends, went off third. She rocked the house with an original song, then got off stage to take over running everything. Today was about the show. Jade's other, personal problems melted into the background. Sinjin was running double duty as the head of effects and the cinematographer recording the performances. His chosen camera operators recording everything from their assigned angle for later editing, Giving each act a professional look ensuring ensuring the best replay possible. Jade felt gratitude to the lanky youth, and his crew, for staying professional and expertly doing their jobs. Gratitude ruled her this day. She made a point to thank everyone as they finished whatever they did so that they knew she appreciated their help. The school noticed and soon people who could avoided jade out of fear of whatever she was planning. This was not the Jade they knew.

Beck had also noticed the gratitude Jade was sharing as well. As another director, he saw it as her wanting to work with these people again in the future. Burning bridges rarely helped in the long run. Still, stressed out as she had been over the last couple of weeks, not even counting the old and new hurts she was feeling, he could tell she was working to contain a meltdown. Beck almost backed down from his plan, but realized that the sooner he helped her, the sooner she could be strong on her own. The whole gang was there, helping out, and so she was never alone. He did notice that she probably felt she was alone on more than one occasion. He wished he could help her, but today she had to be in charge, so he would watch and step in if necessary, but let her be until then.

It took over six hours, start to finish, for everything relating to her job to be done. After a morning of preparations, it was over an hour before the show that the doors opened and people were allowed in. That hour was used backstage to deal with emergencies, activate contingencies, and in general hide from the audience that anything was out of the ordinary. Jade coordinated the random acts that entertained the early arrivals in the lobby ares (The Interior cafeteria, apparently they have one) and kept everyone on time. After the three hours of show, with two ten minute intermissions, it still took over an hour to clean up and store everything. The early evening performance was not completely stripped down and stored until after ten at night. Jade had to oversee everything.

The show part finished about eight thirty. As Jade was making sure the acts were available for the "Meet and greet" with parents, guests and alumni, she herself was invaded by a slew of well wishers. She had taken the time to say hello and exchange a few words with each of them as she continued to oversee everything. Sikowitz was one of the first. "Congratulations. The show was a success. I was just wondering if you had the time, I'm running a couple of actors workshops this summer. I could use a few students I know to help the others adjust to the intricacies of acting. I'll email you the deets."

Jade glared at him. 'He wants me to pay him to use me as a teaching assistant?' She hardly had a chance to be angry when Lenard came by to congratulate her.

"Jade. That was interesting. I loved your song, the dancing, the comedy, but I didn't get everything. Some of the acts were a little artsy. Still, nice show." Lenard tried.

Penny spoke up. "Oh my god, that shoeless guy looks just like the guy running the acting classes I'm taking. You know, the workshops I'm doing over the summer. Taught by that guy who came so highly recommended at the last audition, before they rejected me." she said to her boyfriend. "Oh, Hi Jade, nice show." She smiled. Jade knew she would avoid the acting workshops now.

Jades parents were there. Her father took the time to let her know she should be putting all this effort into her new job, so they would like her more. He did mention in passing that the show was excellent, and he did enjoy himself. Her mother, however, stayed quiet, barely commenting on anything. The only real question Jades mother asked was "So how are you and Beck?" Jade felt judged, and that she had somehow failed. While the rest of her colleagues from Caltech came by to let her know how they liked the show, she pushed past her breaking heart, thanked each person, and continued to oversee the strip down.

It felt like everyone had talked to her when Jade was approached by one of the few people who deliberately waited for an opening to talk with the director alone. Doctor Kripke was the first to approach. "Doctor West, I would like to congratulate you on such a stellar performance. Suck refined talent made this a truly memorable experience. The whole show was just wonderful, almost magical." He said as he brought her a small Bouquet of flowers.

"Thanks. Those for me?" She asked, showing a weary smile.

Doctor kripke looked around, making sure they were mostly alone. There were some people about, but unless someone started trouble, they would be ignored. "I Just wanted to be sure you were done, and that no one could be hurt if something funny happened. Your friend warned me that your retaliations are always out of proportion to any practical joke I could preform. I wouldn't want you angry at me for no reason." He smiled. Jade reached for the flowers and her gave the base a sudden squeeze sending a spray of liquid across her face.

"Wha..what is..wait. What is this stuff?" Jade said, her rage growing. Taking the risk of a quick taste. "Is this water?" Confusion mixed with her anger.

"Right, water. My revenge has been delivered, my wrath is in the water on your face. Listen, we could go back and forth, retaliation for retaliation, accomplishing nothing. I suspect your planning your revenge already, but really, we're colleagues, right? Right now I was the bigger person, doing enough to restore my honor, and no more. Your only wet, my honor is restored and now maybe we can drop this conflict and work together? Okay?" He made sense. She had to respect him for not only avoiding being a doormat, but also selecting a revenge that would not land him in the hospital.

"Work together?" Jade asked the obvious question.

"My research right now it at the point where I needs to run some simulations. I'm hoping to establish a productive peace. Will you help me run my simulations? Sheldon has been monopolizing your talents, and It's not fair. My research could use your help. Help me so I can Publish?" he sounded genuine. She understood. Too many enemies only interfered with the work.

"Send me the equations and I'll put them in the queue." Jade said, sounding defeated. "Just don't expect it to happen immediately. I've got a lot of work this summer."

"Thanks, Jade. And please, lets think of this as a partnership. I always appreciate my contributors, more than Sheldon ever did. Doctor Cooper is lame when it comes to acknowledging those who helped him. When I publish, I'll be sure to reference you in my acknowledgment." Somehow Jade was sure his word choice was deliberate, defying his speech impediment. It irked her to think that she could possibly like this guy as a friend. Still, she shook his hand and agreed to help. Doctor Barry Kripke had just done the impossible. By his actions, he admitted she was the more dangerous practical joker while still getting back at her. They could work together.

"Colleagues" Jade said. They shook hands and he took his leave.

"I look forward to our collaborations, and I'll see you later." Doctor Kripke said as he left.

"Bye." She waved quickly as she returned to her work.

It stayed quiet for a short while. Jade slowly finished everything she needed to get done, her crew striking the sets and storing everything. Her crews were on their way home and only a couple of the bigger guys from the dance department were left to escort anyone feeling vulnerable to their cars. Jade had insisted and the three boys who looked like linebackers, not dancers, were surprisingly eager to help. They were big, intimidating, and got along well despite, to her knowledge, two of them being ex's. She was glad they were there. No one should feel vulnerable on a night like this. The three were waiting just outside to escort her to her car (They insisted) when she saw the one person who had yet to talk to her standing near the door.

"Beck. I was wondering where you were." She opened.

"You did good tonight." His smile was intoxicating. Despite that, she was beginning to fee a chill.

"I had a lot of help." She smiled. 'what does he want?'

"Jade, Listen to me. I was waiting until you were done because, well, this needs your full attention, and while you were already stressed out I really didn't want to add any more to your life. It's just, well...God this isn't easy." he looked into her eyes and, for some reason a song started playing in the back of her mind. It was old, she couldn't quite remember the lyrics, but somehow she knew it was important. It started drawing part of her thoughts, distracting her. She still followed her boyfriends words, but the song would not go away.

"What? Look, the escorts are waiting. Two of them graduate tomorrow and I just want to let them get some rest before they party." Jade said, starting to walk towards the door.

"I can't do this any more." Beck blurted out. "I mean, this isn't working. We tried, but knowing what I know now, I see it's just not working." He was trying to hold it together. Beck was a good writer, but not elite. He just had a some good ideas and worked on them until the whole thing seemed to shine. Words were not his forte. Still, Jade would have liked it more if he hadn't lost whatever preparations he had made, since the words were coming out wrong.

"Beck, whats wrong? Tell me, maybe I can make it right.." She didn't get to finish, while her thoughts broke through the music in anticipation of what he was going to say. 'Please not yet. I was going to do this, just not yet. I'm not ready.'

"We're not working. Not anymore. It's not that I don't love you. I just realized that we could never work out. You and I, we're in this relationship for the wrong reasons." Beck continued but somehow Jade remembered the words. In her mind, competing for thoughts, they just started. The song played.

_You and me, We used to be together. Every day together. Always._

"And I, I love you but you're no good for me. I need the struggle but it's so serious for you. It's always so painful for you. I just end up hurting you. We hurt each other." He continued.

_I really feel, That I'm losing my best friend. I can't believe this could be the end._

"And you. You just seem to live to be hurt. I can't be with you knowing that sometimes you let me hurt you just to pretend that you love me."

_It looks as though you're letting go. And if it's real well I don't want to know. _

"Jade, please understand. It's not me, it's you. You just don't love me the way I love you. I hope you understand, I do love you. It's just I need to let you go now... I'll..." His words stopped as she started singing.

"Don't speak. I know just what your saying, so please stop explaining. Don't tell me cause it hurts. Don't speak. I know what your thinking. I don't need your reasons. Don't tell me cause it hurts." She would have continued, but Becks voice cut through the air.

"JADE!" he stood in front of her, and there was a finality that had never existed before between them. Every other time, she had knows that they would get back together. She felt the song in her head but pushed it down. "I need you to know I'm not leaving you for anyone. It's just for the best. You need to heal, to be strong so you can give your heart to someone you feel you can trust." His voice wavered at trust. Jade looked into his eyes and saw as much hurt as she felt. "I'm still your friend, I'll always be your friend. I'll be around until after your birthday, if you need me. As a friend. Then I'm going to Canada for part of August, but I'm just a phone call away any time. If you need to talk, that is. It's just, as a couple, we're over. We were already over. I think it's best that we should just be friends. Please, Jade, I need you to hear this. I still care about you, so whatever you do, just don't be alone for the next couple of days. Promise me, maybe you can stay with a friend. Cat, or Tori. Please do that for me. I'm gonna be with Andre and Robbie, maybe Sinjin. I won't be alone, just so you know. Please, Just have someone around. Someone you trust enough to talk to." Beck said as he escorted her out of the building. He spoke quietly to the three guys doing escort, and they nodded. Whatever happened next, Jade wasn't sure about, since tears were now clouding her vision, and the song had jumped to a different verse.

_It's all ending we gotta stop pretending who we are..._ (Skipping the instrumental)

_You and me, I can see us dying...Are we?_

Jades pain was muted by the song, playing in her mind blocking out thoughts. Her tears took her vision, and she lost track of where she was. Vague images burned through the song and the memories of Beck. How he made her feel safe. Wanted. Loved. Now that was over, and she could not muster the energy to care where she was.


	14. Chapter 14: After the breakup

Jade opened her eyes, and looking around realized she was in an unfamiliar bedroom. The white walls and neutral curtains were unfamiliar, despite her being here for what felt like forever. Not sure where she was, Jade thought about the last things she remembered. Through the blur of painful emotions that had trapped her in her head, she started to recall some moments. She remembered Gregory, one of the big guys she had escorting people to their cars. She remembered him driving her home. She recalled someone in the back seat talking to him, since she was in no condition to talk. He was joking about Jeff, another of the volunteer escorts, who was driving her car and following them. Somehow the topic of Jeff's sexuality came up. "He's the straight one, but no one believe that because I'm such a sports nut and he's just so in love with ABBA." She recalls hearing. She was unmoved at the time, but smiled now.

She felt just a tiny bit hungry. That's when she remembers food, or rather her eating some. Someone, she wasn't sure who, had made sure she ate. A strange dance of foods she could not remember tasting but was sure found there way into her danced by in her memories. That's when it hit her. She was a guest in someones home. Someone had taken the initiative to care for her while she mourned the end of her and Beck. She had been so wrapped up in her loss she had missed the effort they taken to ensure she was healthy. Now, however, it was a new day and while she still felt lost, she felt that maybe she could get out of bed, take a shower, and face the world. Beck and Jade was over, their romance died last night. That thought alone sent pain through her. What was worse was that as much as she tried to ignore what he said, he was right. It had been painful, but it was the pain from the loss of an assumed future built over nearly three years together as well as her comfortable safe place more than the love of her life. Beck was her best friend, almost like a brother. 'I often wish I could trade Ryan in for Beck, or Andre, or Robbie, maybe Rex when the brat is really annoying.' Then again, her brother was barely twelve, and the almost five year age difference had been difficult to overcome. The momentary distraction brought a smile to her face. Jade noticed that she was alright, and that thought pained her. She should be suffering for at least a few more days, to really mourn the loss of her love.

'So where am I?' became the question. She was in Someones home. Someone who spent the drive to this house flirting with Greg despite his assurance that Beck, maybe Andre, were more his type. Someone so desperate to date a hot guy that she would throw herself at a gay one in the off chance that her inflated opinion of herself was real and she could turn him straight. In short, she was with Trina. That meant Tori was here as well. She needed information. Jade found her phone, it was recharged somehow. 'We all have the same fucking phones. Of course it was recharged.' She confirmed the date. It was Sunday. Saturday was spent in bed, with only trips to the bathroom and meals breaking the cycle. Jade barely remembered it. She had lost a day, buried in the gray clouds of her sorrow. She suspected that she received a pep talk during that time, and maybe confessed her pain. She could not identify who she had talked to if her life depended on it, but was willing to bet they had a last name starting with V.

Her phone showed missed calls and texts. Jade quickly deleted most of them, none of them being important. One from her mother assuming she was spending the weekend with her father and his trophy fuck. One from her father assuming she was with her mother, where she usually would be, but implying she might be trying to start her own family with Beck. That last part hurt, in more ways than one. 'He called me irresponsible. I have a fucking job. I can afford kids. I make more chizzing money than he does.' The anger felt good, natural. It didn't last, but it felt like she was alive for those few minutes.

One of the calls, the one Jade felt she had to return, was from Sheldon. He was a pain, but he was on her side. It took a few rings for him to answer.

"Doctor Cooper's cell phone. Hello Doctor West. I was wondering what teenage adventures kept you from returning my call in a timely fashion?" He was annoying from the first sentence. So why did that make her smile.

"Why did you call me, Sheldon. and is Lenard there." She asked. It may have been done under a sense of duty, but that didn't make her like the call any more. The joy of Sheldon being Sheldon only lasted seconds, and the frustration usually lasted longer. Naturally she was impatient to finish this.

"I was just calling because Penny said I should congratulate you on your show not being a disaster." Sheldon replied.

"Thank you. Can I please talk to Lenard?" Jade said, rolling her eyes..

"Is everything all right? I suspect this is the sort of problem that requires a hot beverage." Sheldon replied.

"That would involve giving you my home address. As much as I like you, I'd rather be skinned alive by rusty scissors than tell you where I live. No offense. Now let me talk to Lenard!" Jade said. She smiled for just a second.

"Okay, none taken. Here's Lenard." As Sheldon handed the phone over, Jades smile faltered. She couldn't even enjoy him being offended.

"Hello." Lenard sounded tired.

"Lenard, I need someone to talk to, and my friends are all too close to this." Jade felt the tears welling up again. The pain was fresh, but not the right kind of pain. It was loss, but the love had died a while ago and she knew it was her holding on that was killing her.

"What happened and Sheldon is really sorry." Lenard sounded exhausted.

"It's not him. This time. Beck broke up with me. He..He said that I just didn't love him. I-I could have tried harder. I know I could have. I just feel so lost without him. The world just isn't safe anymore. I need, I don't know. I need Beck to tell me it will be all right." Jade was crying again.

"I'll get Penny." Lenard said.

"NO!" Jades voice was like a shot, piercing the conversation and freezing Lenard in his tracks. "I don't want to talk to Penny. I don't want to talk to anyone else." Jade sounded strong for that moment, but inside she was collapsing. 'It's really over this time. He's not coming back.'

"Then tell me what to do? I don't know how to fix this. Jade, please let me get someone who can help you." Lenard was sounding desperate.

"God, why are guys so useless. Don't you see Lenard, you can't help me. No one can help me. This isn't about helping, or taking away the pain. It's about listening while I rant, you butt cheek. I thought you of all people would understand that sometimes we need to just vent. Bitching and complaining helps us process this chiz so we can think again. So just listen and say what I want you to say, when I want you to say it, and nothing else. Got it?" Jades orders were terrifying to the physicist, unsure how to guess what she wanted him to say. He was reminded that Jade was not like them in one important respect, in school she was the bully. She was used to being intimidating.

"Oh-Okay. Will you tell me if I say the wrong thing?" He asked.

Sighing, "I'll make it easy. If you're making sounds, you're probably saying the wrong thing. Damn it, Lenard. Now I don't feel so bad. I wish you guys would stop with the humor and just let me feel janked for a while. Lord knows I deserve it." Jade was agitated, but that meant she was not sad, for the moment.

"How...How do you deserve it? I know, I shouldn't ask, but maybe, since we're friends, I could, you know, listen?" Lenard was stretching, especially since he hadn't deliberately made any jokes yet. Fear of doing the wrong thing mixed with fear of his would be friend, and the two warred with his desire to be there for her. Compassion won out, as he knew how much it sucked needing emotional support and not have it.

"Beck said it was me. It wasn't him, it was me. That I didn't love him the way he needed me to. I don't get it. I was willing to give him everything, but he wanted my heart, unconditionally. Is that even possible? For people as janked up as us?" Jade was sounding weaker, but Lenard knew she was making an important point. He jumped on it.

"That's kinda my problem with Penny. I'm willing to give her my heart, unconditionally, but she wants conditions on everything. Like she's afraid to admit her feelings. It's fucked up. I don't say a word when she drinks too much, or when she runs into one of her oversized, under brained ex's. I just try to love her, and accept her as is. She even believes in psychics. Can you believe that." Lenard had switched it around. Jade knew she would get him for that, just not how.

"I'm kinda deep into Quantum Physics. We, well they, yea, I guess I do to... We study that chiz. There is evidence... sight". Jade was calmer now. "I guess I see your point. If you can, take the acting workshop with Penny. Sikowitz is one crazy ass teacher, but he knows his stuff. You'll have fun. It's okay that you don't know anything. I know some of the TA's, they'll help you catch up." Jade was disturbed to realize she felt better. "I should let you go. How many of Sheldon's minutes did we use?"

"None. He put you on his friends and family list. It's still not full, and he feels as your mentor, he should be able to call you whenever it warrants." Lenard sounded happier. Jade shuddered at the thought of Sheldon calling her whenever he felt like it.

"Thanks for listening to me rant. You take care now." Jade said. Lenard replied with "Bye" and the call was over.

Step one was finished. Jade had cleared her calls and texts. She checked TheSlap, saw that Beck had already changed their statuses, and read some of the comments. That quickly got old. She was often cast as the villain, and the list of girls willing to help him heal was both long and scanky. Jade decided to see who was home. As she descended the stairs, she could clearly see that it was the Vega's house. 'Boring guest room.' she thought as she reached the bottom of the starcase, only to stop when she saw a familiar face. However, the girl on the couch wasn't a Vega. It was...

"Meredith?" Jade's voice seemed to echo in the quiet home.

Meredith, who had been sitting on the couch doing something on her phone, jumped at the sudden noise. "Jade...Your up. I wasn't sure...They told me you were likely to be in bed all day." She seemed nervous. Meredith suddenly wished she had asked for Hazard pay.

"What. Are. You. Doing. Here?" Jade asked, feeling hurt and a strange sense of betrayal. She was expecting members of the Vega family.

"Church. They're at church. They're Catholic, you see, so they had to, you know, go to church." Meredith sputtered. "They didn't want you to be alone, so they..uh..kinda hired me to watch over you." Her voice was getting softer and jade had to strain to hear the last part the girl said.

"Y-your my what? Babysitter?" Jade gasped. This was too much. Jade leaned against the Piano thinking. 'I'm not some helpless child who needed to be watched over! Except I kinda lost a day to the gloom I've been feeling.' Realizing she had allowed her sense of loss to consume a whole day, and having barely any memories of what she did during that time, Jade started to reconsider her situation. She could storm off, but to where? Her parents didn't seem to care, and the only people who did were at church. Her anger was fading and she wasn't ready to go home yet. Not until she spoke to Trina, and maybe Tori. She was pretty sure she spilled her guts to someone, and knowing who was becoming a priority. As she crossed the last of the distance towards the couch, Jade decided to play along. A smirk crossed her lips.

"Jade, your not going to hurt me, are you?" Meredith asked, backing up a step.

"No. Why would I do that. Are you supposed to make me something to eat eat something?" Jade asked. Meredith nodded yes, and Jade continued, using a little girl voice. "Then make me something and read me a story."

The shorter girl looked at Jade, caught off guard by the change in attitude. "Okay. Breakfast?" Jade nodded and made herself comfortable on one of the couches. As her sitter made her cereal, the goth just let herself be taken care of for a few minutes. 'I'll ask for macaroni and cheese later.' she thought, a smile crossing her face.

Jade just let herself act like a child, with Meredith taking care of her as the morning progressed. The goth had her sitter read her stories, insisting on being shown the pictures. Apparently Meredith did this chiz for spending money, and her Pear Pad had a nice selection of children's books on it. Jade even got a blanket to snuggle in as she was read to. The couple of hours they spent together were surprisingly pleasant. For Jade, that is. Meredith was freaked out by the regression of the most intelligent and violent member of her class. While the activities were familiar, the games took on an air of danger because Jade was stronger than her sitter. Then there was the whole scissor issues. The sitter would normally never let her charges play with scissors, but this was Jade West, and scissors were one of her favorite things. Besides, Meredith wasn't willing to search the girl to find where the goth had hidden the pair everyone knew she had on her at all times. Jade was always armed.

By early afternoon, the games were no longer distracting Jade. She even liked Meredith enough to be done tormenting her, and the sitter was looking for a quick escape. Fortunately, that's when the Vega's returned from church. 'Mama' Vega was the first to enter, followed by Trina and Tori. Officer Vega was the last to enter, probably because he was driving and put the car in the garage.

"Your up" Holy 'Mama' Vega said. Jade smiled and again felt guilty that she was not hurting more. She should not be able to smile.

"Yea. We were just killing time." Jade said, motioning to Meredith and herself. "I just wanted to thank you for taking care of me. I probably should get going."

"Are you sure? We were going to go to the mall and do a little window shopping." David Vega, AKA Officer Vega, said.

Jade noticed Trina paying Meredith, and gave the older Vega sister a confused glare.

"What. I get paid for ¡Divertisimo!, so I have money. And I was the one who suggested getting a sitter, so Tori could go to church. She's gonna need God on her side.." Trina was cut off by her sister.

"We don't want to bore Jade. Thank you Meredith for taking care of her. We'll call you if we need you. Jade, Lets go do something. Maybe you could come with us. The Vega family outing is a visit to a museum. We do cultural stuff like that all the time. Lunch then a museum." Tori babbled.

Even Jade could tell something was off, but just let it go. She wasn't ready to go home yet, so even something cultural sounded good. "Okay, let me get changed and we can go."

"Do you need to borrow some clothes?" Tori asked.

"I have some stuff in my car. I don't always like whats at Becks..." Just like that Jade's mood soured. It was over, and she had lost a safe harbor in the sea of her life.

Jade quickly showered and changed. As she was getting ready, Holly spoke to her through the guest room door. "I just wanted you to know that it's not the end of the world. I'm glad you and Beck can still be friends. It's always been one of my fears that Tori or Trina would be in love with someone who couldn't love them back, no mater how much they wanted too. It would be hard on my girls, and I love them too much to just watch them suffer through something like that. I hope now you and Beck can each find someone who you can truly love."

'It was Holly!' Jade realized she had spilled to Holly. While the statement was not the most comforting thing to hear, it did help, since she understood what was trying to be said. They both needed to be free so that they could give their hearts to someone.

As they piled into the car, Jade noticed Tori texting someone. "Who you talking to?" Jade asked.

"No one." Tori lied. She was getting better at it, but still far from good enough to lie to Jade.

"Beck?" Simple and to the point, Jade called her lie.

"Andre." Tori replied. Silence filled the car for a few minutes until they reached the restaurant. "He says he's hanging with Beck, and they will probably be doing so for the next week. Beck is devastated." Tori stopped, looked embarrassed for a moment as she got out of the car, and then tried to pretend she hadn't said a thing.

Jade frowned but followed. The whole Vega family was moving into a Brunch place, and Jade was not ready to let the conversation go yet.

"If he's so hurt, then why did he let me go?" She asked Tori. The singer just shrugged. She had no idea, or at least no intent to explain. Holly, however, answered.

"He would only get hurt worse if he held on. It's the hard part, realizing when the relationship could be saved, and when to let go. Letting go hurts now, but saves pain down the line." The elder Vega woman was right, and Jade hated that.

Conversation stayed light from that point on through the day. Jade found the Vega family very accommodating, accepting her almost like one of their own. They spent time eating a nice lunch, enjoying their time together. Trina spoke about UCLA and how she was going for a double major, in Psychology and Theater. They all laughed except Jade, who spoke to Trina about learning stand up.

"It's just you could probably do well as a comedian, just be the straight man in your own routine. You understand people, and that's half of humor. Besides, it's kinda like therapy, or so I've heard." Jade seemed determined to help Trina find her niche in show business.

The Vega's listened, insisting that Trina also have a backup plan. They even wanted Tori to have a backup plan, though it wasn't as immanent since they were in negotiations with Neutronium records. Jade felt that Tori needed protection so that the sharks in the industry didn't take advantage of her. Trina agreed.

After lunch, they found an art museum and just wandered. Jade felt accepted, like she belongs, and that worried her. She knew she should be like Beck, hanging on the old memories, mourning the loss of her one true love, but somehow she was doing better. At least around the Vega family. They took their time, and somehow each of them found something in the art to be captivated by. It took effort, since none of them were really into modern art. Still, in the moment, they opened themselves and found something, a picture or a sculpture, that spoke to them, and that felt like it expanded their world. Or maybe they just felt like this chiz got to them because of the tension in the air.

After they finished, they went back to the Vega residence for a nice home made meal. Jade soon came to understand that Holly was an adequate cook with a few specialties. Holly was not great at cooking for others. Dave could heat and brown meats, and like most men felt he was the master of the barbeque. That was a form of cooking, but Jade was the one to kick everyone out of the kitchen and make something out of a need to survive the meal. She could taste this one, and despite keeping it simple, she made a good meal for the family to enjoy as a way of saying "thank you." 'Sure beats actually saying it.' She thought.

Too soon it was time for Jade to head home. She had been feeling good for a few hours and thought she would be fine. She promised to call once she was home, got in her car, and drove off. At first her mind was trying to figure out why the family of someone she tormented would be so accepting of her. She didn't get a chance to figure it out, as other feelings started to emerge.

It was about half way home when it hit her. The once fearless girl felt danger all around her. She knew that if something went wrong, she had no where to run to. Her father may try, but her had never made her feel safe. Her mother was almost as much a victim as she was. Her brother was twelve, and needed protection himself. Jade needed that safe place, even if only in theory, to feel secure in her world. By the time she got home, she was ready to attack anyone who surprised or startled her. Fight or flight was running, and her heart was quietly pounding. The world was a hostile place. She unlocked the front door, only to lock it again as soon as she was inside. Jade grabbed some water from the refrigerator and raced to her room. She locked that door, barred the window, and chose a musical comedy to watch from her DVD collection. For the first time in years, Jade was not in the mood for a horror movie. She lost herself in panic for only a few minutes before the sound of her phone caused her to jump. Her thrown scissors missed her phone by less than an inch, embedding themselves in the wall. She answered feeling both embarrassed and nervous.

"Jade?" the sound of David Vega's voice calmed her instantly. She didn't understand it, but she knew why he had called. She had promised to call when she got home, and had forgotten.

"I'm all right. I just got lost in a memory." She was a very good liar. Still, they talked about nothing for about a minute before letting each other go. Knowing she could call him, that he would be there if she was in danger, drove the paranoia away, and Jade found she could sleep.


	15. Chapter 15: Another day at Caltech

I've been asked what ships I'm aiming at. The story is starting to let me know. Thank you all for the reviews.

:}

By the time Tuesday came, Jade was ready to work, if nothing else than to have something to focus on. She showed up that morning, determined to put in a full day. She intended to make a breakthrough on her own theories, and soon. It would help her career and it would keep her mind off her troubles. Beck was gone, and Jade found she was using Tori's father to help her feel safe enough to stand on her own. It was disturbing, feeling vulnerable every time she left her house. She was a Black Belt, and yet felt so afraid. Still, Jade was sure it would get better. The worst part was it showed how much she depended on Beck to feel safe. Losing him had hurt her confidence at a time when the twelve year old Jade was emerging; hurt, scared, and damaged. Jade had to heal that on her own. That is if her friends would let her.

Work had it's own brand of crazy going on. Doctor Kripke and Doctor Cooper had a long standing rivalry that was held in check more by their inability to actually do anything to each other than by Caltech's rules. Their status was best described as frenimy. The shared a social group but didn't get along, since both were self centered and arrogant. Jade had made a decision to avoid being a pawn in that conflict, and after Barry Kripke succeeded in gaining her respect, she decided the best course of action was to be friendly to both sides. 'Well, as friendly as I get.' she thought. She knew if she decided, she could make this a three way conflict that would leave the department battered and scarred.

Ignoring the ongoing feud, Jade quickly found that she had to respect each persons workspace, including her other would be friends. Apparently she couldn't just barge in on Lenard or Howard, since they had their own work to do. Still, a couple of dynamics were developing. The interactions she was having with her coworkers would effect how she enjoyed her time at Caltech.

She and Howard had quickly created a game where they would say something to each other in a different language each time they saw each other. Jade eliminated Klingon early with a few well placed threats. Howard eliminated Sioux by complaining that he should be allowed to use Klingon if she could use an equally obscure language. Otherwise they each spoke enough languages to usually figure out anything the other said. The only other rule was keep it clean, since Howard wanted to return to Bernadette relatively whole. 'Promising to make him relive his _circumcision_ was probably not my best threat' Jade thought. 'Boys...Men can be so sensitive about that area.' The thought caused her to smile.

Despite everything she was doing to distract herself, Jade was getting agitated as lunch approached. To ease her tension, she called a graduate student she knew from UCLA to come have lunch with her. He was a friend who was studying to be a therapist, and she was suddenly interested in learning more. While he could not personally be her therapist (Conflict of interests, he was already her friend) he did recommend some people who she could talk to. She promised to look into it, then asked about his research. He was studying the limits of Hypnotherapy. While fairly limited in what it could do to treat mental illness, it had areas where it's applications were extremely useful. Jade decided on an experiment. She then called Raj.

Jade and her friend looked at Raj's problems talking to women, noting that he could talk to his female relatives and to women in general if he even thought he was drunk. Then as an experiment and to prove a theory, she had her friend put Raj under. He was then given a suggestion straight to his subconscious to regard Jade as 'Like a sister'. At the time it looked like a harmless enough bit of amusement. The whole thing took less than half an hour, and by one thirty she was off to her next project. Jade was looking for the classrooms she would be using to teach her classes. The classes would start next week, and like a good actress she wanted to walk her stage first.

She got a call fro Raj, checking in on how she was doing. They talked for a short bit, but the real test would be a face to face conversation. Jade decided to drop by his office towards the end of her day. She then called Tori to see how she was doing. Tori was visiting Beck, so the call was quick. Both were doing Okay, but Beck was a wreck. He was moping around, and they were just helping out. Someone had recommended helping him clean his trailer, and that was the mornings activity. Based on the condition it was in and Becks mindset, she was hoping to be done by evening. It was clear that Beck was hurting. Jade felt guilty. 'He could have stayed with me.' She was sure he was worse off then her because he was right, he was the one who loved more.

Raj was waiting for her at her office, and she regretted her experiment almost instantly. Jade West was now the only female in LA he could talk to sober. He would just not stop talking. He talked about his problems with his rich parents back in India. He complained about haw hard it was to find someone when the only way to talk to them was to get hammered. He talked about the frustrations he had dating different types of damaged girls, and how he must be the least attractive man many of them ever met. He especially complained about how pathetic he felt because Howard, who came across so much worse to women, was now married and he was the odd man out. His rant about how even Sheldon had a girlfriend was particularly bothersome. Jade decided to give his number to both Robbie and Sinjin. 'Let the losers have a support group.' Then it got worse. While talking about the troubles he's had with his sisters dating, Raj became hyper concerned with Jade's breakup. It was bad enough that he sucked at comforting her. Always managing to say the wrong things was almost like a curse for a man who honestly cared. But the worst part was that he seemed intent on making sure her next relationship was up to his standards. Two second after he told her he wanted to personally approve of each of her would be suitors he was physically thrown from her office. Jade was worried that even that extreme act seemed to fit in with his family. She banned him from her space until he learned boundaries. Still, she didn't even think of ending the hypnotic suggestion. She found she liked him more with her being able to hold a conversation with him.

By that point it was after three and Jade decided to make the rounds. Howard was busy with whatever project NASA had for him. She just spoke with him quickly and moved on. Sheldon was letting her be for now, so she decided to avoid him. She liked it with him giving her space. She decided to check on Lenard. He was her favorite, since he was both the most normal and the one with the balls to talk to her when she was crabby. Plus she just liked the little guy.

As she was walking over, Raj called to check on her. He told her he just wanted to make sure she knew she had someone to talk to. He then promised to be there for her. Jade was really beginning to regret helping him, and wondered what women in her life she hated enough to add to his list of girls he could talk to sober.

She dropped by Lenard's lab and found him setting up for one of his experiments. Surprisingly Sinjin was there as well.

"Hi Jade, you look pretty." Sinjin said, alerting everyone that she had arrived.

"What's he doing here?" Jade demanded.

"Summer internship. I'm sharing him with Howard. The boy can run wires like a pro, he can do basic fabrication, and helps us with a lot of our setup work. He's really useful to have around." Lenard was almost gushing. Jade didn't have the time to marvel at the nerd bromance.

"So Jade. Now that we both work here, I was wondering if maybe.." Sinjin was cut off.

"NO!" Jade was loud, clear, and the lanky youth almost wet himself. "Wait, why aren't you helping out with the summer plays?"

"He does plays? What does he do? Acting? Maybe he knows some directors?" Penny was in the room, lost in thought, and Jade hadn't noticed.

"I am. I can do both. I give each project a couple of day. I also hang out with the guys. Burf and I are going to the races this Saturday with Beck." Sinjin replied to Jade. His mentioning Beck should have hurt more, but all Jade felt was happy that Beck had such good friends.

"I'm glad he has you. Sinjin, be nice to him and I'll tell you how to meet a lot of pretty girls. They are a bit skanky, but that's okay." She was smiling. Then she turned to Penny. "Sinjin is the master of the back stage technical stuff. Only Robbie is better at Tech theater, and no one runs the boards like him. Oh and Penny, what the chiz are you doing here?" Her voice raised towards the end.

"I invited her. I wanted her to meet Sinjin, and I thought you might like having a girlfriend to hand out with." Lenard's word choice hit Jade strangely.

'Girlfriend? Do I want a girlfriend? Wait, he meant a friend who is a girl. But..' Jade pushed the thoughts from her mind. She had some damage to do. "That's nice, but I'm not sharing my troubles with your groupie. No offense Penny, but I have a lot of female friends looking to comfort me. I came here to get lost in the science, and in that area you are functionally a..ah.." Jade hesitated to find the words.

"Blond Monkey?" Penny asked, still stinging from when Sheldon had called her that.

"No, monkeys are useful to have around. But I like the thought. A gerbil maybe? Doesn't matter. The point is, I appreciate the concern, but Lenard needs to man up and accept that if I want his help, he can't farm me off to someone else." Jade would have continued, but the sound of breaking glass stopped her. Holding up a finger to ask for a second, she reached for her phone, looked at the caller ID, and groaned. Then she answered the phone. "Raj, I'm doing fine, please don't call me every twenty minutes to ask." Jade then hung up.

"Raj is sure concerned. I guess he...wait a moment. He's talking to you?" Penny did a double take. Raj often had trouble talking to a female on the phone, so face to face was out of the question. It was also unlikely he was drunk at work, so naturally she was confused.

"I found a way to get past his blocks, but now I can't undo it. That boy needs to learn to shut the chiz up before I jank him up." Jade sounded frustrated. She did know how, potentially, but wasn't going to tell anyone.

"Look, Jade, I was wondering, hows that play you were working on? I mean, I know you've had a lot going on, but the sooner we get a final draft, the sooner we can get it cast and start rehearsals. The producer I know is very interested in getting started and I'm hoping that maybe a small lead roll would fit me?" Penny was usually more subtle, but today she was facing a potentially heartbroken Jade. Best to be direct in case the girl was just writing his name over and over again.

"It's coming along, and I don't know if your good enough for the lead. I know a lot of actresses. I have worked with some good ones in the past, and I'm positive I'll find a cast I can trust. When we do auditions, I'll see if there are any parts you fit. Do you do furniture?" Jade smirked at Penny.

"Just trying to help." Penny replied, stinging a little. Jade was just a girl, with maybe an inch in height and a years of unarmed combat training on her, but Penny didn't want to push the potentially volatile girl. Penny looked into her eyes, saw the lingering hurt, as well as the way the lanky boy was silently screaming for her to run for her life, and decided to let the issue rest for now. Later she would impress this girl and get the part.

Lenard spoke up. "So Jade, I was wondering if maybe you'd like to hang out with the guys again. I can send you our schedule and see what interests you. No pressure, it's just we really like you as a friend and we want you to feel like part of the group. Or we could see what you might want to do with individual members. Maybe Penny.." A glare from Jade and a look from Sinjin told the physicist that that was not a good subject."Not penny, but the girls hang out a lot. What do you girls do when you hang out?" Lenard was babbling, but with good intentions.

"We usually just have a few drinks and talk about stuff. You know, girl stuff." Penny said.

"My period will probably start in another week and a half. Girly enough for you." Jade deadpanned.

Both Lenard and Penny looked shocked. That was hardly the sort of thing they ever expected to hear in this lab. Sinjin checked his phone.

"Twelve days if you stay with your usual schedule." Sinjin's statement had an immediate effect on everyone, but outraged Jade, and he quickly realized it was time to run. His rapid escape took him past Alex, who seemed nervous for some reason, and past Sheldon's office.

Jade's pursuit of her sometimes stalked was almost cut short by Alex. "Doctor Cooper would like to see you" the assistant screamed as Jade tore past her at a dead run. Jade stopped when she realized that Sinjin had his escape planned and could have hidden in any of the offices. She entered the one she believed the young man would probably think Jade would not willingly enter, and found herself looking at Sheldon.

"Jade, nice of you to join me." Sheldon said, a smile on his face.

"Where is he. Where is that mop headed freak. I'm gonna kill him." she screamed.

"I'm afraid I'm alone here, unless you count Doctor Amy Farrah Fowler here on video chat. Is there something wrong?" He asked.

"That creepy little loser's been spying on me again. I thought he'd stopped, but he's still doing it." Jade was pacing, noticeably upset.

"Oh my. I assume you saw Doctor Kripke peeking into the ladies room, presumably using some sort of camera?" Sheldon guessed.

"Wrong creepy loser. Sinjin's been spying on me. Wait, he does that?" Jade continued pacing around, looking to figure out where her prey was.

Sheldon turned his computer so Amy could look into the room. "I was just assuming. Sinjin? Really Jade, how could he have placed a camera in the ladies room? He's only been here a couple of days." His comment didn't help.

"He knows my menstrual cycle. How janked up is that. Now he's gonna get janked up." Jade was fuming, angry enough to share when she normally wouldn't.

"He may just notice other things associated with your cycle. You said he used to spy on you? Maybe he noted behavior that came with the cycle and just tracked that?" Amy offered. "I'll admit, it is creepy, but it doesn't require direct spying." before Jade could answer, Sheldon showed his usual tack and started on another topic.

"Jade, I hate to interrupt your planed homicide, but I need to talk to you about something important. Amy and I have been discussing your predicament and feel they you should have greater interaction with a more productive and positive social group. To help facilitate this, we're willing to allow you back into ours. I will email you our usual schedule, and you can join us maybe once or twice a week." Sheldon's usual mix of compassion and arrogance was on full display.

"Why is everyone so intent on me hanging out with you losers? I'm not gonna drag your groups cool factor up." Jade said feeling very on edge. Her frustration at life, her feelings of unease were mixing with her anger.

"We just feel you need more positive role models to best develop you intellectual gifts." Amy said.

"I've been talking with Lenard's mother about your possible problems. She thinks you were coddled too much as a child. I tend to agree." Jades eyes would have left deep wounds if they could. "She wasn't too helpful on how to help you now, claiming she would need to see you professionally and she does not see clients. My mother, who's usual response would be to pray, suggested that you needed a supporting social environment. Some place where you would not be judged." Sheldon finished and Jade just started to lose it. The unintended implications hit hard, and she had been through too much today. She felt violated, vulnerable, and above all angry. The sound of her phone, a call she knew was from Raj, was the last straw. She bolted from the office towards her own. Once there she closed the door, sank to the floor and started to cry. It was too much at once. She fumbled with her phone, calling the one person she could trust to make it right.

"Tori, Oh god Tori, It's just too much. Sinjin knows my menstrual cycle and that Penny girl wants me to write her a play so she can get the lead and god why wont Raj just shut the fuck up. They care, I think, because they all want me to hang out with them on one of their nerd pursuit days and I just can't handle it and Sinjin knows my fucking menstrual cycle." Jade was crying, unsure if she just left a message or if she was speaking to Tori. She didn't even know if she hung up. She sat on the floor in her office for a while until there was a knock on her door.

"Go away Lenard." She shouted, voice cracking.

"Jade, It's Raj. I was just checking to see if you were all right? I know your not, because if you were you wouldn't be crying in your office. You don't have to tell me what's wrong, but please let me in. I think you need a hug."

Jade sat on the floor, feeling overwhelmed for another few minutes, not able to answer. Then she just stopped. Something shifted, the tears were done, and she was feeling stronger. Letting the emotions out had given her the chance to just work through a little of her issues. She had somehow made it through the overflow of emotions, and while she still had a ways to go, she was ready to tackle a few issues.

"Raj, can I take a rain check on that hug? I need to take care of something." Jade shouted through the door. Then she made herself a cup of coffee, and calmly texted Sinjin.

Jade(To Sinjin): If you don't want me to hunt you down like a dog, you will tell me how you knew my menstrual cycle. I still might kill you, but it's your only hope. Call me.

Moments later, she got her call. "Sinjin, I'm not yelling. I'm plotting your disappearance, but not yelling. If you don't want to become a part of shadow creek park, tell me how did you know my monthly cycle?"

"When you're on it you're nicer to everybody, and you tend to be easier to deal with one day out of every twenty eight or so. I then checked you trash to confirm my theory. From there it was just tracking your moods and calculating the days. I'm sorry. I just wanted to know more about you. I would never touch you unless you wanted me to. Do you want me to?" He actually sounded hopeful at the end.

"If we're going to both be working at Caltech this summer, you'd best remember I don't want to date you. Be Becks friend, and maybe I'll forgive you, but give me some space or it will end badly for you. Very badly." Jade growled. She then let the boy go.

After the call, Jade decided to see if she could still get that hug from Raj. If he was going to be like the brother the entire family is embarrassed to admit is related to them, then she was going to get used to being treated like a sister. That meant the occasional hug, and god could she use a hug. 'I just hope I'm not telling stories like Cat.' As she opened the door, there was Tori, preparing to knock. The singer quickly smiled, looking ready to help in any way possible. Jade pulled her into the office.

"Tori, thank you for coming, but I'm actually doing better. It was just overload. In a strange way Sinjin helped me. Overcoming the feelings of violation from knowing how much he knew about me helped me deal with some of my feelings of helplessness. I'm better, really better." Jade smiled at the Latina, and for the first time consciously noticed how pretty she was. A thought from earlier returned. 'Do I need a girlfriend? Or a Girlfriend?' Jade allowed the thought to linger several long seconds, then pushed it away. "come on, I'm owed a hug from Raj, and I mean to collect."

"You're willingly letting someone hug you?" Tori asked.

"Yep. Special situation. It's a long story. Anyways I'm probably going to start doing things with these losers. Not much, just enough to be friends. You wanna be my plus one on Pizza night? Wait, Penny will be there." Jade was happy. She could not explain it, but she was happy. 'Maybe later, Tori can reject me. As long as we can still be friend. Or start being friend'. In Jades thoughts she admitted she was attracted to Tori, and was all right with it. 'Just give myself some time. Tori does not deserve to be a rebound.' Jade didn't have the energy to worry about her thoughts, so she let them run free for a bit.

It would be around bed time when it hit her. 'I'm attracted to Tori! That why she always felt like a threat!' The thought caused Jade to laugh, and then she called Raj. She needed advice, and he was as close to gay as one of her friends got. At least one she would talk to about this. Somehow he was not happy with that statement, or with the late hour of the call, but they still talked about it for half an hour before she went to bed. She gave him the customary threat to tell no one and thanked him for listening, then hung up. She was beginning to like this Raj.

David Vega was surprised and relieved to not get a call from Jade, but made a note to check up on her just to be sure. He knew she was far from done with his family, and wanted a good relationship.

:}

I hope you've enjoyed this chapter. I was surprised about the nature of Raj and Jade's friendship. It will be interesting to see where this goes.


	16. Chapter 16: setting her life in order

There will be more of the Big Bang people in the next chapter. This one is just getting things moving. I needed to square things away for Beck and Jade.

:}

Jade spent the rest of the week, her precious week off, keeping herself busy. She put in mornings at work to get used to the schedule she would have once she was teaching. She decided to partake in video game Wednesdays (Used to be Halo, but games evolve, and it could all be done on line so she didn't have to be near them to do it.) Jade also agreed to sometimes participate in Pizza night. She got through the week on her own. She was still shaky, and often reactionary, but she was getting stronger. The overload of Tuesday had helped her get past the fears and violation she had felt, at least partially, and to get some work done. She even got the first draft of her play to the producer. Jade felt good about that.

Her work friends were still trying to support her in any way they could. Raj called her daily to check up on her, and both Lenard and Howard made excuses to drop by her office hours. Sheldon even showed some concern, but it was hard to tell because he is so bad at it. Jade took it all in strides. Only Barry Kripke's offer to take her to this "Great buffet" he knew about was refused. She wasn't afraid, since she knew she could take him, but suspected he was just trying to show he cared. She accepted the intent but not the offer.

By the second week, she was ready to visit Beck. As much as she hated it, she needed to recover her stuff that was at his RV. Also, if they were to be friends, they would need to interact. They needed closure. She chose to do it Wednesday because of her teaching on Monday and Office hours on Tuesday would eat up so much of those days. She just had to survive until then.

Teaching class was far different than she had imagined. Her morning class, the one she taught every weekday, was full of undergraduates who had no idea who she was when she walked in. When she tried to talk Physics with them, to gauge where they were before lecturing, they either seemed lost or hit on her. 'Now I see why Sheldon calls them Labradoodles'. She had to accept that the general stupidity she was used to from the unscientific masses might just be the way everyone else worked, and that her and her colleagues might be different. She liked that thought. However, the class still would not believe this pretty teenage girl could be their professor. Despite dressing as professionally as she could, she was still 16. 'Almost 17'. She hated that she had to explain to them that SHE was the teacher, she had her PhD, and she knew far more than any of them about the subject. 'And possibly everything else, stupid wazbags.' After about half an hour, she had one of the other teaching faculty come by and vouch for her. That was what finally convinced the class that she was Doctor West, and they quickly realized that the pissed off girl was probably going to make this class a killer. Jade was a vengeful girl, and something in the glare the students drew from her let the forty odd students know she was going to make them respect her.

Her first lecture was quick and covered the material more fully than many of them would even need. She used her acting training to speak clearly despite lecturing at a fast pace, and her voice covered the room understandably without sounding like she was yelling. They took pages of notes, struggling to keep up. She was determined to make up the time it took to convince them she was the professor. She just refused to do anything at less than her best. Her glare and stance let the lecherous boys know she was off limits. Partially because of her frustration, Jade explained the class material as if it was basic, and showed a disdain for those who didn't get it. As an olive branch, she did tell them she was willing to help those who didn't understand, but made it clear she expected them to try and not waist her time if they were unwilling to learn. With her attitude and knowledge she terrified her class on the first day. Her reputation would not help those feelings.

Her lecture series was different, and far easier. With the exception of Sheldon, who tried twice to correct her (Her glare eventually got through to him), the class was just graduate students and faculty there to learn what was on the cutting edge of Physics. It went pleasantly enough, and Jade was sure she would enjoy this class. She did note, however, that the lecture series had no set class list, so anyone who wanted could show up any given class. It also meant no homework to correct, she just needed to stay current. Jade felt she could do that.

On Tuesday her morning class had figured out that the "dragon lady of the physics department" was not playing around, and so the class went better. Some of them had taken the time to ask around about her, and while they were happy to know how respected she was as a researcher, they were worried by her growing reputation for retaliation. She covered a lot of ground again in class that day. She also let them know was setting up a web page where they could both view the class again (Thank you Hollywood arts, a video camera, and especially Sinjin) as well as download her basic notes on each class. Jade didn't want to be bothered too often, and this would ward off those who might have missed something during the lectures. At the request of her class, the department gave her a graduate student named Kevin Miller as a teaching assistant. (He refused to get her coffee or run her errands. He was to help with the class ONLY.) She wasn't too impressed with him or his research, but decided in the end that he was a godsend. Now she could assign homework and have HIM correct it. She would have to go over a sample to make sure he was doing it right, but it would save her a lot of work. He could also run a couple of sections to help the students better understand the material. During her office hours she was visited by a few students, but their fear her drove most of them to contact Kevin instead. Jade liked that, and was able to get some work done while there. However, Kevin did call her a couple of times to get answers for things he wasn't sure of for the students. He just didn't know the material like she did. 'Another Labradoodle.'

Jade made a point of calling Mr. Vega as she left work after her office hours, every Tuesday and Thursday evenings. He wanted to make sure she was safe. Jade didn't think much about it. 'I'm the friend of one of his kids, and I stayed with them after the breakup. He's just following his instincts. He is a Cop.' It was comforting, but strange. Jade didn't even call her mother unless she was spending the night somewhere, and that was a courtesy. Calling David Vega was something she enjoyed more than it was a duty.

By Wednesday the class was starting to learn the material as well as her teaching style, and things were falling into a pattern. They'd figured out that if she was going to post the basic notes on line, then they didn't need to take so many, and were able to listen and ask questions during the long class time. Jade liked the new dynamic. Between Kevin and the respect her morning class was giving her, everything felt like it was being taken care of. She was growing comfortable in the roll of professor. 'Might do this again next summer, if I get the same deal, and an assistant to get me coffee.'

After School, she was ready to move on with her life. She stopped at home briefly to change into something comfortable before going to Becks. She was going to get her stuff and salvage her friendship. She then stopped by the Vega household to pick up Tori, who was accompanying her on this venture. The rest of the gang would be there when she showed up. At the Vega household she had to spend the few minute required exchanging pleasantries with Tori's family. It was developing into a weird dynamic, and it felt like they were all but adopting her. David and Holly both insisted on being referred to by their first names. It both comforted Jade and freaked her out.

The drive to Becks was only a few minutes, but Jade didn't rush it like she usually would. Tori was a calming force on her life, and Jade liked spending time with just her. She chose to ignore the feeling she was having around Tori in favor of having someone around she felt she could really talk to. She and Tori were talking on way, and she needed to admit something new to her sorta friends.

"I'm seeing a therapist" Jade just dropped that piece of information out of nowhere, and Tori just nodded.

"About time." The singer looked at Jade, then added "I mean you've been dealing with this for years, right?" Tori was sounding nervous.

"No you didn't. You've always thought I needed help. Admit it." Jade accused.

"No. Never. It's just, well, you don't like being happy. How does someone hate being happy? I want you to be happy. How can I make you happy?" Tori noticed the smirk on Jades face. "I'll shut up now."

"It's okay. I get it. You want to be my friend, and so you care. It's just, I feel like I'm not good enough. I should be good enough, but I can't do this on my own. One little nervous breakdown and I go running to a shrink." Jade was being open, and Tori noticed it was happening more often now. Jade was still the volatile, dangerous girl she had always been, but now she could be nice, or at lease open, to the people she trusted.

Speaking of trust, "So how's therapy? I mean, it's been what, one session, so you need to build trust, but do you like it." Tori was feeling stupid. She just didn't know how to ask what she wanted to know.

"It's going good. I like the lady I'm seeing. I chose someone recommended by the staff at UCLA. They say she's used to working with people who've been through the kind of chiz I have. And my health plan covers a surprising number of visits with my shrink. I didn't want to ask why. Anyway, I'll be seeing her every Tuesday from twelve thirty until one thirty. We did have a rocky start, but we recovered." Jade voice sounded like she was just making conversation despite the personal nature of the subject.

"Rocky? What, did she try to take away your scissors?" Tori smiled, hoping the Joke would ease the strange tension they had developed recently. Neither could identify it, but it had started last Wednesday when she went to Caltech to help Jade. It was the elephant in the room, something both were aware of but neither would mention and both were convinced that the other was unaware of. They were equally oblivious to the fact that they subconsciously wanted the tension. No lame joke would end it.

"Don't even joke about that, Vega!" Jade snapped. Then, the anger just melted from the Goth's face. "During the intake phone call, where we talked about what I need and shit, I told her my problem. You'd think saying 'I was raped about four years ago, never told anyone, and now I need you to fix me' would have been something she was used to."

Tori almost did a spit take, until she realized she wasn't drinking anything. Jade was good at using situations to make people feel uncomfortable. The admission was probably to gain an advantage in their interactions. The singer realized the therapy was going to be a power struggle as the actress opened up about her problems. Still, it sounded like the process would work. "I'm just glad you have someone to talk to." Tori finally managed to get out.

"Yeah. The first session was interesting. I wanted this chiz done as soon as possible and she just wanted to talk. Kept telling me that this chiz takes time. I'm not that patient. It's wazzing me off that I'm sometimes afraid that something might happen, like the guy who raped me will just pop out of nowhere and do it again. I feel weak and I don't do weak." A few seconds passed as they let the statement sink in. "And Tori, don't tell anyone about my getting help, okay. I don't want them in my chiz." Jade was unusually talkative today. She didn't comment on Jade not threatening her to stay quiet. Tori chalked it all up to the tension between them.

Jade hadn't allowed herself to notice the change in their dynamic. She focused on the various projects she was working on, not allowing her mind to go back to Tori. The singer was slowly becoming a fixture in her thoughts, or rather always was and now Jade didn't seek revenge for it. She could not allow herself to focus on that until she fixed herself.

"Sure" was Tori's reply. They were almost at Beck's and she didn't see a reason to let anyone in on Jades business. Besides, being Jades confidant made her feel special. She briefly wondered if this was what it felt like for Beck. Then she remembered the favor Beck had asked for, and got nervous. It was almost July, and in only a few weeks it would be Jades birthday. Tori had to decide if she could go through with it before that day.

When the pair got there, the gang was already boxing up Jade's stuff. Jade would only need to do a quick walk-through to confirm that all her stuff was packed. She motioned for Tori to start loading her stuff in her car, and went into the trailer with Beck. It was time to talk.

"So how've you been?" Jade opened.

"I've been better. You?" Beck replied calmly.

"Healing. I want to apologize. I know this has been murder on you, and I wish there was something I could do to make it easier on you. If I was nicer, would it of helped? If I was a complete grunch, would it of made it easier?" Taking a step closer "I just don't want to see you in pain." Jade said softly. She still cared for him, but more like a brother than a lover, and that was the problem.

"Jade, I never could hate you. I don't think I want to. Look, it's going to be hard on me for a while, but I'll get over it. I realized that even if you'd loved me back, we just don't fit. I somehow needed to feel like we were close to equals, and it's hard for me to compete with everything you are. And it's not just me. In our relationship, you always seemed to need to be the center of attention. I would often feel like I was just a distraction from that, or that I just couldn't give you the star treatment you seemed to think you deserved. I understand why now, but the damage's been done. I love you, and I always will. I just understand that if I let you keep my heart, it would just get mangled. I know what you need, and it's not me." Beck said with a shaky but steady voice.

Jade almost jumped on something he said, but the need to keep him in her life was strong today. Instead she decided to do what the supposedly came in for and search through Becks trailer to make sure she had everything. She saw a couple of things that were "Theirs" but decided that nothing was worth arguing about. If it was something she wanted, she already had it. The only argument was silent, when Jade saw one of her bra's hided in the mini-frig. 'Is that the bra I lost from the first time we fucked? My god, he kept it. He swore it wasn't in his trailer. Probably hid it in his parents home.' Jade glared at Beck. For several seconds, they exchanged looks, and then she relented. He could keep that one souvenir. After all, it had been years since she wore it. Finally, with a quick breath, she decided to address something that had been bugging her. Not the big issue, just one that she felt needed to be said.

"Beck, I am sorry I couldn't love you the way you wanted me to. I want to be friends, but understand if that's not something you're ready for. I do need you in my life. It's just, you've become like a brother to me. I love you, but I don't want to be with you. It's just my life would suck if you weren't in it." Jade said. She hesitated for a second, almost holding her breath.

"Oh my god! You just quoted Kelly Clarkson!" he said, his voice stronger and his surprise evident.

"No I didn't" She defended.

"Yes you did. Want me to look is up on Pear Tunes?" Beck said, reaching for his phone and feeling a lot better now. He didn't know it, but teasing Jade would be a test. If he could do it as a friend, then they would be all right.

"The song is 'My life would suck without you'" Jade said.

"And YOU would know the exact name of the song. Probably all the lyrics, too. Admit it, you listen to Kelly Clarkson. I knew you watched that chiz" He was laughing now. Jade looked embarrassed, but also confused. She didn't know quite what to do. She decided to slap his arm. "Help, EX abuse. Jade's abusing me." He shouted playfully. Jade started chuckling. His antics were funnier than just his words. He was overacting worse than Trina, like each blow was a haymaker. Soon they were both laughing. This was the Beck she loved. Old feelings came forth, and the closeness they had shared for so long resurfaced in her heart. It was like before she let her world come between them. They fell on his couch as they continued to giggle helplessly.

Jade noticed that they had enjoyed the moment, fell on the couch but were not tangled together in some desperate embrace. That was when she knew that her and Beck would be Okay. They could be close, having moments and sharing the good times, and just be friends. The only test left would be the a tragedy, or otherwise how they respond to the bad times. Jade had no desire to try that test. She honestly wanted happiness for them both for the foreseeable future. However, a question from earlier had stuck in the back of her mind, and that question was determined to be remembered. He had said he knew what she needed, and she wondered what he meant by that. 'God, I'm becoming worse than Cat.' she thought. As the two exited his trailer, she wondered if now was the time to ask. She decided to ask a different question.

"You gonna be alright?" She asked.

"Yep. I'm slowly bouncing back. It still hurts sometimes, but I need you to know I will never abandon you. You're not alone. Besides I got two apologies from Jade West, who never apologizes, so I feel like I'm ahead." His quick smile lead to a slightly more serious tone of voice. "I get how hard this is for you, but it's working. You're changing for the better." He stopped for a second, looked around, saw their friends near her car, and quickly continued in a soft voice. "Hey, lets make a deal, okay. We will both do all we can to heal and find love again as soon as possible." He smiled at her, that smile the girls all loved, then continued. "Oh I know, how about we agree to annoy each other by helping out if we see a chance. Like say I see a hot, Masochistic Emo, I'll send them your way. If you see some girl I would like, make introductions. Deal?" His smile seemed to grow, and Jade suspected he already had someone in mind. As much as she hated letting anyone mess with her life, she knew she could use this against him as well. He may not like her pick, but she would make him happy, after an adjustment period. With that Jade smiled her evil grin.

"Deal." The two shook hands, each planning on invoking this little treaty sooner than the other was ready. Both knew that they had agreed to let their EX, of all people, set them up. Jade thought she was safer, since few guys would be willing to date her without some guarantee of protection. She just needed a little time to prepare her choice. 'And then she will make him very happy.' Jade didn't know why that thought made her feel so good.

:}

I hope Jade is right. Then again, I know who she's setting him up with. Do you?


	17. Chapter 17: Realizations and plans

Despite Jades need to get plotting, her other commitments kept her from any clandestine meetings until the next week. Jade's other commitments included more than her research and the classes she taught. Maintaining her two groups of friends was going to have it's own challenges. Some things could be faked, like on line gaming while watching the rehearsal of a play a couple of her friends were in. Others were harder, like participating in the weekly departmental paintball match instead of going to the beach with the gang. Jade was also upset to find out that Penny was better at it than she was. Jade hadn't had a lot of practice with guns, and it was taking her a while to learn the whole aiming at moving targets tricks that an experienced person did almost instinctively. Penny seemed to love that she was the better shot. Jade was quickly proving to be the second best paintball player on her team, and between the two girls they represented the entire offense for the physics department. One of her problems in a fast paced live action shooter like paintball was that she tended to think things through, calculating each shot. Penny, like many paintball players, just blazed away until she got her target. However, thanks to her ability to calculate the variables, there was one area where Jade excelled. Jade was a far better sniper than Penny. Towards the end of the contest, as she was able to factor in all the environmental conditions including cover, range and drop of projectile, Jade started making shots at distances not normally tried in paintball. She even got one guy through moderate concealment with what turned out to be the game winning shot. At the end of play, however, Penny had more kills and would not let anyone for get it. It was the first victory the physics department had yet achieved in paintball, but Jade just couldn't celebrate.

After that, Jade felt a desperate need for some teen time, so she rushed to the beach as soon as the game was over. She hoped to join her friends and spend the rest of the day lounging around the beach. While there she fully expected to be hit on by at least half a dozen people, and while she hated being hit on, her confidence could use the boost. Jade stopped at Cats place on rout to see if the redhead was there, and found that Cat and Sam were late because Sam didn't get up early on weekends. There was also apparently a babysitting mishap, so they had gone to bed exhausted. Jade had figured out a while ago that she didn't like hanging out with Sam too often, probably because they were similar personalities. The differences, not counting Jades intelligence, were mostly background and work ethic. Sam was more criminal while Jade was more rebellious. Jade liked to work hard for what she wanted, while Same was content to scam her way through life. Jade was strong, but in normal proportions, while Sam was freaky strong. Sam was street smart and a street fighter, while Jade was creative and trained, relying on leverage and speed as well as power. Sam's weapon was the Butter sock, while Jades were her scissors. The minor differences in personality made them both uncomfortable. They usually played the same roll in the group they were in.

Today it was worse. While waiting for the two roommates to finish getting ready for the beach, Jade noticed that she was checking Sam out. 'I guess I never noticed Cat because that would be too much like child abuse.' Jade's thoughts on Sam were far dirtier. Bust size and hip were calculated with disturbing ease. It was pure physical attraction, let go of easily, but the thoughts disturbed Jade. On the short drive over, Jade noticed she was checking out some boys as well, and that just made her feel worse. 'God, I'm like a dirty, filthy minded...Boy.' Jade had to admit it was scary being attracted to both genders. She was not used to feeling this way. 'Except that time with Beck, and the one with Moose, and the time I saw Tori in that outfit, and the time I realized I could probably talk Meredith into anything. Tori in spandex...' Jade forced her thoughts away from the diddly-bops, and onto the road.

Venice, Ca was Almost squarish, longer than wide so it was possible to be a mile from the beach and still in that part of LA. Cat and Sam lived within half a mile of the beach, but that meant a drive through city streets of over ten blocks. From their, it was driving along the almost mile long Venice beach section of coast until they found where their friends had parked. When she saw Becks RV, she stifled a laugh and thought 'He has got to stop parking there.' Once again his truck was next to a huge RV that blocked the door to the trailer. Jade quickly found a parking space and went into action as Cat ran off to take a waz and Sam, who had followed on her Motorcycle, found another parking place. Jade thought for a second about her options. Beck would have his set of keys in his pocket, so she would have to find the spare hidden under the rear bumper. While she had no desire to stick her hand under there and feel along the dirty rear end of the truck, the thought of how much she could mess with them all overrode needing to wash her hands, and she bent down to feel for the box the key was in. Jade quickly retrieved the key, pulled the trailer out, and parked in a different spot where there was no chance of being blocked in. They didn't face the beach, but it was a small price to pay. Immediately the door flew open and the gang, including Trina, pored out. They were not as sweaty as the last time, but still by best estimations had been stuck in the trailer for over two hours.

Jade could not let this go without a comment. "Okay Beck, a couple of things. First, never ever park like that again. Make sure no one can block you in. I'm convinced it's the same guy, and it was deliberate. Second, why didn't you install batteries, maybe solar panels, like I suggested? Then you could run the air conditioner while you waited. I bet I could get Howard to design it for you, maybe instal it to. Third, Did anyone's cell phone work this time? My god people, learn from our mistakes." The five teens looked down, embarrassed. A sixth person made themselves known.

"You mean this has happened before?" Meredith asked. Jade had to admit she looked good in her swimsuit. Just not as good as Tori.

"What are you doing here?" Jade asked, showing no patience or tact.

"It's not what you think." Beck said

"I invited her." Andre added.

"You invited her?" Jade looked through the musician. He nodded feebly, reminded that Jade was scary as chiz. "Okay." Turning to the others. "If you're ready, lets hit the beach. Beck and I will buy us some lunch while the rest of you find us a spot. Cat, you and Sam make sure no one hits on Meredith. She's with Andre." Jade started walking towards the near by convenience store. Beck snapped out of his surprise and followed, while the others stared for a few seconds.

"What just happened?" Andre asked, not noticing that Cat was now beside him, keeping watch for any threats to his date. He was too busy looking at the retreating forms of Beck and Jade. He didn't remember a time when Jade would just drop something like that.

Beck caught up with Jade, his thoughts spinning. "Jealous?" He asked, smiling. Jade never broke step, never looked at him. She just kept going as she answered.

"No. Meredith is a sweet kid. She's just not right for you. Didn't you tell Tori you needed someone opinionated, who spoke their mind? Meredith is too accommodating for you." Jade said as they walked towards the store. They entered talking.

"So that's the whole reason?" Beck said.

"Get over yourself. You were right, I need to move on. It still hurts sometimes, but I'll manage. I just don't want her to be your rebound. When you're ready, I'll have someone for you." Jade sounded confident, but inside just wanted to get past this discussion. She had her own issues to talk about.

"Wait. Jade West caring about another person? I just don't know you any more." Beck joked.

"She was nice to me. The Sunday after you dumped me, the Vega's were looking after me and they had to go to church. I couldn't go with them because I might combust if I step on holy ground, so they hired her to look after me." Jade braced for it.

"They hired her to look after you. That was nice of them." Beck said.

"I kinda went with the whole babysitting idea, and had her cook for me, read me stories including showing me the pictures, and tucking a blanket around me while we waited." Jade confessed.

"And I'm not supposed to make jokes about this because?" Beck asked.

"You value your life?" Jade responded, smiling.

They had picked out several sandwiches and drinks and were in line to pay for them. Jade wanted to hold off for a second. Line was not the place for her next confession. Fortunately Raj called to check on her. While she quickly chewed him out for being over protective, she was grateful for the distraction. They were on their way back to the group when Jade next spoke.

"I need to tell you something. I hope it doesn't hurt too much, but I kinda checked out a couple of people today." She said quietly. Unsure was not her normal tone of speech, and Beck noticed immediately.

"You mean like Moose? I mean, it's good. I want you to feel comfortable looking. Was he hot?" Beck was trying.

"Yes he was. So was the other guy, and the three girls." Jade held her breath for several seconds. They had stopped walking as beck studied her.

"Wow. I thought I'd have to trick you into noticing that. Anyone I might want to look at?" Beck finally said.

"WHAT!" Jade shouted. She was suddenly not so worried about people noticing. Of course, no one did. "How the holy chiz did you know? I only figured it out in the last couple of weeks, and you knew?"

"Jade, you may not ogle, but you glance. I noticed you glance a lot at different people. Now out and out undressing with your eyes, I've only seen you do that once or twice. Five times if I count moose." he smiled as he said that. Jade was speechless. She managed force herself to say something, just to talk.

"I checked out Sam. My god, I like her body. I know I could never be with her, but I like her body. What is wrong with me?" She said.

"I don't know. I'd didn't expect you to have grown so much." He said, preparing to say more.

"Grown? Grown? What, I've been an immature little brat? Tell me, what the hell is that supposed to mean?" Jade was fuming, and since Beck was chuckling, it only made her madder.

"Jade, please calm down. I only meant to say that you've been a little insecure at times and you don't like risking people seeing that you want things. I think you're afraid that it would give them power over you." Beck guessed.

"You and my therapist. Why does this whole thing have to be so hard. Now I'm becoming a perve and you say I'm growing? I mean hell, that's just janked up. Why can't I be like you and not stare?" Jade said, letting her rant die a little.

"Because you probably shouldn't date a hyper possessive, vengeful and jealous goth just to learn to be discrete. Kidding. Jade, you're only acknowledging the feelings now. You'll get used to them, and trust me, you'll still look even when with your true love. You just won't act on it. Physical attraction has nothing to do with compatibility." Beck said smiling.

"And how did you become such an expert?" Jade demanded.

"I've read about a dozen books on relationships since we broke up. Twice that if you count the days leading up to it. I even read a few dating books, including a couple for the ladies. I had a motivated interest to know everything I could. It helped. I'm doing a lot better now. And Jade, I'm glad you're seeing someone to help deal with your past." Beck was so frustrating because he was honest, and Jade could not let him be the bigger person.

"So maybe you should date Sam. She's cute and her personality is similar to mine." Jade said.

"Nice ass, great rack, but she's less restrained than you ever were. You may insult people, but you never try to hurt people just because they annoy you. Insult or threaten, yes, but not injure." Beck said.

"Ass? Rack? Isn't there more to her than that?" Jade asked as they started moving towards the group again.

"And what did you notice when you ogled her?" Beck asked.

"That she was thin, with decent boobs and just shut up." Jade said, feeling caught in her own words. Becks laughter ended with a hug. They were almost with their friends and Jade decided to act now before it was too late. Three people, on two subject, and she was going to clear both tasks from her mind today.

Despite the urgency Jade was feeling, she had to wait for the right moment to act. The gang stayed together for the next two hours, eating, laughing, and generally having a good time. Jade did get a moment to talk to Andre when the two went to find the restrooms. They had been having a good day, and Jade wanted this done as soon as possible so they both could get back to that good day.

"So, you and Meredith? Hows that working out for you?" Jade's question seemed to take Andre by surprise.

"Uh..Wada you mean? She, uh, seems nice. I mean, she's not with, um, Beck." Andre had no idea what to say, and while he could hang with Jade most days, she almost never cared about his dates. This was probably the first time she had ever asked about one.

"It's just, while I'm by no means her friend, I think she's a nice girl. I just want to be sure you're not after the free cupcakes." Jade somehow made that sound dirty. Again. He remembered that time in the janitors closet, and shuddered. With all he knew about her now, she could probably kill people with just about anything. And she's focused on him. He was grateful for the heat, since he was now sweating. "It's you, Dre, thats my main concern. Do you realize you've never had a relationship last more than two months, the entire time I've known you? You're frequently going on about your new girlfriend, and the only thing consistent is the new part. I could stand Meredith, if she's the one you want. Just find someone. Or be labeled as a player. Just don't break the hearts of any of my friends. Okay?" Andre couldn't answer. She was right, he didn't do long term relationships, but that wasn't why he was speechless. Something had happened to Jade. She was showing compassion and caring for others. Others who she wasn't dating. He decided to talk to Beck. Andre needed to know what was going on, if only to survive.

By the time they got back, Jade had yet another wanna be approaching her. Jade had fended off several previous attempts to hit on her, and while it was flattering, most of these guys just weren't in her league. She shot this one down with a glance when a smell group of older kids, probably college men, walked by. They noticed her group, and came over to talk. They were saying something about a beach party at a refurbished hotel and that they were all invited, "Even the guys." Jade was having trouble following because two of the group were drawing her attention. One, a tall buff guy with sandy hair, was hitting on her and just didn't seem to know what NO meant. The other kept his distance but looked familiar. Jade decided she was not going to a party with these guys and told them as much. Her friends tried to convince her, but she was not budging. Finally she asked how many complaints against the Frat. Many such organizations had cleaned up their act, but enough still only invited girls to parties to get them drunk and then have them.

The Frat brothers wandered off after giving the party address to the group, but the one Jade recognized stayed behind. He confirmed that he was taking her class this summer and that perhaps she would be wise to avoid this party. Most of the Brothers were from out of area enjoying summer in LA and as such he didn't trust them. The local house was always getting in trouble for these types of parties. He urged the girls to stay away, and let them know he would not be there because it was against his morals, and "I've been loaded up on homework. My Physics professor is a killer." The gang decided not to attend the party.

After that, Jade found her chance to talk with Trina. "I need to ask you a couple of things. First, have you thought about learning comedy? I mean really learning? I think it falls within your limited talent, no offense. With your ability to take just about anything, it's a good fit. But I also need a favor from you. I can't tell you the details, but it requires you getting over yourself. Keep the confidence, and the dreams, but lose the idea that you're the chiz." Jade sounded different, letting her compassion speak for her. The dragon had not shown it's face except to the guys who hit on her, and they either went away scared or called her a bitch. Neither got to her today.

"And why do I have to do this? Not that I do, but why?" Trina asked, straight to the point.

"I have a cousin, kinda cute but emotionally shaken from the end of a long romance. I'm thinking of introducing you to him. You just cannot be..Well, you." Jade said as she smirked. "Look, there's a part of you that's tolerable, possibly easy to get along with. Just lose the tude and I'll set you up. Meet me for lunch on Wednesday and we'll see what we need to do before I'm ready to risk you dating him"

"Is he cute?' Trina asked.

"You owe me, so does it mater?" Jade replied. She knew that Trina would show up just to see what she might get. Now Jade had to figure out what Trina needed to lose and what she should keep. The rest of the day was fun, and she found that she was enjoying being toned down. Being a gank was still a major part of her, but she was showing so much more of herself now to the people she cared about.

By Wednesday she had everything planned out. It had taken her days to figure out each thing she wanted to change about Trina, and how realistic it would be to make those changes. She had what she felt was a workable strategy as well as a plan on hoe to get both people into a healthy relationship. 'As healthy as either of them dose, I guess.' The fact that Beck needed a balance of growth and being the knight saving the maiden was the hardest part of the equation. Jade was determined to solve it. She had decided that therapy, for personal growth, was a part of what Trina would need. Surprisingly little else, beyond the inflated opinion of herself needed to change.

Jade was intending it to be just the two of them, but again she underestimated the concern of her friends. Lenard and Howard risked life and limb to eat with her just to make sure she was okay, having noticed that she was withdrawn this week. They were supposed to play witness, but somehow both got in their own comments. Sinjin was also their, since the two scientists liked him so much. Raj and Sheldon were out eating with some potential donors.

"Trina, if you agree to my conditions, I will introduce you." Jade said

"But she knows me." Sinjin said.

"I don't think you're who she meant." Howard corrected.

"Sinjin. Shut it. I only allowed you here because I will need you're help. Do as I say and I might forgive your constant spying. Trina, look over the list and tell me, yes or no." Jade was snapping, and faculty across the lunchroom were keeping their distance.

Trina read over the list several times. "Therapy? Really?" She said.

"It'll help, and you'll feel better." Jade replied.

"Like you'd know" Trina said.

"I would. I'm seeing a therapist about my anger. So do we have a deal? Sinjin stop looking at out tits." Jade didn't even spare the lanky youth a glance.

"Look, she's trying to do a nice thing. Just say you'll do it, Okay?" Lenard added.

"Why should I trust you?" Trina asked the physicist.

"I've come to know here, and if there are conditions there are also usually reasons." He replied.

"Okay, Deal." Trina said. Howard suddenly looked uncomfortable as he saw someone entering the lunchroom.

"Um, guys. I hate to do this, but my father in law just showed up. I gotta see what he wants." Howard said as he prepared to stand.

"Oh my god! Officer Rostenkowski?" Trina practically shouted. "It's me, Trina Vega, David's daughter." She said while waiving her hands.

Mike Rostenkowski walked over to the table, confused.. "Trina? Katrina? Katty, is that you? My god how you've grown. Oh Howard, I need something, but we'll cover that later. Katty's father was my partner for years. I had him from his rookie year until he became a detective. So how is Dave?"

"He's good, and it's Trina now. You should call him. I bet he would love to get back in touch. OH, where are my manners. This is Jade, a friend of Tori's. She's also a physicist or something. She works with the nerds. You seem to know one of them. The guy is Sinjin. I have no idea why he is here." Trina gushed.

"Give me your dads number before I leave. Howard, I need your help. Somethings wrong with the stereo, and I was told you're good at fixing that kinda crap." Mike said. Jade was getting frustrated. She was still not patient with interruptions.

"Sinjin, I need you to hang out with Beck more. When girls mob him, hit on them. You'll help Beck and might get a date or two. Bring Burf, Robbie, and penicillin. Especially the penicillin." Jade said quickly.

"Girl, didn't anyone tell you it's not nice to talk over people?" Mike said.

"Jade, please. It's Howard father-in-law. Don't..." Lenard started as jade tensed, ready to move.

"Kill him" Trina finished.

"Like she could." mike said.

"She probably could." several voices said at once.

"Trina, I need you to lose the tude A.S.A.P. I am not letting Beck set me up first." Jade said, ignoring the Ex cop.

"Beck? You want me to date Beck?" Trina said, both excited and surprised.

"I can you fix your stereo." Howard said. "I'll come by after work to see whats wrong."

"Yes I want you to date him, but only because I see part of you that most people miss. I want him to have THAT." Jade said. She was still giving short glares at Mike between talking to Trina.

"If I may, Howard, why don't you and your father in law go over there to talk. Jade, this sounds like stuff we don't need to be involved with. Sinjin, don't hit on Becks rejects. You're better than that." Lenard addressed each, then stood up and moved to another table. Howard followed suit, despite Mike's choosing to just leave. Sinjin and Trina stayed to discuss things with Jade.

"So that's how to pick up skanky women." Sinjin said. Jade just smiled. Things were moving along nicely. She would soon have beck in a health relationship with Trina Vega, and Jade marveled at that thought. They ironed out some of the details, and Jade made sure everyone was on board. They would have to get together a few times for Jade to help prepare Trina. Acting would not be good enough. If possible, Trina would need to change. Her true self was fine, it was the diva attitude that needed to go.

As they were breaking up, Trina then said "Jade, why don't you come to dinner Friday night. We can discuss this further." Jade realized there was no getting out of that dinner. That meant either an evening with tori, or knowing tori was on a date. Jade felt the tension again.


	18. Chapter 18: Friday dinner

Friday came far too quickly. Teaching was becoming easy, almost habitual, and her students seemed to take a sort of pride in being able to keep up with her. The school was also pleased, and after two weeks she decided to shake it up with a quiz. Kevin would probably complain, but he was going to be stuck grading papers all weekend. 'Serves him right for ignoring my advice on his research. Stupid wazbag.' Jade realized the quiz might be her lashing out from the stress of her impending dinner with Tori. (The family, but mostly Tori.). It didn't weigh on her conscience though.

Howard was also nervous, since he was once again having dinner with his in-laws. He may have bonded with Mike, his father-in-law, but that didn't translate into shared interests or being able to spend time with them. Howard apparently liked making conversation, and jokes when he was nervous. Mike and his wife both kept the conversation to a minimum, usually. It made for uncomfortable evenings. This was where Jade decided she had paid her friendship dues, and left the conversation.

"Howard, just to let you know, I've decided to walk away rather then kill you. I hope you come to believe this was the right choice." Jade said before walking out. Her friends, who with the exception of Sheldon, had been listening to Howard describing his problems and just accepted Jades decision to walk away. Years of Sheldon had conditioned them to appreciate her less egotistical approach. Sheldon, who was there and apparently engaged in his own conversation, was upset. He had thought Jade was listening to him explain his beliefs on how to thrive. She had tuned out at 'second PhD'.

She didn't know why she felt so stressed. Still, Jade was nervous, so she did what she always did when she was stressed. She went home and attempted to ruin another heavy bag. After an hour, she was bloody, exhausted, and in need of a shower. She did feel a little better. She had noticed that while her workouts were still intense, she had not bloodied herself from one in over two weeks. That worried her. Her progress in therapy wasn't at the point where she thought her drive for self harm dealt with. She decided to ask on Tuesday.

The shower was barely enough to let her relax. She needed more, so decided to call Raj while getting dressed. They talked about her stress, but Raj was still no expert on this kind of chiz so all she did was vent to him. The venting did help her realize that her interest in Tori was more of an attraction. Jade reacted the way she was used to in there situations, and tried to deny the feelings. Raj did help her stay sane until she was ready to go, and they discussed the equations that broke down the convergence of Astrophysics and Quantum physics, or the lack thereof. Jade was willing to discuss dark mater, super dense objects, and how much of a gravitational pull Sheldon's ego produces. Raj liked talking about that stuff, and discussing physics helped relax her.

Lenard called her to check on how she was doing and let her know that Penny is sorry for whatever. Jade guessed that Penny didn't want to drive away a backdoor into a potential lead roll. If the girl was smart, she'd be cozying up to Sikowitz instead of her. 'Then again, you wouldn't know how many contacts he has in the industry by looking at him.' She decided that after her birthday, if the groupie hadn't totally offended her, she would tell Lenard about the crazy teachers contacts.

Jade had talked to Beck about the summer workshops Sikowitz was running, only to find out that none of them were helping out. Apparently only Meredith, Trina, Burf, and a couple of shruggers were taking it. Not that she blamed them. Paying to be a TA sucked. Still, she was able to find out how the class was doing. Lenard was behind, as most of the students had some acting training before taking this class, but he was still having fun. They were all getting used to Sikowitz's style of teaching, and the no refund policy was the only thing keeping a fair number of students coming back. Meredith was the TA everyone was relying on to help the new students. Unfortunately she was too agreeable so she needed Burf' to play the heavy, the constructive criticism needed to help the students learn. Trina was being her usual self. 'I'll ask her to help out. It would be good for her'.

As she got to the Vega household, she noticed another car and a truck. 'Guests? Now there are guests? I guess I can still work with Trina, but who are these people and why are they here?' Jade was on time, and wondered about what kind of loser would show up early to dinner. She knocked on the door, letting her fears and confusion turn into frustration. Her knuckles shook the door as she started fighting the strange urge to run. Seconds later, the door opened and Bernadette was staring at her.

"Hi, Jade, right?" She said nervously. A second passed and it was obvious that the goth still brought up bullying flashbacks in the microbiologist. "S-So what brings you here?"

"Dinner. I was invited." Jade said as she pushed her way through. Bernadette quickly closed the door and moved to the couch and the relative safety of her husband. Howard looked totally out of place. He was trying to talk to Ms. Rostenkowski. 'Dammit doesn't that woman have a first name?' Poor Howard only really knew her, his wife and his father-in-law, and now Jade. He had met Tori, but she was introduced as a celebrity and he still didn't know how to talk to her. They, Howard and family, formed a small circle, along with Holy, while the men were out back grilling something and talking about who knows what. Tori and Trina were sitting on the ledge of the piano 'Stage', not sure who to talk to. "So you know the Vega's? Why didn't you recognize Tori at the Pizza night?" Jade asked without really looking at Bernadette.

"It's a little embarrassing, but I only babysat them for a while, eight years ago. Once Katty was old enough, I stopped. Oh, yea, they were Katty and Vicky when I knew them. It's been years, so you'll have to forgive my not recognizing them. I mean, I thought Vicky was still doing that slapping thing." Bernadette defended herself. Jade was barely listening.

"Howard, did you get the Stereo fixed?" Jade was just being polite now.

"Yep. I wish I knew you were going to be here, I wouldn't have worried so much. I mean, what do you say to a cop, anyways?" Howard asked.

"Jade. Glad you could make it." David Vega said as he entered the room. Mike Rostenkowski followed. Both men were doing the same balancing act, with a plate of food in one hand an a beer in the other. Jade wasn't sure she'd ever seen David so relaxed. Mike was also smiling as they made their way to the table. "Howard, Bernadette, Jade goes to school with my daughters and has become practically part of the family. Jade, these are Mike, his wife, their daughter Bernadette.."

"I work with Howard. We've met." Jade said with a dark smile. Tori took this moment to walk up to Jade and guide her to the table. They had squeezed nine chairs around an eight person table, putting the high school girls together on one side. Dinner was simple but filling, and again Jade reminded herself that 'Men's idea of cooking was an open fire'. It was a strange comfort, however, the way David was including her in his family. She loved her parents, despite the distance she felt from her own father, but somehow they never quite got it. Her mother always made her feel like she wasn't trying hard enough, while at the same time filling her with the fear of falling to one of the traps hidden in the entrainment industry. Jade felt trapped sometimes, unloved until she proved otherwise. It was stupid. She knew her mother loved her. The woman just sometimes sucked at showing it. It was worse that her parents idea of worthy seemed to be opposites.

"It's funny" Mike says out of nowhere "Howard's friends seem to think this little girl is dangerous." He sounded amused and annoyed at the same time. His wife just looked on and Holly looked mortified.

"Black belt in Krav Maga, she has a reputation of being capable of hurting just about anyone. We've been watching her for a couple of years, but she keeps it just this side of legal." David said with a cool air that shocked Jade. "I give a lot of credit to her Ex, but I suspect she also thinks of violence as the unthinking's way of getting revenge." She almost felt betrayed, but something told her David wasn't like that. This was probably just the police staying on top of school reports and watching a potential threat in an elite school. Since the school's funding was mainly from donations and fee's from the local studios, it was the only performing arts school in the country (that she knew of) that was free. That meant anyone could get in with an audition, and that dangerous people could be doing who knows what there. The police would be heavily involved in protecting that investment. That also explained why the iffy things she and the gang have done off campus were not mentioned. It just left one question.

"Why do YOU know that?" Jade asked.

"My job. In addition to my general duties as a detective, I liaison with local schools for police services. It's one of the reasons I travel so much. I give trainings on the subject, and they can be held anywhere." He said with a smile. "The PhD caught most of us off guard, by the way. Not what you'd expect from a kid on the watch-list."

"Glad I could surprise you." Jade said, feeling shaken but somehow relieved. Other than that he was a cop, even Tori knew nothing of his job. This was revealing a lot about what he did, and he was still so accepting that it felt almost okay.

"Enough talking. Let's eat." Holly said. It looked like she was trying to extract herself from the talk with Howard and Bernadette. Mrs. Rostenkowski still didn't say much, and Jade found herself watching to make sure the woman was breathing.

'If they don't tell me her fist name, I'm giving her one' snaked through Jades head, and she smiled. The meal was pleasant enough, with Trina and Tori able to tell everyone about their latest projects. David showed interest, but it was apperant that while he loved his family he really never understood the whole performing mindset. Trina had applied and been accepted into a campus improve troupe at UCLA. It would be training for now, but she could learn comedy from them. That's what a lot of those groups did anyway. Tori was in the summer musical as well as recording her demo for Mason Thornsmith. She was all but signed, only needing to finish negotiating the contract as well as have all her background materials ready. Tori was already working with Andre to write the music for her first album. Jade suggested that a lawyer should looked over the contract to explain everything to the Vega family. They agreed.

After dinner, Howard found he could amuse Holly, but was uncomfortable around a family where everyone was taller than he was. (Counting Trina in her heals.) Jade did what she could to help, but only until she found a moment to pull the one of the sisters away for a quick conversation. She needed to talk to Trina, and wanted to talk to Tori. 'I want to so much more than talk to her. Bad Jade. Keep it clean.' She managed to pull Trina aside for a quick conversation.

"Look, Trina, I think you're doing a good job of letting your caring side out. You tend to be such a gank to Tori, it's hard to remember you love her, but I know you do look out for her. That's kinda what I want for Beck. Accept your limitations, push for greatness where you have potential, and be there for him. He's so talented and mature, but there's this part of him that's still a little boy. He loves the attention of the pretty girls, he sometimes forgets that his smile can't solve every problem, and he just gets so into himself that he misses that he's really like everyone else. I still love him, and I'm doing this because I don't want him to get hurt." Jade looked Trina in the eye, allowing her intentions to come across without the usual threats. "I was disappointed when he decided not to take Sikowitz's workshop this summer." Jade said before Trina jumped in.

"So was I. He was half the reason I signed up." Trina said. Jade was not surprised by the honesty. Trina was a lousy liar, but most people didn't know because she so rarely tried. Jade had heard the rumors Trina had spread about Beck, but that apparently had backfired. Jade had soggy memories of why she hated Cats brother associated with that night.

"Anyways, Trina, I want you to use the same skills you showed in the tutoring center to help the newer students in the workshop. I have a friend there and he needs the help. Also there's this chick named Penny. She's dating a shorter guy with glasses. Know them?" Jade saw recognition in Trina's face and continued. "Talk to her about her career. She's a walking life lesson on how looks only get you so far. Do that, continue to see a therapist, and we should be ready to set you up around my birthday." Jade smiled. It wasn't about power anymore, it was about seeing Beck happy.

Trina talked a bit about what had happened in the workshop, confirming what Jade had got out of her other sources. Then the older Vega sister went to save her mother from the awkward conversation that came with her fathers friends family. David and Mike got along great, the families not so much. Tori had been stuck with that job, and Trina was determined to save her sister from the mental scarring that was sure to be coming from the uncomfortable conversation. Tori found Jade where Trina had left her, in the back yard looking at the stars.

"There beautiful. You get a good look at them because we're at the top of a hill." Tori said.

"I know too many Astrophysicists. I just think about what makes them work. It takes the mystery out of it. I guess they're still pretty." Jade said. She sounded down.

"Whats wrong?" Tori asked.

"Just stuff" Jade said dismissively. 'I'm can't be attracted to you, I need your family too much. Besides, she wants Beck. Sorry Tori, but Trina's just a better fit.' Jades thoughts stopped there. She knew Tori would have done just as well, and with less work. Unsure of why she hadn't asked Tori, she realized if they started dating, she would lose both her confidants. Jade was feeling guilty and alone.

"Look, Jade, I need to talk to you about something. Beck needs this favor from me, and it's kinda involved." Tori was interrupted by Howard opening the sliding door and calling them. Two girls went inside to see that someone had decided to set up some party games, and they were expected to play. Jade was already feeling more alone than ever as she tried to decline. They would not have it, and teams were being set up for charades.

"Tori and Jade can't be on the same team, they're both actresses." and "Howard and Bernadette can't be on the same team as Jade, to keep the smartest people on different teams." and "Mike and Dave need to be on different teams, so there's no cop gap" the arguments went back and forth. Finally the teams were Howard, Bernadette, Tori and Mike against Holly, David, Trina and Jade. Mrs. Rostenkowski was on one team or another but no one expected her to say much of anything.

Before the torture (in Jades mind) of the game began, Dave turned to Jade and quietly asked "So what did you say?" Jade's confused look prompted him to continue. "When Tori asked you out. I mean, you weren't freaked out, were you? I hope this doesn't change how you feel about us. It's just we didn't know how you'd react or if you'd be interested." Jade looked at him speechless. For several seconds she tried to make her mind work. She was a total blank. "She hasn't asked yet, has she?" David felt embarrassed, and knew he probably made things worse.

"T-Tori?" Jade stuttered. Her heart was racing, and cold fear froze it's way down her spine. _'Beck needs a favor from me, and it's kinda involved.' _ That recent memory where Tori tried to talk to her mixed in with an older one _'I know what you need, and it's not _me.' Becks words echoed in her head. When he asked her to agree to let him set her up, was this what he meant? He never specified gender for her potential dates. Was Tori going to ask her out just because he arranged it?

"Jade? Whats wrong?" Tori asked.

"My bad. I think I let the cat out of the bag." Dave said.

"Whats going on here? Why's Jade freaking out?" Howard asked. Bernadette hid behind her father, whom she felt might delay a berserk Jade a few more seconds then her husband.

"Beck asked you to be nice to me? What was he planning? How long ago did he ask? Last Saturday? Before?" Jade was feeling angry, a comfortable fall back for her, but first time in this house she felt betrayed.

"Jade, it's not like that. Yes, Beck asked me to be nice to you, but that's not the favor he wanted. A-and he didn't ask me to date you, it's just easier to do this if we are." Tori was risking a lot walking up to Jade.

"What? What did he want you to do?" Jade voice was icy.

"That's not important. I-I didn't mean to offend you. You're so hard to read sometimes, and I hoped maybe we could have something. Jade please, just calm down and listen to me." Tori stood just out of touching distance. Everyone else went quiet, watching.

"What. Is. The. Favor?" Jade breathed the words.

"Beck thought you might be gay, so I was supposed to seduce you. You know, see if you were really interested. Jade, I know how much you've been hurt. I didn't mean any harm. I took so long to figure out my feelings. I want to go out with you. I want to date you. God, if you'd let me, I'd fuck your brains out if it would make you love me!" Tori stopped, realizing what she had just said. The room was silent.


	19. Chapter 19: encounters in a guest room

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

I want to thank Guest, Skrollong, Bubbles1023, Boris Yelstin, Nizoyo, and Coogg for their reviews over the story. I just want you to know, I thought some of it was funny.

:}

Jade woke up in another off white room with nondescript furniture and pictures that looked like they were bought at a garage sale. This was obviously another guest room, and this time she knew exactly where she was. Howard and Bernadette had put her up for the night. She remembered feeling betrayed last night, after Tori had admitted wanting her in an almost desperate way. The worst part was everyone seemed to know but her. Jade had thought the Vega's had accepted her, despite her weirdness, and that she belonged. She didn't know that there were conditions. She felt empty, yet wanted to vomit. It was an uncomfortable feeling. Jade had avoided hard alcohol since getting caught drinking by her mother and being told she'd wind up pregnant if she kept it up. The implications terrified her, reminding her of the fears she had after she was raped, and it took away her feeling of being in control. Jade needed to feel in control to feel safe.

Her thoughts Flashed back to last night.

(Flashback catching up to present)

Jade stood there, looking around. 'They all knew. That's why I'm here. They were all in on it' She looked around at what were once friendly faces, not sure what to do. Thoughts flew through her head, as well as the gnawing fear of being hurt and alone. People were talking, seemingly all at once, and she wasn't sure she heard a single word correctly. Her world was spinning out of control, and she just needed to run.

"Jade, I didn't mean, I mean, please I would never hurt you." Tori was babbling.

"Listen to Tori. Jade, this is good for everyone. Just calm down and let Tori explain." Trina was saying.

"Jade, I'm sorry. I thought this was what you wanted." David was saying.

"What's going on?" Howard was asking his wife, who didn't know.

"Everyone stop talking. You're confusing her." Holly was saying. It all mixed into a strange verbal collage.

"I-I gotta get out of here." Jade said as she started towards the door. The room was still making strange noises when something stepped in her way, stopping her from running.

"No you don't" Mike said, standing in front of the door. "You're way too emotional to drive. Give Howard your keys and he'll drive you home. No one want's to see you hurt, or worse." Jade looked at the ex-policeman and considered going through him, but Howard said something in Russian, she wasn't sure what, and she relented.

Howard and Bernadette drove her home, but since she refused to tell them where she lived, they had opted to let her spend the night. So that was why she was in the guestroom. (Caught up now.). 'Why are all guest rooms so bland? No flair at all.' Jade was still too shaken to be mean, and could not laugh at her own joke. She started to get up when she herd a knock at the door.

"Howard, I'm getting up. Don't fucking rush me." Jade knew she was venting, but it didn't make her any less wazzed. She was lost, all her intelligence and talent had not prepared her for everything that had happened last night. She just wanted to go home and try to figure things out.

"It's Raj." came through the door. "Howard told me what happened. Open up so we can talk this through." Jade didn't need Raj and his gift for misunderstanding making it worse, but let him in anyway. Maybe she could vent, again.

"They all knew. The whole Vega family knew. I can't believe they set me up like that. I mean, they treated me like I was practically one of them, and it was all a setup." Jade stopped to inhale and Raj interjected.

"How sad. The girl you're crushing on likes you back and her family approves. How can you show your face there again." Sarcasm dripped from his lips as he regarded the girl he cared about like a sister (Only nicer) looked on, dumbfounded.

"What?" Jade was amazed she said anything. Her mind stopped and she just tried to take it in.

Sighing "Look, Jade. It's time to accept that you can't control love. It sucks, because I would have myself a model of twelve if I could. You fell for this Tori girl, and she apparently returned the feelings. And big surprise, a confused teenage girl turned to her sister for advice. And then the family that welcomed you with open arms discovers you were going to possibly date their daughter, and they were okay with that. My god, Jade, you just got the coming out jackpot and you ran away. What is wrong with you." Raj looked at Jade, waiting as if he expected her to give him an answer.

"I didn't think.."Jade started.

"You're right you didn't. Now you're going to go home and get cleaned up. Dress nice. Then you're going to go and get some flowers for the family. Apologize for your reaction and see if this girl will forgive you." Raj might have succeed if he were the only person trying to comfort Jade that morning.

"Knock knock." Penny said as she entered, shutting Raj up with her mere presence. "I was just coming by to see how you were doing. I hear you had a shock last night. I know it's hard when you girl friend starts making advances on you. Just let them down easily." She would have continued when Amy spoke up from the next room.

"It's not uncommon for girls her age to experiment. Maybe that's what was going on. Or maybe it's just her reaction to being around such a dominant female, she reacted as if Jade was male." The room was quickly filling up as Lenard, Howard, Penny, Bernadette, Sheldon and Amy all found their way in.

"How are you doing?" Lenard asked, showing real sympathy. Penny's concern was also genuine, but her advice was less welcome. Penny was used to her life experience being relevant to her friends problems, and sometimes sounded conceited when dealing with the 'girls'. Sheldon probably said something that Jade didn't quite hear, and for once she wished for more of his annoying factoids. Howard had the common sense to stick to his strong suit and make bad jokes, while Bernadette spent her time being motherly and making sure Jade was taken care of. Jade was beginning to think she could never get enough of that kind of treatment, but wished for different circumstances.

For the next several minutes they all seemed to have advice and were busy sharing it while Jade just tuned them out to process what Raj had said. He was right. Jade had been offered everything she could have wanted, and she just ran. Maybe she was still hurting from the breakup with Beck, but it had been over a month and she was partially over him the first week. Jade was considering making a break from these people who cared about her to follow his advice, but two things stopped her. First, the realization that so many people actually cared about her. That thought practically froze her in her place. Then the second was the next person to enter both the apartment and the guest room.

"Everybody out. Jade and I need to talk." Trina screamed. Sinjin was in the background, looking smug. "No arguments. We've got stuff to work out and you all can wait in the living room until we're done." With that, Trina dismissed them all and moved them out the door, closing it after the last of them left. There were, of course, protests, but Trina just pushed them out and made sure she and Jade were alone. "They don't have bugs in here, do they?" Jade shook her head no.

"So you got Howard's address from Mike?" Jade asked.

"You wish. Sinjin can remotely activate the tracking system on your phone. It's a feature the police wanted in all Pear phones, I think. He wanted me to tell you that he had to turn it on and that he's no longer stalking you." Trina laughed at the statement. "Anyways, I'm here to clear the air. I'll start by letting you know I know why you freaked out last night. Tori didn't mean to tell me, and she is really sorry. For everything." Jade was shocked to realize she didn't feel wazzed about Trina knowing, assuming she knew. Trina continued. "She kinda let us all in on her intentions during the week, before our Wednesday meeting, and we decided to help. Oh yea, Mike was there because he is dad's friend and they hadn't hung out in years. And the visit would give us something to do while you two talked. Not important. Whats important is Tori really wants to be with you." Trina stopped to let Jade respond.

"And where is she now?" Jade asked. She wanted to be angry, but after everything Raj said she wouldn't be surprised if Tori cut her losses and gave up.

"Waiting at home for me to call and tell her where you are. Thing is, I wanted to explain my side of things first." Trina said, sitting on the bed.

"And?" Jade gave only that reaction and a look on her face encouraging Trina to go on.

"Tori needs you, or someone like you. I know it's kinda selfish, but that's why I'm here. There are a couple of thing I mean by that. First, you're a long term relationship kind of gal, and she hasn't dated anyone for more than three months since her freshman year. She needs someone who is willing to commit. Second, and the reason Beck would never do, is she needs someone who will look out for her. She's gonna be famous, and she's so damn nice. She needs someone who won't take crap from anyone and will make sure the nice seeming people trying to get stuff from her, don't. Beck is willing to take the fall for her, but you're willing to push her so she can do it on her own. Plus, you gave her the spot at the Platinum music awards. Becks wonderful, and I intend to make sure he knows it, but I can fight my own battles, and while she can hold her own against people like you, most of the users are not as honest in their deceptions." Trina looked into Jades eyes, trying to show her intents through that one act.

"Two things. One, Thank you for your honesty. But what makes you think I can look after her?" Jade spoke slowly. Her heart was feeling fragile, but she could still handle this like an equation. Get the variables, solve each part.

"You protect whats yours. You know the games people play in the entertainment industry, and you're good at twisting them to your own ends. I know that the same energy you used to keep the pretty girls away from Beck would be used to keep the users away from Tori. I honestly think she needs someone who can be ruthless to keep her safe, and that's in addition to a bodyguard." Trina spoke calmly, expecting to be interrupted but happy she wasn't.

"Okay, back to an early point. What is it you think you know?" Jade was nervous, despite feeling okay about Trina knowing. She wondered if the family knew, and how much they knew. Trina was being open, and it suited her. Maybe she would let Jade know how much the family knew.

"I know you were raped. I didn't tell anyone, but I suspect my dad knows as well. He questioned Beck one day, and he uses these police tricks...They don't use violence to get suspects to talk, they often outsmart them. Anyways, Tori and I are used to them, since he's been using them for years.." Trina was going off topic.

"AND!" Jades voice snapped Trina back into focus.

"I already said. She needed to tell someone, and so when she let it slip, last night after you left, I gave her an understanding ear. She really didn't mean to tell anyone, but the stress and your reaction, she just talked herself into a corner and I let her. Once I knew what happened, I guess I understood what happened between you and Beck." Trina stopped and took a deep breath, taking Jades hand as she spoke. "You need someone like Tori as well. She loves without condition, she knows your past and accepts it, and frankly, you're not likely to do better so buck up and get ready. I'm taking you back to work things out."

"I was already going back. Raj doesn't know the full story, but he convinced me to go and make things right. You were offering me a safe place, a place where I could feel like I belong. A place with Tori as my girlfriend and all you guys as a second family. I should tell your parents, since everyone knows anyways. If they can accept me, then I'll have a safe place in my world. And I like Tori's ass." Jade smiled as she stared off into space. Trina let go of her hand, smiled and spoke.

"Jade, I love that you like my sister, but please no sex talk around me. It's bad enough that you're going to be screwing in the room next to mine..." Trina was cut off.

"Not for a long time. I don't just jump into relationships. It takes trust and I can't believe I'm having this conversation with you." Jade was blushing.

"You've known Tori for almost two years, trusted her with your darkest secrets, and you want to wait for sex? Jade, I just hope you have that option. Not that she'd force you, but she's good at getting what she wants and I'm sure you've never been on the receiving end of the Vega seduction. Trust me, you're sleeping with her and you're going to love it." Trina was smirking as she said that. Jade had heard about Trina's skills at seduction and felt pretty safe. Still, she didn't feel like insulting Trina after the girl had come here to try and help her, even if for selfish reasons.

Jade asked Trina to wait outside as she made a call. It took only seconds for her to type in the number, quicker than using her contact list. She heard the ringing then the answer.

"Good morning Jade. Whats up?" Beck said as he answered his phone. She knew as soon as he answered the phone that he has slipped up and told. After over three years together, on and off, she knew him well enough to tell when everyone else would be fooled. The open guy with no secrets was good at keeping them, but Jade knew he had folded under Davids interrogation. She just needed details.

"Why did you tell Him?" Jade kept it vague, letting her Ex fill in the blanks.

"Tell who what?" Beck was never that easy to crack.

"David Vega, last night, you filled him in on details of my life?" She said as coldly as she could.

"He already knew Babe. He just needed details. I didn't tell him, I think Tori might have let it slip. I just filled in the details." Beck said nervously, his speech just a bit rapid.

"He didn't know, he just suspected. You gave him more than the details, you confirmed his suspicions." Jade snapped. Then, in a more forgiving voice "Beck, I love you but never get in trouble with the law, Okay. Apparently David Vega is a trained interrogator. It was a life lesson in how much they can get out of you, so keep to your motto and never have any secrets." Jade was smiling at the end. He may have suspected her secret other sources, including combing through her school files. Her relationship with the Vega family was going to be very interesting.

When Jade walked out to the living room, she saw everyone sitting quietly except Sheldon and Amy, who were discussing what could have caused her reaction. She started thinking about trust, and what kind of friend she was going to be with each of them. That's when it hit her, she needed to tell some of them, as well as some of her other friends. It wasn't just about secrets, it was about power. Jade needed power over that indecent, and as long as the subject was off limits, she would never have that.

She thought about her sexuality. Even though all her friends would soon know about her interests in girls, she wouldn't just tell everybody. Power meant being able to choose who you tell and how much. Her history would be the same way. She wouldn't tell everybody, just those she trusted not to make too big a deal about it. 'Who can I trust that information?' The thoughts took her out of herself, and she realized that everyone was looking. So she sat down next to Sheldon to avoid people wondering if she was all right. She could just ignore him, and he'd just keep talking.

Jade weighed her options. 'Sheldon and Amy. They mean well, but I don't think either of them would know what to do with me if they knew. Lenard is a good guy, but he doesn't need the stress. Penny's an option, but I'd rather be skinned alive by rusty scissors. She's just not there as a friend yet, and I think she's gonna have her hands full with the whole bisexual thing. Howard used to be a major perv, and while he's reformed, I think he can wait until I'm sure. Bernadette is in the same boat. That leaves Raj. God help me, I'm gonna tell him. I just need him to keep his big mouth shut.'

"Are you alright?" Sheldon asked, finally noticing she wasn't listening. "Perhaps a hot beverage is in order?" He was well trained, but had no idea how to use the manners his mother gave him. Jade decided to tell the whole group something so that no one would feel left out. But first.

"What I'm about to say never leaves this room. Or this group. It's my business, but it's gonna affect all of you, so I guess I gotta tell you." Jade was interrupted.

"No you don't. Jade, I know they're your friends, but they don't need to know." Trina said. Sinjin nodded along. Jade just smiled, giving Trina a quick wink while also nodding towards Sinjin.

"Guys, I think you should know, I've been struggling with my sexuality recently, and I now know I'm bisexual. I kinda been in denial for a while, and recent developments opened my eyes. Tori knows some of this, and when she made the pass at me, it caught me off guard. Raj, thanks for the advice. I'll call you to let you know how it went." Jade smiled. She would let Raj know privately. He was becoming her confidant. Now she just had to decide what to tell the gang at Hollywood Arts. "I guess that's it. Thanks for the concern. I'm going home to clean up. Trina, either I'll be over soon or drop Tori at my place. Sinjin, you wont hear this often, but thanks." With that, she waled out the door. Trina and Sinjin quickly followed.

Once Outside Sinjin takes the moment to talk to Jade. "Jade, I know what happened to you. I mean I kinda suspected. Never asked, because you'd have killed me, but I thought something like that might have happened. It fit your moods and they way you were with Beck. Just so you know, I never held what happened to you against you. I know it was probably the worst thing ever to happen to you, but your still so beautiful." Sinjin smiled.

"My god, you're a kinky little stalker, aren't you." Jade said. Trina just laughed. "I'm with Tori now. Go score some scanky Northridge girls. And no imagining me with Tori."

"Don't have to. Photo shop is a wonderful thing. I'll send you the link." Sinjin said as he got in Trina's car and they drove off.

Jade was amazed to feel closer to the little freak now than ever before. 'I still might kill him, but not before I see's the photo's.'

:}

This story is not yet done, but I'm not sure where it wants to go yet. I'll let you know once we get there.


	20. Chapter 20: Talking to Tori's Parents

Jade reached the Vega household a little after lunchtime. She had decided to apologize to the whole family and then talk to Tori. Jade West didn't do apologize, so she was very uncomfortable about what she was going to say. To make it more complicated, she realized she may be due an apology herself. So now she found herself in her car, parked in front of their house, trying to force herself to face the confusion and talk to Tori. She had checked her makeup and her clothing several times while getting ready, and was sure she looked hot in her jeans and Gears of War t-shirt while still generating an image of respectability. No sense in sending the wrong message to Tori's parents. They were just starting (hopefully) to date, so despite what Trina had said, she was not expecting sex to even come up as a topic for months. Even the thought of David and Holly thinking about her and Tori doing 'that' made her nervous. To kill some time and get her courage back, she called Raj.

"Hello Jade. Have you made up with your girlfriend yet?" Straight to the point, not Raj like at all.

"Are you alone?" Jade asked.

"Unfortunately yes" came his reply.

"I though you were dating that crazy chick. Whats her name? Lucy? The one afraid of people?" Jade asked.

"I am. She just doesn't like to spend too much time with me. She thinks I'm pressuring her. Just because I want her to meet my friends, it doesn't mean I'm pressuring her. She has to understand that my social group is an extension of my identity. I know she's scared, and maybe climbs out of bathroom windows when nervous, but I know you guys are very accepting and will make her feel comfortable. We'll, they will. You'd just scare the panty's off her and scar her for life. Worse if you talk." Raj stopped to inhale. That was Jades opening.

"Raj, shut up or you'll have more to worry about than a girlfriend dashes at the first sign of a commitment. I need to tell you something and it stays between us. Tell anyone and you might as well live your fantasy cuz you wont have anything left to lose. Am I making myself clear?" Jade was her usual intimidating self.

"And there's another example of why I cannot introduce you to her until she has the safety of the group. And possibly body armor. Jade, you need to stop with the crazy threats and learn to trust. Of course I won't tell. You trusted me with this whole likes girls thing. You thought I was gay, so I'm a bit peeved at you for that, since I clearly told you otherwise more than once. Still, you know I kept your secret and I will continue to keep your secrets. I like us being each others confidants. Just.." Raj didn't get the option of a pause this time.

"SHUT UP!" Jade's scream was loud enough to alert the neighborhood. The Trina's car was there, so it was likely she was home. Assuming everyone else was there (and their cars in the garage) Jade had maybe a couple of minutes at most until they came looking for her. "Raj, I don't have time for this. Just listen. I freaked out when Tori was talking to me because she mentioned fucking me to make me love her. I didn't take that well because, well, when I was twelve I was kinda, well," Jade took a deep breath. 'courage Jade. You can do this.' "I was raped." She had forced it out, and for just a second wasn't sure her voice had worked. Raj gave a sharp, shocked inhalation and Jade spoke before he could. She didn't need questions. "Don't worry about the details, they don't matter. Just shut up, don't tell, and well talk later. I gotta go. Bye." Jade hung up before she dropped her phone. She was on the verge of tears. 'Damn Raj. Why do you have to make it so hard. Just let me tell you and accept me, okay.' Jade fought back the need to cry only to be brought out of her thoughts by someone knocking on her drivers side window.

"Are you all right in there?" Detective David Vega asked.

"Fine. Better then fine. I just told a friend I trust about my past, but he just never shuts up about his problems. I had to scream just to be heard. I wish I'd waited to tell him in person." Jade was babbling.

"Take a deep breath, and relax. Okay." Jade followed his instructions. "Better?" Ha asked. She nodded. "Good. Come inside. Tori wants to talk to you." He said calmly.

Jade got out of her car, locked it, and followed the Vega patriarch into his home. She saw Holly working on something at the kitchen table, Trina sitting on the ledge of the rise and wearing her headphones listening to music, and Tori was sitting on the couch, gripping a cushion hard enough to make it scream, if cushions screamed.

"Guys. I kinda owe you an apology. Or I think I do. Damn it, this is too confusing. I janked it up, and I want to say I'm sorry. Don't know why, and I don't care. I really wish I hadn't freaked out when I did. I though I was past it, but I'm barely coming to terms with my bisexuality, let alone my interest in Tori. I never thought she'd feel the same, then it seemed like she only did because Beck asked her to." Jade took a pause to see if they were listening. She felt vulnerable. It was the price she had to pay if she wanted to continue to be a part of this family.

"Jade.." Tori started.

"Please, let me finish. Or stop pausing. I-I don't know what to say." Jade started to cry. Tori was standing and moved to her in an instant. Taking the goth in her arms, Tori just held her whispering soft words to help calm Jade down.

"You don't have to say anything. We understand." Tori repeated. After the fourth cycle, Jade allowed herself to be pulled to the couch. They sat together for a few minutes, calming down and just being there for each other. Jade came back to herself quickly. "We know a lot of what you were going through, or we think we do. Jade, it's okay. Your whole life is changing, and far more quickly then any of us were expecting. Just take your time. There's no need to rush. Take all the time you need." Tori said in a soft, calm voice.

Jade pulled away from Tori, still holding hands but shifting to address the room again. Holly had moved to the dining room chair closest to the living room. Still, she had to start somewhere, so "Tori, I want to date you, but I can't lose the support your family's been giving me. If things don't work out..."

"Jade, stop. I don't know where this is coming from. Maybe your worried about needing support, but you're not going to feel this way for the rest of your life. You've got a lot going on right now. You're strong, and you can handle things fine. You just need a little support right now." Trina chirped in, startling everyone since they didn't think she was listening. She moved forward to sit on the other couch.

"Besides, you're assuming things will go south." David said. He was still standing, giving everyone else space. "For now, lets assume you won't do anything to hurt Tori, and that even if the romance doesn't work out you'd still be friends. That way, You feel like your risking less, and can safely date Tori. You're still part of the family."

"It's hard. I'm not used to people believing in me, or loving me without a catch. So whats the catch?" Jade tried to sound like she was joking, but they all knew the truth.

"The catch is you have to be willing to love me back." Tori said, pulling Jade closer. Tori stared into her eyes, and slowly moved forward until their lips touched. They kissed briefly at first, tentatively, but things escalated and soon they were in a full make out session. Everything Tori did made her feel so good, and Jade wrapped her arm around Tori's waist, pulling her closer while the other cupped the Latina's cheek. Tori's hands had found more intimate places, one on Jade's ass while the other moved up her shirt. The goth lost track as air became an issue and they two broke apart. Her body was screaming it was ready for more.

"Not in front of the family." David sounded annoyed, but not mad. It was the voice of a father reminding a child for the eighteenth time not to run in the house. "A little kissing is understandable, but nothing this heavy. And Tori, hands off her breasts." Jade suddenly realized where Tori's hand was, and that the singer had been groping her for who knows how long. Jade also had to admit she'd enjoyed it. It worried the brilliant girl because while it felt good, they hadn't been on a real date yet. Well, not one that wasn't either enforced by Sinjin's spying or used to avoid going to the drag races with Beck.

'I'd go if the racers were in Drag.' Jade smiled at her thoughts. Yes, they needed to go on a date. She thought for several seconds about what the perfect date would be. "Tori, I was wondering if you'd like to go out together sometime?" Jade was nervous.

"I'd love to. When?" Tori responded, her eyes brightening at the request.

"Dad and mom might want to go into another room. I need to talk to you both about this date thing." Trina said.

"No. I'm staying right here." Holly said. "If you're going to tell Tori about how quickly she should sleep with Jade, I'm gonna be here comment."

"It's all right, Trina, we know your opinion on the matter. It's not our choice to make. Jade, take you time, and don't rush into anything. Tori, we do have rules, even in special circumstances. While I want you to wait, I'm gonna trust you not to make this a friends with benefits kinda thing. If it's part of the relationship, enhancing the connection, I'll understand. As long as it's not just to get laid. And be discrete." David was full of surprises. Jade had no idea how he could be so understanding about his baby girl having sex.

That's when it hit her. They were discussing her and Tori making love (she decided that's what David said would be acceptable) in front of the whole Vega family like it was a normal family discussion. 'Next on the agenda, little Tammie wants to boff her boyfriend. Whats the family's opinion on the subject.' Jades thought used her gravelly old man voice. Then her imagination shifted to her normal voice. 'My god, how do they do this without everyone dying of embarrassment?' Jade wondered as she looked around the Vega family. To their credit, Tori was blushing and Trina looked uncomfortable. Holly looked a little shocked, but recovered quickly.

"Okay, now that its in the open, I think we do need to discuss this. Tori, it's inevitable you're going to want to consummate your relationship with Jade. I'd like to think that you'd date for a while first, but I realize you've been wanting her forever and maybe now you can have her. I agree with your father. Be sure it's for the right reasons when you to do it." Holly had trouble at the end. Only David seemed comfortable having this conversation.

'Is this part of his job, discussing teenage sex lives?' Jade thought. "If you don't mind, I'd like a say in this. I'm not sure when I'll be comfortable going all the way, so lets just agree to take it slow for now, Okay?"

"Please. Tori totally has you. Like just now, she groped you and you let her, and that's just your first kiss. You two will be doing the naked mambo before you know it. Just don't freak about it, okay. It's all right, you two are probably going to wind up married anyways." Trina was enjoying this far too much.

Jade paled at the thought. (Hard to tell on her complexion.) Yes, she might be willing to get married, but everything was happening too fast, and she was trying to mentally play catchup. This wasn't like physics, where she could run the equations and see if it added up. She swallowed, and forced herself to look at Tori.

"Relax. Trina's messing with you. Besides, I'll bet that's not whats freaking you out. I think it's the loss of control. Think about it. You're so used controlling everything, including yourself. You usually have to force yourself to do sex things, and yet I got to second base during our first kiss. I think you're worried that Trina's right and I'll be able to take you at will. Don't worry. I'll never ask you to do anything you're not totally comfortable doing. Besides, I've heard that seduction is the art of making you comfortable doing that kind of stuff. Even wanting it." Tori said with a devious smile, her voice turning a little husky towards the end. Jade thought about it for a second, and came to the conclusion that Tori was off. What was freaking her out was that this was risky, exposing herself like this, yet she trusted this family enough to sit when she wanted to run. She trusted Tori enough to put her safety, body, and her heart in the singers hands and assuming she wouldn't get hurt. Plus the whole family was discussing when the two of them should sleep together. That was freaky enough.

Jade took another deep breath and tried to change the subject "Tori, how about you and I meet up for dinner. Say Tuesday? I'd say Friday but then we'd have to wait a whole week, and I'm not doing that. So Tuesday, you, me, the Cheesecake Factory in Pasadena? Whada you say?" Jade smiled, feeling like she was taking control again. It was a time and place where her work friends would be, so it felt safe.

"I like that. For our second date." Tori still had that devious smile.

"Second? You're counting the stupid play date Sikowitz made us go on?" Jade asked.

"Okay, maybe what, our fourth date? I'm not sure what we've done that counts as a date. But whatever. I'm taking you out tonight. I'll be by your house at six thirtyish, and we'll go from there. Yes, I don't have a license, but I'll take care of transportation. You just make yourself pretty and enjoy the date." Tori said, the evil smile never leaving her lips.

"So sex by Friday?" Trina threw out.

"Trina" came from every other member of the Vega family.

'Not Friday, but defiantly sooner than I'd expect. Tori makes me feel so safe. I know I'll probably agree to it earlier rather than later. I just have to be sure that when it happens, I'll enjoy it.' Jade let herself get lost in her thoughts as the Vega's discussed the particulars of Her impending date. Only Tori remained silent, putting her arm around Jade and pulling the goth in for a little cuddling. Jade snapped out of her thoughts long enough to ask a question.

"So how do I dress?" She asked.

"Casually formal. A dress or top and skirt combination. Or something like the outfit you wore when you had the satellite picture retaken. Just tell Robbie to keep his hands off. You're mine tonight." Tori said, still smiling.

Jade squirmed at the memory. She did owe Robbie something for that moment, but decided to let it pass so as to avoid litigation. She would just continue to have him help her with whatever scheme she came up with at school as payment. In the middle of that thought chain, something broke. 'Tori's Catholic, right? Gays and Catholics don't mix.' Jade tried to ignore the thought as it shot to the forefront of her mind. 'Just don't bring it up' she decided with a firm resolution.

"Um, I hate to ask, but aren't you guys Catholic? I mean, this gay thing's a major no-no, right?" Jade asked with a sudden sense of nervousness.

"Not our church." David said. "I guess it's a schism of sorts, but where we attend church they even do gay weddings." He almost laughed until he saw the panic in Jades eyes. "No pressure." He said smirking. "You probably should get home so you can get ready for your date."

"So, later." Jade felt a strange mix of excitement and dread as she made her way out of the Vega household and to her car. She would have about five hours to prepare, and wanted to use every minute. She raced home to get ready, only to stop outside her house and hesitate. She still needed to do something. She pulled out her phone and hit redial.

"Hello Jade. I can't talk. I'm going over to Lenard's to play D&D in half an hour. If you're free, you should join us." Raj said calmly. This morning forgotten, or more likely stored away for a future argument.

"I made up with Tori. We're going out tonight." Jade said.

"Good for you. Now if you meet a hot actress or model or such interested in a nice quiet Desi man I'd appreciate an introduction." Raj said.

"They discussed our sex life. I mean our potential sex life. The point is, they discussed me and Tori sleeping together." Jade blurted out.

"What did they say?" It was the obvious question, but raj obliged.

"Mixed vote. Her sister thinks we should practically end our first date in bed screaming each others names, while her mother would like us to wait until we're in more of a relationship. Her father just wants it to be for the" Shifting to what would be a good approximation of David Vega's voice "Right reasons." Shifting back "I swear it was the freakiest thing I've ever dealt with, as far as parents are concerned."

"Speaking of awkward conversations, did you ever tell your parents you were raped?" Raj seemed to be angry, but kept some control on his emotions.

"And why would I?" Jade asked.

"Because, regardless of what you may think of them, they are your parents. They have the right to know what's been hurting you for years. It has, I assume? I know it may not be an easy topic, but some day I think you should tell them." Raj said.

"I need to get ready for my date. We'll discuss this later." Jade said. Raj had become more than a confidant. He was the one pushing for her open up to her family. She decided to go with the whole gay thing first. And before that, she had a date.


	21. Chapter 21: The First(ish) Date

Another chapter, and another chance to see what people think. The Big Bang folk will appear more in the next chapter.

:}

Jade was sitting in her living room, feeling anxious. 'I'm Jade fucking West. I don't do nervous. Especially not around Tori Vega. God I hope she's genital. Wait. I'm giving in already? Maybe I'm accepting I want her, and maybe I'm accepting I trust her, but no way I'm letting her take the lead in this relationship. Where is she.' Jade was driving herself crazy. She had surrendered control of the relationship over what, Sex? Yes, Tori was far more comfortable with their impending copulation, but that didn't give her the power. 'Okay, it kinda does. Funny, Tori never has the power when dating.' Jade was confused, nervous about the confusion, and mostly wanted Tori there so she could get on with whatever they were doing.

Somehow Jade had missed the car pulling up in front of her house until the heard someone knocking. Quickly she raced to the front door, only to hesitate for thirty seconds to give the impression she wasn't just waiting for Tori.

"Who is it?" she finally asked. 'You're next to the door, idiot. She'll know you're right here.' she scolded herself.

"Car service" a familiar voice answered.

"Andre?" Jade asked, quickly looking through the peephole. There her friend stood, dressed in a dark suit with a chauffeur's hat and dark glasses. Behind him was a dark late model sedan. Jade had to struggle not to laugh.

"Jade, could you please open up the door. I look foolish enough standing here waiting when you're right there." He said.

"I'm not decent." She replied.

"I don't mind." He said with a smirk. "Just hurry up so we can go. Their waiting for you."

"Wait, what?" Jade asked.

"I don't have many details. I just pick you up, drop you off, and someone will come pick you up for the return when you're done. There might be a trip in the middle." He said. The door opened and Jade looked him in the eye. Andre lost his thoughts for a second, taking in the view of Jade dressed up in her Dark sleeveless top, black skirt, stockings and black heels. She looked coiffed withing an inch of her life, a slight curl in her black hair with the red and blue extensions giving her hair that extra color. He would later be thankful for not saying what he was thinking.

"I though you'd be staying." She said. 'Car services stay, right, like limos.' Jade thought.

"Nope." He said. Her question seemed to knock him out of his stupor.

"Why not?" Jade asked.

Andre sighed. He knew he'd have to tell her a lot for her to understand. "I have a friend who owns a small limo and car service. Sometimes on the weekends he needs extra drivers. Unfortunately, because of my age can't work later than ten PM. Finish early and I might be the guy picking you up, but otherwise I'm just a one way ride." He flashed her his best smile.

"That can't be true. Lots of kids work late on the weekends." she said as he led her to the car.

"Yea, but their not driving people. I can only do this on a limited basis until I'm twenty one. Still, it's good money, Twenty dollars per hour plus tips." He said as he opened the door for her. She slid into the back of the car, then he closed the door. He quickly went around the car to the drivers side and got in. Once he was sitting he spoke again. "Seat-belts. Company policy." She buckled up, and he started the car.

"So, if you don't mind my asking, whats the occasion?" He asked as soon as the car was moving.

"Date. Wasn't expecting a town-car." Jade said, forgetting her friend wasn't totally in the loop yet.

"Anybody I know? I mean, who's the lucky fella." Andre asked trying not to sound too serious.

"Tori." Jade breathed out. The car skidded to a stop as he slammed on the breaks, simultaneously guiding the car out of the road and onto the shoulder. 'Good anti-lock breaks. They must have taught him some serious road safety.' Jade passive observed the whole reaction.

"You're dating Tori? Okay, this'll probably cost me my tip, and please don't kill the driver, but I just gotta know what you have on her to make this happen? Or did Sikowitz somehow get you two to do a summer project?" He was trying to process what he had heard.

"Actually, she asked me. I didn't want this, but she holds part of my heart. I think Beck gave it to her." Jade said. 'We'll, he took that well.'

"Right. So where are you going?" He asked.

"You're driving. You tell me." She replied.

"Wait, Beck gave her your heart? Whats that mean?" He asked as they started moving again.

"Tell me where we're going and I'll tell you." She replied.

"Olivia's. It's a restaurant, I think. GPS will get us there." He said.

"Beck set us up. He even told her to try and get into my pant's." Jade said.

"How do you know this?" He asked. His world just got weird.

"She admitted it all this morning, when she set up this date." Jade knew it was technically a lie, but didn't want to go too into details about last night.

"So you agreed? I mean, it's not like you've been the best of friends. I used to think you two needed a referee in the room to keep you from killing her. And Tori tends to stand her ground, even when it's obvious that it'll cost her." Andre said as they drove along.

"That's the thing. I respect her, even when I don't agree with her. That plus my pride got me used to coming to her when I had problems. At first I didn't want my cool friends to know, back when she was new and not one of Sinjin's so called 'Main People'. After a while, it somehow got to the point where I told her things I wasn't telling Beck. When we broke up, he had already pegged her to take his place. He knew. That's why when I told him I was bisexual, he wasn't surprised at all." Jade said, watching her friend for his reaction.

"When did you tell him? I mean, when did you know for sure?" he asked as he drove, glancing back at her through the mirror stations just for that purpose. He was not used to so much private communication in the group, but then again they were friends, and friends keep secrets from each other.

"Last Saturday at the beach, while we were getting food. He told me he was sure he'd have to do something drastic to get me to realize my sexuality, and now I know what he meant." Jade said. "This isn't freaking you out, is it?"

"The part about you dating Tori kinda did, but the rest just flows along with it. I can see Beck thinking about your happiness, even during your breakup. I'm just glad you're not bitter." He said.

"Just keep that in mind for after I set him up. I figured out just who would suit his needs, and it's no one you guys would ever suspect." Jade said with a smile. Andre just drove for the next few minutes, with only the sound of the GPS telling him where to turn coming from the front. Jade let the silence stand, watching the world flow by as they drove. As they approached the restaurant, a hole in the wall type establishment, Andre spoke up.

"Trina. He likes difficult girls, and she's about as difficult as anyone I know." He said. Jade was floored. She had no Idea he'd guess her. Seeing her face in his mirror, "Oh my chiz, I'm right? I though it was a stab in the dark. Someone I would never suspect. It could have been Poesy for all I knew." He probably had more, but Jade cut him off.

"Don't tell anyone. Tori doesn't know. I've been working with Trina to help her better self come out, and I don't need anyone spoiling my big reveal. There's a lot more to her than just being difficult. She cares about Tori, and I'm helping her become comfortable with that caring side. With a little effort she's becoming the kind of girl I'd trust to keep Beck on his toes." She said. They stopped and He got out to open her door, but she had already opened it and was getting out of the car. "Are you sure you can't stay? I might want to talk again later, and Tori will be thrilled."

"Can't. They don't let me. I'm like a cab. I have another pickup in twenty minutes, and from there I could wind up anywhere. It was nice to talk with you, and I'm glad you trusted me with this. We'll talk soon. I want all the deets." He said as he got back in the car, started it up and started to drive away. She spent a few seconds watching the car shrink into the distance before venturing into Olivia's.

'I guess Tori already paid. I wonder where she's getting the money, or is Trina behind this.' Jades thought were broken by the first view inside the restaurant. It was small, barely a dozen tables and booths. A lightning fast count confirmed seating for 43 comfortably. She also noticed that the room was nearly full, as well as curtains towards the back that obviously led to the restrooms and probably a storage room. The waitress was identified only by her apron, otherwise having dressed comfortably. Jade felt massively overdressed. As the waitress approached, Jade spoke. "I'm looking for Tori Vega."

"Right this way" the lady said, and led her towards the curtains. Once through she noticed a couple of open doorways covered by curtains on one side of the hall, as well as the bathroom and supply closet on the other. She was led to the first room, and found Tori sitting at a small table. The room was intimate, with barely space for the two person table plus room to get to the seats. They both had to be seated for the waitress to be in the room to take their order.

Tori was wearing a nice outfit, a light blue dress with matching feather earrings and black pumps. She looked incredible sitting there, waiting for Jade. As the goth sat down, she was handed a menu and they were asked what they wanted to drink. Tori ordered coffee, lemonade and water for Jade, and just lemonade and water for herself. Jade was again struck by how Tori was just taking charge, and it was making her feel very uncomfortable.

"I can order for myself, Vega." she said.

"I know. I just wanted to save time. They make authentic Mexican food, as well as some Italian. Just no Pizza. I've hears it's kinda Mexicanized Italian. I recommend you avoid the Taco's since there far different than what you're used to. Maybe an enchilada salad, or the burrito's are good here." Tori said, trying to help.

"I mean it. I can take care of myself." Jade said again.

Tori sighed. "I know that. I know once we start dating you'll get your footing and start deciding things for us. I also know that once we get intimate, you need to be the girl. I'm just establishing that I'm not submissive now while you need me to be more dominate. I'll save the sex part until I get that package I ordered this afternoon." Tori seemed to have mastered that evil smile of hers.

"Wait, what?" Jade said.

"One part at a time." Tori replied.

"Okay, how about you tell me what makes you think I need to be the girl." It was a statement, but Tori didn't mind.

"What do you think. While you're at work, Becks been making me take Jade 101. I know how he says you like your sex, how you like to be in control outside of sex, and even what gets sensitive when. I didn't ask, didn't want to know, but still got a b on the quiz." Tori laughed at her own joke, only to notice Jade's glare. "I'm sorry if I was out of bounds. I want this to be as easy as possible for you." Tori said.

It was Jades turn to sigh. "Oh chiz, now I know why you have had such a hard time in relationships. I mean besides attracting users and losers. Tori, love isn't easy. The trick is learning what you have to accept and what you can't and hoping that the person who gets your heart doesn't have too many of those traits that drive you crazy. I mean, like me. Don't just strive to make me happy. If I wanted that, I'd have dated Sinjin, or a better looking version of him." Tori chuckled at Jades joke. "Beck challenged me. If he wasn't such a child, always wanting to be reminded of all the girls he could have if he wanted them, then we'd have broken up anyways because I did just what I'm telling you not to do. I tried to put his happiness first, often getting crabby because he was my happiness. It was more than just the sex. Would you believe, during those months when we were apart, I refused to even think about anyone else. I didn't think I could be happy with anyone else, until Moose came along and ruined that. But during that time I was a better person because my happiness wasn't linked to Becks. A bitter, bitchy gank but still easier to get along with. But when I got back together with him, I became worse. I believed that without him I was just the dark goth bitch. I always felt like I was losing him, and he would wake up one day and see that he could do so much better. I was trying to be what he wanted; Hot, difficult, demanding, loving, loyal, and available. Being with him was supposed to make everything better, normal. If I'd have known..." Jade just stopped.

The next few minutes were spent with neither talking. Jade and Tori both digested Jades little rant, and when the waitress came Tori just ordered for both of them to give Jade a chance to think. She had opted for the Enchilada salads, with steak, since it was easy and hopefully quick. Tori watched Jade as she tried to make sense of her own speech. She guessed Jade needed to hear it as badly as she did. Tori still was trying to figure out where this pearl of wisdom had come from. She wanted to ask so much, but decided to wait it out and see where this led to. That lasted a total of five minutes.

After the silence had stretched for over five minutes, Tori decided that she had let Jade think long enough. Jade was in her head, working through some new insights, and she wanted to be included. The new Jade was hers, and whatever her girlfriend had figured out needed to be shared. Besides, maybe Jade would benefit from talking it out.

"So tell me, what does all that mean. I mean, what did you learn. I want to be with you, so I guess a little venting on your ex is to be expected." Tori smiled.

"I'm sorry. I still kinda love him, but now I see how much I tortured myself to try to both interest him and be what he wanted. But he wanted me, and I never saw it. I only saw the image I tried to portray. Hot, cool, and desirable. And yet I loved that everyone feared me. But I needed someone to love me, and the more desirable the someone the more I felt normal, like maybe no one would judge me for being a freaky weirdo. I used him, and paid him off with sex. And even that hurt him." Jade felt the guilt hit her for a moment, as black waves of despair rolled through her mind.. Then she let it go, using techniques her therapist taught her, because Beck would want her to move on.

"Go on" Tori said, smiling. Jade was in pain, but she hoped it was bringing them together.

"I need to go after what I want, and I want love. I'm attracted to you. I want to be with you, and I know I could love you. I just need to keep from losing myself in that identity. I'll be Jade West, the bad ass in love with Tori Vega. We'll do things together, but also do things apart. You'll have your own interests, and be Tori Vega, the hot Latina in love with Jade West." Jade smiled at the thought. She wasn't there yet, but that was the goal. And that was the opening Tori would use.

"So what I'm hearing is you want all of me, warts and all?" Tori said. Then she continued. "But doing things apart, isn't that a risk. I mean, we should share everything. Hobbies, friends, etc. It doesn't sound like a relationship otherwise." Tori said.

"And who would you give up? I mean, Sherwood. You had friends, right? Whens the last time you hung out with any of them? Do you want to? If you met a nice girl, in a platonic way, and wanted to be her friend, should I be jealous? Insist on going with you? Or trust you and give you some space?" Jade asked.

"I see that point. But can you? Your the most jealous person I know." Tori said.

"So I'm learning to trust. I believe I can trust you, and I believe you wouldn't hurt me, or make me think something could be happening. Right? That's the thing, beyond the attraction, that makes me think we could work." Jade said. 'Wow, did I just say all that? My god, when and where did I learn this chiz, cause I needed it years ago.'

"So give you some time, right? Are you feeling better?" Tori asked.

"That depends. What did you order and how scared should I be." Jade asked.

"A sex toy, advert claimed it would allow girls to do it missionary. You'd be amazed whats available on line." Tori said, still smiling. Jade tried not to look nervous. Tori was defiantly taking control of their sex lives. Their food arrived ending the heavy conversation.

The two girls made light conversation while they ate. It was a needed change from the heavy talk they just had.. They found that the food was very good, and the service was the right mix of there when needed while giving them space to talk. They talked about things they both knew, and they talked about new stuff. Jade found out that Tori has a cousin on her fathers side who loves checking out new places, and he found this restaurant. Tori found out about Andre's driving Jade. It soon became obvious that they knew so much and so little about each other. Much of the standard first date conversation they both knew, but they just used it as an excuse to get to know each other better. After the meal, they called for the town car, asked for Andre, and were told it would be about thirty minutes. They decided they wanted to just drive around until ten, and that would be all right. So they went to a small coffee shop down the road to wait. Tori decided they still needed to cover some things.

"Jade, I'm enjoying this date, but I need to make sure something's understood. I want us to be together. I think Trina's right, and we could last. I don't want to rush things, but I suspect that we'll be intimate before we'd otherwise if we didn't know each other so well. Now, I promise I won't seduce you before your birthday, but after that we'll just have to see what happens. I want you to be comfortable with whatever happens. However, I want to be together, if possible, by the start of school, and I'd like to have worked out the getting to know you part early" Tori said as they sat on a couch and watched the people around them.

"We'll, we are getting to know each other." Jade said.

"Sorry. I meant getting to know your body. I want to confirm that if I touch you in certain places I'll get the reaction I want. And you might want to learn where to touch me that makes me wet." Tori managed to say all of that looking Jade in the eye. "I'll warn you now that if I'm feeling it, I can have a hell of a sex drive."

Jade felt herself swallow at that statement. 'Damn, it's too late. I'm falling for her, and now I find out she's gonna wanna screw my brains out.' Fear of disappointing Tori filled Jade once again.

"Sweety, FYI, don't think about faking it. I don't want you to do anything you don't want to. I'm just telling you that you will want to do it." Tori said. Once more, Jade gulped. They proceeded to try to make small talk for the next twenty minutes, but Jade had to admit she felt like Tori was looking at her like a piece of meat. Finally Andre showed up, and they got into the car and drove.

"So girls, I was wondering, since I'm not taking money, who's paying for your trip tonight?" Andre asked. Jade was curious, and thankful for the distraction.

"Mason" Tori replied. Jade's head shot around so fast she almost hurt herself.

"Mason? Thornsmith? As in Platinum Music Awards?" she asked.

"I was surprised at how much he wants us to be a couple. Didn't ask why, didn't care." Tori replied.

The three friends spent the next hour enjoying a drive around a few of the scenic sights most natives never bother to look up, and they all thoroughly enjoyed themselves. Finally, Andre had to start dropping them off so he could return the car and clock out. Jade was dropped off first, and Tori walked her to her door.

"From here on in, you control the dates." Tori said, giving that evil smile again. "I'm just glad I could give you a nice memory." She said, then she cupped Jades face and slowly leaned in for a kiss. Jade met her half way, and they enjoyed a brief but deep kiss. "Bye. I'll call you tomorrow, Okay?" Tori said, heading back to the car. Jade could only nod. Tori got back in the car and soon they were speeding off. Jade wasn't used to getting home from a date this early, but felt that maybe it was for the best. She walked up to her bedroom and as she reviewed the date, was suddenly thankful for Andre's question. He had dispelled the awkwardness and vulnerability she had felt about Tori's admission of wanting to seduce her. And just as quickly, She was all right with that.

:}

Am I the only one who's had that moment, where what I'm saying includes advice I realize I should be listening to? Also, I firmly believe in two complete people in a relationship. That way, neither one is lacking. Whats your thoughts?


	22. Chapter 22: Lenards favor

I apologize to the world, but it's true. Physics classes in collage often grade an A at less than 50%. My brother knew someone at one of the U.C.'s who got a 90+% on one of those classes, and was a graduate student (in physics) before he knew what was happening. Physics can be like that.

Oh yea, I don't own anything.

I might have modified some things from the Big Bang Theory to fit my time lines.

:}

Tuesdays class was going well. The students were used to Jade's pace, and were able to absorb the material. Her quiz was graded and it looked good. That is to say, her students did well enough without her grading on a curve. Jade didn't believe in the curve, since by default that failed half her students. She did modified straight percentages. It still bothered her that a class like this could study hard and still do poorly on a test. She never understood why a high score on a physics exam was under fifty percent. She accepted that some things just were hard for other people, and to never again talk to her colleagues about how easy the quiz was. Lenard and Sheldon both were on her case about how easy she had made the quiz.

She took a moment during the morning break to think about her life. She had spend a great deal of Sunday on the phone with Tori. Of course, while Tori was in church she had to find something else to do, so participated in the weekly paintball games. She was getting better, and after doing some reading decided to focus on her strengths. She found high ground and was a sniper the entire time. Penny was still better at it, but Jade found a dark satisfaction in playing "God" (As the sniper is frequently referenced by special forces and SWAT) and watching everyone's back. She even saved Penny from a flank attack. After, she had gone swimming with her high school friends. Tori hosted, and the two made out a bit. Jade liked that part.

Monday was her usual busy day, and Jade had the added burden of mixed news. For everybody but her and Sheldon it was great news. Lenard had been accepted on Hawking's team for the deep water hydrodynamic experimental expedition in the North Sea, and would be gone for two or more months. Sheldon was dying of jealousy, and Jade was worried about losing one of her friends. She depended on Lenard to be the sane one in her life, at least in that group. His going away was disturbing to her. The worst part was he would be leaving by the end of the week, so he wouldn't be there for her seventeenth birthday. Jade knew it was a fantastic opportunity, but was still bummed. Secretly she hoped this didn't make her the sane one in the group, because then everyone else would depend on her to be their anchor. She liked being the unpredictable angry one in the group. She would put worrying about it off and ask Tori to come with her to his going away party on Friday.

So here it was, Tuesday, and she needed to get through her class so she could talk with her therapist. After that, she had her office hours followed by her date. Jade wanted it to be special, but also to show Tori that her adult friends were fun to hang around, or at least weren't losers. She had planned a little something after dinner, including a drive to a beach where she had heard there would be a bonfire. Jade was of course concerned for their safety, but had been assured that the police would be there and that everything would be fun. She also was carrying three pairs of scissors, so she felt armed.

Class came to an end with Jade warning them that the final was comprehensive, and would be the second week in August. Her class groaned, but no one complained. Keven looked concerned, but that was because he'd be grading it. 'Monkey had better do his job, since he won't get me coffee.' Jade then went to lunch, joining her friends in congratulating Lenard. Sheldon was still going on about the dangers of the ocean. Jade rolled her eyes, mentioned something about dolphin rape gangs, and left it at that. After lunch, Lenard walked Jade to her car.

"Jade, Sheldon's taken a liking to you. I mean, it's rare. To him, either everyone's an idiot, or they're a threat. Sometimes both. He seems to see you as more of a friend." Lenard was obviously leading up to something.

"He see's me as a useful resource he doesn't like to share and who he can bore to tears with his idea of good advice. I get better mentoring from my coffee maker." Jade said. She smirked just a little, sighed and continued. "I suppose he means well, and that he really believes he's helping me."

"That's the point. He trusts you. Well as much as he trusts anyone. So I was wondering, to take some of the pressure off Penny, could you be there for him while I'm gone?" Lenard asked. That was the favor, saving Penny from the rampaging ego of Doctor Cooper.

"And there it is. You know what, no." Jade looked Lenard in the eye, just for a second. "I see the way he treats you, and I'd probably throw him out the window the first night." she said, trying to avoid sounding like a sociopath. They continued walking and she waved to Dave the coffee kiosk guy as she came by, stopping to pay for the coffee he had ready for her. Normally they'd talk for a second, but Lenard was there and Jade didn't need him trying to look down her shirt.

"Funny you should mention nights. He's going to need someone to spend the night occasionally. Just so Penny won't have to drive him to and from work each day. C'mon, just until your school starts. Please?" Lenard said. He continued hoping to convince the scary girl to help. "He just needs you for transportation, maybe some companionship, and to scare away...um...well considering it's you, I'd say just about everyone. But he likes it that way." Lenard was surprisingly good at begging. Jade suspected Penny was responsible for that. She quickly cleaned her thoughts.

"I'll spend the night, sometimes. But I want the right to bring my girlfriend. I'm not going to be able to guarantee his survival without getting laid." She said. Lenard didn't even blink.

"Great. Come buy before the end of the week to sign the roommate agreement." Lenard said. By this point they were at Jades car, and she had no time or intention to argue about a roommate agreement. She would just modify it later. A quick drive found her at her therapists office.

Her therapist was intrigued about the whole Vega family meeting and how comfortable they were talking about her sex life. While she wanted to overcome the lingering trauma from being raped, her therapist insisted they talk about this and some related issues. The elephant in the room had to be addressed. Jades parents. She hadn't yet told them about liking girls, still liking guys, or the dirty thoughts that have been multiplying in her head seemingly exponentially. The whole 'I was raped' conversation was going to be a lot harder. Her therapist asked if they knew she was in therapy, and they didn't. Her family was becoming the big obstacle Jade would have to overcome if she wanted to move forward with her life. Their opinions of her the last chain holding her back from letting go of everything. Jade would need more time to process everything, but the initial complaints around the rape were quickly resolving. Other issues would be worked on in connection to the sense of violation and loss of power, and through it Jade would grow stronger. Jade was a willing subject, open to talking about everything, so the process was moving quickly.

Two hours later Jade returned to Caltech to put in her office hours. She felt exhausted, but cleansed. It was like this after most of her therapy sessions. She was still running simulations for members of the department, but had gotten enough ahead of them all that she was able to work on her own theories. She was also observing another phenomenon while at work. She was fascinated by the roll of seemingly unrelated pastimes in research, but had to admit the toy dart gun fight she got in with Sheldon did help her clear her head. He seemed to require a lot of toys to break his thought chains and allow him a fresh perspective. Other strange pastimes had emerged, and gossip was one of them. So she was not surprised when she saw Sheldon at her office door. Alex was there as well, but kept her distance.

"I've brought you a copy of the roommate agreement." He said, smiling.

'That was fast' Thought Jade. "Ever had a female roommate? Living with your parents doesn't count."

"I have a twin sister. Why?" Sheldon asked.

"Learn to listen. Sisters don't count, unless you shared a bathroom with them past your eighteenth birthday. Did you? I thought so. And so I know this document is flawed. As a girl I have special needs." Jade replied.

"Like tampons and special yogurt?" Sheldon said.

Jade responded through gritted teeth. "Give me a PDF of the damn contract, and I'll modify it." She forced herself to relax. "And if your worried that I'm gonna ruin your life or your precious schedule, don't. It's just, well I'm a delicate flower, and I'll need special consideration." She said, managing to smile. Alex tried not to look too skeptical, but it was obvious. "Alex! FYI, I'm soft and feminine, GOT IT! So no rolling your eyes." Alex reacted by trying to hide behind Sheldon. She doubted he could stop Jade, but the goth just might hesitate before ripping him apart. As long as he didn't open his mouth.

"I see no reason you would need a special contract. I'm very egalitarian." Sheldon said, and Alex almost gagged on her own tong.

Jade stepped forward, looking Sheldon straight in the eye. "Don't you trust me?" she was almost breathing fire. "You should. You just don't understand women. Have your girlfriend explain why I changed things when I send the file back. Then we'll sign the new contract before the end of the week, after my fathers bosses lawyer finishes modifying it. That way, it'll be fair and we'll both feel safe." Jade took another step forward, backing Sheldon into Alex. Her voice grew low and intense for the next part. "It's important to know your roommate wont do anything... horrific in the middle of the night. Watch 'The Scissoring', it's my favorite movie, and it'll give you some ideas about what I mean." Jade ended with a predatory smirk.

Sheldon gulped, imagining the implications of Jade words. He's hadn't watched 'The Scissoring', but then again he didn't watch much horror. He did know what genre it belonged to, and had no trouble guessing what she might be referring to. Sheldon retreated.

"Lenard, I'm not so sure this is a good idea." Sheldon called as he fled from Jades office, almost tripping over his assistant.. Alex took the moment to run. Jade just laughed. She may not be his roommate, but if she was, she would have her space. She emailed a copy of the agreement to her Father along with a request for him to ask one of the lawyers his boss had to look it over.

It was towards the end of her office hours when she got the PDF back from the lawyer, along with a comment on rush jobs. It was a long contract, and Jade was shocked it got back to her that day. She was hoping to have it before Friday, and knowing how long it can take, had asked for the rush job. A quick look confirmed the changes as well as ensuring her that the contract was both fair and covered Jade's roll of part time roommate. Some of Sheldon's restrictions seemed arbitrary, but if it was obvious they wouldn't make a difference then she had them leave those in. They only needed to change what affected her life.

She then made a few calls, to cover a couple of details she had thought of over the last few hours. If she could get other people to give Sheldon a ride on some of the days, that would satisfy Lenard's requirements about taking the pressure off Penny. She would also ask some of Trina's friends to help out, since they had graduated and were now either going to collage (A lot did) or finding work to support them as they pursued their dreams. Anyone who could help out was contacted. Finally, she called Stuart.

"Stuart, I've been thinking about your problem. The cost of running your shop is obviously hurting you. I think you just need to add some high revenue items that everyone might buy. Impulse buys. Gum, soda's, and other sundries. I'll send you the results of the research I've done. Apparently Gas stations make a fair amount of profit off that chiz. Hopefully it's make you enough money for you to move out and hire somebody, giveing you some time off. Let me know how it works out." Jade said. She wanted to ask his help with Sheldon, but the man had so little free time as is. 'If I ever make a comic themed movie, I'll make an appearance at his place.' She then sought out Lenard.

"Hay, Lenard, I just wanted to let you know I'm looking around and finding people to give Sheldon a ride. With luck, he'll have a ride to and from work every day until you get back, and I won't have to strap him to my roof." Jade said.

"I don't think that's a good idea. Sheldon doesn't just ride with anyone. I'm sure Penny will be happy to give him a ride whenever she can, and you just need to help him get home." Lenard had more to say, but Jade cut him off.

"Got that covered. Most of them will be from the department or kids who owe me favors. Big favors. Shapero's lucky he doesn't have a car right now. Sheldon will be introduced to them before he's offered a ride, and given a chance to bore them silly with his factoids. That way we'll move him to work, home or wherever without wazzing anyone off too much. If I don't have to drive him too often, then everyone wins. Or I win. That's the important part. Also, I'll be using your place as a crash pad until the end of summer so Penny gets to have some time away from Sheldon." Jade said. She knew it was far from over, since she still had to get Sheldon to sign her version of the roommate agreement. Still, that would be easier than explaining the arrangement to her brothers. They barely saw each other as is.

Leaving a still concerned Lenard, she went back to her office to make sure everything was ready. Instead, she thought about hosting her brothers for a sleepover. Just how to get Sheldon to abandon the apartment for a weekend. 'I could scare him, but I still need to work with him. Maybe Amy could...Not a chance.'

Jade was pulled out of her thoughts by a knocking at her door. It was rhythmic bot lacked a definitive pattern, so she had no idea who it could be. 'Still office hours. Damn, I have to answer it.' Jade thought grumbled to herself.

As she opened the door just enough to see who was there, she thought.. 'Gotta get a peep hole.' and then Jade was looking at the pronounced cheekbones of the girl who was close to owning her heart. 'She put in a good bid for it.' Jade smiled, both at her inner monologue's joke and at the sight of Tori.

"Hi, I know you wanted to pick me up, but I got a ride from Andre. He had an interview for another job today and was going to be in the neighborhood." Tori looked spectacular. Jade was captivated by the simple yet beautiful sight before her. Tori Vega looked good in almost anything, and her understated outfit of a light blouse and Skinny jeans accented her look.

'Especialy that Ass.' Jade thought. 'But how much better will she look in almost nothing.' The thoughts were followed by a disturbingly accurate estimation. Jade was usually good at guessing what people looked like naked, but it was rarely a handicap since she was in denial so much of her life. Now she was grateful for working with men who were good at killing her sex drive. Jade had allowed work to become a sanctuary from those thoughts that made her feel dirty. 'Well, dirtier.'

"So we have a choice. Either we go out on this date, or we find out if your office is soundproof." Tori's statement snapped Jade out of her head.

"I don't think that's a good idea. I need to focus in here. C'mon. I'll just get my coat and you can tell me what Andre is doing this time." Jade said as she opened the door, walked to her coat-rack, retrieved her leather jacket, and lead her girlfriend out of the office. Once the door was locked they headed towards Jades car.

"Andre heard about a restaurant that needs a piano player. He's hoping to get the gig, and that they'll let him work the dinner shift, as long as he's done by eleven. The pay at those places is okay, probably better than selling yogurt, but he'll also get tips." Tori explained. "So were you imagining me naked?"

Jade first impulse was to lie, but Tori deserved the truth. "My mind has a mind of it's own. Or something like that. Whats important is I'm gonna show you a good time." Jade said, missing the double entendre.

"Awe, is little Jadey concerned? If your still worried about who's the man, don't be. I'll be gentle." Tori said as they walked. She then started smiling. "Give me a kiss."

"No." Jade said as they got to her car.

"No? Why? I mean, why not?" Tori whined.

"Because I'm the man, and I'll decide when we kiss. Besides, I don't like being teased." Jade said. Then she leaned over and kissed Tori quickly. "Be good and there will be more later."

As they drove, Jade thought about Tori. The girl was a goof, but she still loved her. 'Wait, did I just use the L word!' She started to panic, but got control over it almost immediately. 'This is too soon. Okay, you've been building feelings for this girl forever, and sometimes the connection morphs quickly. And if I've learned anything from Penny, it's that the heart will chose and sometimes you just go with it. That and a lack of talent leads to waitressing at the Cheesecake Factory.'

Tori had noticed Jades momentary distress, but let it go since she knew Jade was going through a lot at this time. She smiled as her imagination started going through everything she wanted to do to her goth. She had read two books on lesbian sex, as well as watching one so called promotional video that was just porn. The books had told her sex was never like porn. Still, for Jade, she had done her research, and wanted to be ready when the moment came. Tori was as trapped in her thoughts as her girlfriend, but she was getting far more aroused.

Once they arrived and parked, Tori gave her best eyes, flirting like crazy. She needed contact, and didn't want to say anything since Jade was being so defiant. It took her less than thirty seconds to get the first kiss, and they made out in Jade's car for a good ten minutes. Jade was quickly on the defensive once she realized where Tori's hands were going. They managed to keep it to some not quite discreet groping before parting.

Tori felt frustrated. She needed to cool down. As they went into the restaurant and were led to their seats, she thought of the least sexy thing she could to gain some self control. Her grandmother having sex quickly scarred her imagination, and she was in control.

Jade had enjoyed the contact outside, but felt she was losing control again. 'Just stay in control. Your the man. Well, I'm a girl, but in this relationship, I'm the man. Damn she's gonna so own me.' Jade's thoughts were disrupted by Tori's whole body shivering, like someone had walked across her grave. "Whats wrong?" Jade wanted to know.

"I just had to get a thought out of my head. Won't be trying that again." Tori half answered, looking just a shade paler.

"What did you do this time?" Jade asked, nodding hello to her colleagues at their table.

"I didn't want to pressure you, so I imagined my grandmother with my grandfather. I may never have sex again." Tori said, feeling just a little sick.

"Too bad. My breasts are so soft and full, and now I'll never have anyone sucking on them." Jade teased.

"I hate you." Tori moaned. Jade smirked.

"But you still want me, right?" Jade asked in a flirtatious tone.

"Please stop. My manager is trying to dissuade people from screwing in the bathrooms." Penny said. "Oh, yea, my name is Penny and I'll be your server tonight. Can I start you off with some drinks? Or maybe I can poor some ice water over you." Jade gave the server a glare, but her heart wasn't in it.

After their drink orders, Penny left them to talk.

"I'm glad you felt safe enough to take me here. I was worried it would be full of bad memories." Tori said.

"Like what?" Jade asked.

"This is where you were outed as a PhD. The entire school knew by the next day. It was the start of everything. Your admitting that you were... violated. Your admitting your bisexuality. For the record, no imagining anyone naked but me. Too much competition." Tori smiled as she said that.

"No competition whatsoever. I trust you. I know you wont hurt me, and I want to make you happy. I know I have to take care of myself so I don't hurt the one I love by proxy. I just want us to find that comfortable level of uncomfortable that builds...Oh chiz." Jade stopped, face dropping into her hands as Tori's smile grew, threatening to consume her whole face.

"When did it happen? I mean, I thought it would be a while. When did you know?" Tori asked. She wanted to gloat, but Jade was still too fragile for that. Once Jade got used to the idea of them as a couple, then the teasing would begin. She so owed Jade.

"I knew for certain in the drive over here. I can't believe I lost." Jade probably had more, but Tori wasn't taking that.

"Jade! You just admitted to loving me first. Losing's not the point. Whatever advantage you thought getting me to say it first was gonna give you doesn't exist. I knew I had you after our first kiss. Knowing you love me just makes it...Right. I never wanted this to be about lust." Tori said, smiling. "Oh, and Jade, I love you too."

Suddenly losing didn't matter so much.

:}

I realized I was losing Jades voice. I hope I'm finding it again.

Reviews welcome. So is cash. Since I don't want to tell you where I live, I'll settle for the reviews.


	23. Chapter 23: Of contracts and family

Disclamers: 1) I don't own any of theres characters.

2) I think some of this is funny.

:}

Jade was annoyed. After her wonderful date with Tori, her week had gone downhill. She had followed dinner with a beach party and they both had a wonderful time, only for the Sheldon situation to escalate. Jade had sent Sheldon her revised roommate agreement by Wednesday morning, and they had been arguing and negotiating the rest of the week. She had resorted to her fathers bosses lawyers, again, and Sheldon countered with the schools lawyers. That lasted until the two lawyers talked, all of one phone call. So here they were on a Friday afternoon, sitting in the Human Resources office with Lenard, like school children who couldn't settle their differences and so had to be called into the office to make peace. Mrs. Jeanine Davis was now playing the role of the authority figure in this little squabble while, much to Jade dismay, her father was there watching the drama unfold.

Mrs. Davis looked far less than happy in her current role. "Let me see if I understand the situation. Doctor Hofstadter is Doctor Cooper's roommate. But since Doctor Hofstadter is going away for a few months," to Lenard "Congratulations on being selected for Doctor Hawkings team, by the way." Back to the room in general. "So Doctor West is offering to fill in part time to help with transport and keep Doctor Cooper from going completely crazy. Doctor Hofstadter's words, not mine" She said the last part straight to Sheldon, then paused to look around. Sheldon looked a bit miffed, and Jade so wanted to say 'too late.' Then, taking a deep breath and relying on her years of experience dealing with these wackjobs, Mrs. Davis continued in a calm voice. "Doctor Cooper has an informal roommate's agreement, DON'T INTERUPT ME, Doctor Cooper." The preemptive statement stopped Sheldon just before he stated his objection. Mrs. Davis's glare was intimidating, almost equal to Jades. "Doctor West asked a lawyer to help make sure the contract wasn't unfair to her needs, thus making it a lot less informal, and in retaliation Doctor Cooper asked university lawyers to represent his interests. Now the whole thing has been dumped on my lap, as if my life wasn't crazy enough. Thank you Doctor Gablehauser for the extra work." She looked to see that everyone was caught up. "Now, I looked over every copy of the agreement, and I've made some modifications to one that I feel supports everyone's best interests. Would you all please read over the document."

They all started, Jade reading on her phone, while Lenard and Sheldon were using document readers, and Mr. West had a hard copy. Several minutes passed as they reviewed the new document. Mrs. Davis used the time to reflect on this situation. A contract for temporary roommates seemed particularly crazy, and she would have just ignored the whole thing, except it was a feud between two of the physics departments bigger names. Both child prodigies (Current and former) brought extra funding and prestige to the school, and it was decided that this problem needed to be handled quickly before it escalated and Doctor Wests talents for revenge were unleashed. Jeanine had no desire to have the police in here after the goth unleashed some form of revenge that might leave the area unlivable for the next thousand years. Thus she had cut down the agreement to just the most pertinent points.

"Mrs. Davis, I must object. I see multiple clauses I absolutely need removed from this document." Sheldon started. He didn't get to continue.

"Most wouldn't make a difference. Doctor Cooper, I've kept in you schedule, with minimal modifications to reflect that Doctor West will be living there part time, as well as her age and gender. I also included a no horror film reenactment clause, but only at the recommendations of one Vice Principal Dickers from Hollywood Arts. I see no reason for most of the removed provisions." Mrs. Davis said. Mr. West didn't react at all.

"Besides, the time travel one is whack. It's been in your contract for what, your last several roommate's? You're obviously not gonna do it. Why do I need to tell you if I do." Jade said.

Mrs. Davis shook her head. Had her life really come to this, playing referee to faculty who were acting like children. A small part of her hoped Jade never figured out time travel, sense the girl would definitely abuse it. "Look. This contract has the full support of the university. It guarantees, among other things, that neither of you would enter the bedroom of the other unless specifically asked to. I think it's the best we'll ever get, and in addition to solving your problems, it gets you out of my office. Any questions?" The whole thing was frustrating.

"What about the girlfriend clause. She has a girlfriend, and could well be cohabitation the whole time." Sheldon stated. Jade glanced back at her father, but he didn't react at all.

"Tori and I have only been on a couple of dates. I see no reason for her to have to sign that stupid agreement. I'll just make sure she respects you space and your schedule. Okay?" Jade shot back quickly, still glancing at her father.

"But she's a celebrity. I don't want any of that Hollywood party drama in my apartment." Sheldon said.

"She's a what?" Mrs. Davis asked.

"Tori sang the opening number at the Platinum Music Awards, and is going to be recording her first album soon." Jade said with a strange mix of pride and nervousness. Her father wasn't reacting. 'Either he doesn't care, which would not surprise me, or he's going to let me have it in private.' Jade was worried about his total lack of reaction. She wished her mother was there instead.

"Tori Vega?" Mrs. Davis asked. "My kids loved her song." Looking around the room. "Like you've never gone gaga over a celebrity. But who it is shouldn't matter. Jade has her rights, and so do you. Sign the contract please." She smiled, hoping that this would be the end of the whole issue. Mr. Dickers had sent her Jades folder, complete with everything she was suspected of but they couldn't prove. It was enough to give the whole human resources department nightmares. However, the girl seemed to be on her best behavior here, and they wanted that to continue. Besides, Jade had only asked for a couple of things that had to be removed. It may seem harmless, but letting one or both of her brothers stay in Sheldon's room while Doctor Cooper was out was still an invasion of privacy. They could stay on the couch, but only after she first informed Sheldon and made sure it was okay.

All four parties, Lenard, Sheldon, Jade and Her Father (since Jade was still a minor), signed the contract. Jade was still surprised her father took the time off from work to be here. She had expected her mother, or possibly her mothers promised appearance then a phoned in excuse. But her father was here. He said it was about her career, so of course he made the time. During the thirty minutes required to get everyone to read and sign the contract, Jades colleagues got a good idea of his personality. Lenard would later say it was reminiscent of his mothers, but without the scientific accomplishments. Sheldon would state how he couldn't understand how anyone could be so distant and judgmental, missing the Irony. He was right about one thing, Jades father didn't have even a basic formula for how he judged her. He just held everything her mother had done before Jades birth against her, and begrudgingly admitted to being her father only after the courts had proven he was.

Only Mrs. Davis knew how proud he was of everything Jade had accomplished, including her plays and her handling of the End of Year showcase. But then again, she had talked to his boss to arrange the meeting, and found out how often he talked about her to his work related friends. It made sense to her, these were the people he was used to unwinding with, who could see the real him under his armor, and see just how happy he was with Jades success. She also guessed he was totally unaware how damaged Jade was. The man was results oriented, and caught up in his own beliefs about how to raise children. Apparently he'd missed the first few years of her life, where he would be allowed to be the fun dad, and jumped in as the distant disciplinarian who was always at work or unwinding with his friends. Mrs. Davis couldn't judge him, only do her job and wonder if Jade would ever know the real man behind the image her father maintained. She also decided that Jade would never work on any military contracts. The girl wasn't disciplined enough not to misuse the data.

After the signing, Jade didn't feel less stressed. She needed to talk to her father. She had been outed, sorta, and needed to do some damage control before word spread.

"Dad, can we talk. I think I need to explain something." Jade started.

He looked her in the eye, again giving the impression that he was disappointed. "My boss is gay. You know that. He's always been there for this family, helping us find homes at good prices, and helping us maintain a nice standard of living that we could not otherwise afford. After working for him practically your entire life, I cannot believe you'd think I would think any less of you for being gay. I just want to know, lesbian or bisexual? Or should we just ignore labels right now?" He was staring at her, in that cold, calculating way that slowly ate away at Jades resolve. He showed no emotion, no weakness, just stating facts.

Jade answered carefully, thinking about her words before saying anything."I'm definitely bi, if my recent attractions are any hint. I mean, I still love Beck, I'm just not in love with him."

"When do I get to meet this Tori?" He said, crossing his arms and studying his daughter. Her colleagues had given her space, abandoning her to this conversation with her father.

"You've met. She helped me put on that play. You know, 'Well wishes'. The one you attended." Jade said.

"Oh, her. I still expect to properly meet her, and her family." He said. "Arrange it. Maybe next Friday, on your birthday." With that he walked away, leaving her to figure out how she would arrange everything with such short notice. The obvious answer was for Jade to ask the Vega's to her party, and have it at her mothers place. Her father would be there too. 'Nice of him to show up for one of my birthdays.' She stood there, alone in the hall just outside the human resources office, sorting out her feelings and her desires. Action was required. Jade left, retrieving her car.

Jade drove the police station, determined to talk to her biggest ally in the Vega family, reviewing in her mind what she was going to say. 'What did I tell Becks parents.' Realization hit. ' I didn't, did I. He never met Becks parents. He never asked to meet Becks parents. What the Holly chiz is going on here.' Jade continued to review every interaction with her father since she was raped. He had never shown this much interest in any of her friends. If it wasn't about college or work, he just didn't seem to care. 'And yet here he is, asking to meet her family. What, does he think I'm gonna marry her too?' Jade pondered this new thought for an unknown amount of time, only to be reminded where she was when a uniformed police officer knocked on her window. She looked around, realizing she was parked outside the police station. Quickly rolling down her window, "Can I help you officer?"

"My name's Officer Stevens. I was just concerned. You've been sitting in your car twenty minutes, and I wanted to make sure you were all right." He said. He was medium height, solid build, with close cropped brown hair and a mustache.

"I'm fine. I was just lost in thought." She replied.

"Are you sure your fine? I mean, a lot of victims of various crimes are embarrassed to report it. Many blame themselves. You'd hardly be the first person I've helped into the precinct who was having second thoughts." he said, sounding calm and friendly. Jade saw through the facade. While everything he said was true, there was something more. Jade decided she didn't want to pry, since he probably wouldn't tell her anyways. Still, he was being friendly and helpful, and as long as she wasn't a threat, would stay that way.

'This is not the police I'm used to' Jade thought. "No, I'm here to talk to Detective David Vega, but it's not about a crime." Jade said, adding quickly "I'm a friend of his daughter, Tori.".

"No problem. I'll escort you in." He offered. Jade realized she could leave, or go in with the officer. She started out of her car, only to stop and remove her scissors. There would be a metal detector on her way in, and she didn't feel like getting arrested. Officer Stevens waited patiently for her to be ready, then walked her in through the front door. He used his ID badge to get them past the security door, and showed her to the elevators. He then stayed with her the whole ride up to the fifth floor, where Detective Vega's office was. He made lite conversation as the went, talking about Tori and how the whole precinct watched her perform on the Chris Burm show.

As he walked her into the right department, he stopped to talk to the unit secretary. "Tell lieutenant Vega that there's a Jade West to see him." As soon as the words left his mouth, the whole department reacted. The room grew quiet, and as officer Stevens was leaving, and Jade was looking at a room of maybe twenty people, all staring at her. She remembered David mentioning how she was on the watch list. This was surprisingly uncomfortable.

'Wait, lieutenant?' she thought, and then the door to an office opened and David Vega walked out.

"Jade, to what do I owe this surprise visit?" he asked.

"Can we talk in your office. This whole thing is kinda freaky." Jade replied, pointing around to the office. She wanted away from the curious eyes judging her. He showed her into his office, closing the door.

"You like it?" he said, obviously proud. "They only approved the funding in the last two months. We have a school outreach department now. We do all kinds of things, but it's mostly to make dealing with school based crimes easier. I'm in charge of this precincts outreach program." He then paused, smiling, to study Jade. "I hope that your not just here to congratulate me on my vision coming to life." Jade didn't see anything special about this unit, but then she knew it wasn't physical. It was in the training and the contacts. Now school based crimes would be handled more quickly and professionally.

"Yea, congratulations. Look, I should've called, but this is kinda out of the blue and I freaked. My dad wants to meet you. I mean, all of you. He wants to get to know Tori, and see where she comes from and you can figure that much out on your own." Jade stammered nervously. "It's just the first time he's ever asked to meet my dates family. Heck, I was with Beck for almost a year before they met, and it was almost an accident. So anyways, You are all invited to my birthday next Friday. I'll send a mass text with the deets. I mean details." Jade inhaled, feeling like she had been rambling for a while.

"Okay, I suppose we can make it. And FYI, I'm up to date on the slang." David said. "So on a scale of one to ten, you're how freaked?"

"This is a seven. I've had worse. In the last month. Hell, I think the last month's been averaging a seven when it comes to freaked out. It's like everything's changing, and while some of it's gonna be so good, I'm scared because I expect it to be so much worse than I'm used to." Jade admitted.

"Wanting to meet the family, kinda sounds like he thinks this could last. That must be the hardest part. Being told by others that this relationship will last while that one will fail." He was smiling, trying to make this as comfortable as possible. It occurred to Jade that his family hadn't been interested enough in his job to ask what was happening. She wondered if they knew about his promotion.

"Is that Gary guy still you're partner?" She asked.

"In a way. He's in my department, but as of last Monday he gets a new partner and I'm in charge." David was practically glowing. Jade felt happy for him.

"So did anyone know about this whole" Gesturing around, "Thing?" Jade asked.

"Nope. I try to stay involved in my daughters lives, their school work and careers. I understand that to them I'm just a cop. It's never been easy to explain what I do. When I made the whole school outreach a major part of our anti-gang activities, and then expanded it to include a lot of crime prevention, my children never had a clue. They don't even know about the police athletic leagues. We help coordinate the games too." He looked a little sad. Jade decided to let him tell her everything about his job. By the time she left, she was far beyond respect. He was working and coordinating with over a dozen different programs to help at risk youths stay out of gangs, off drugs, and whatever else they could do to help the kids succeed. David Vega was helping prevent violent crimes. She resolved that his children would understand just what he did.

'Maybe I'll write a movie about this chiz. I bet they'd make it, at least as a made for TV type thing for an aging Hispanic actor who wants another starring role.' Jade thought. She smiled at how life always gives her inspiration.

Jade had to rush home to squeeze in a shower and get dressed before picking up Tori and racing back to Sheldon's place for Leonard's going away party. She had the need to take care of some business tonight. 'So much to do. I guess it's a working party.' She smiled at the thought.

Tori was ready by the time Jade got there. They both had dressed casually, since it was a friendly party. A quick kiss and they were on their way.

"Tori, I was wondering, what's new with your family?" Jade asked.

"Not much. Gary and Dad are no longer partners. Not sure why. Mom says it's normal to break up pairs periodically. Besides, Dad's gonna try for sergeant, like Gary. I guess they wanted to spread the rank." Tori said.

"I stopped by your fathers precinct today, just to congratulate him on making lieutenant. I got to see his new department. School outreach has grown so much and now has twenty dedicated detectives working to liaison with every school in the LA basin. Over a dozen different programs are now being coordinated through his office. You should be proud." Jade kept her voice even. She had to admit she probably had as much interest in her fathers work place, and so should give her girlfriend a break. Still, the part of Jade that didn't forgive lightly chose to inform Tori in the harshest way she would let herself. No yelling, just let the girl know that Jade was up to date when she wasn't.

"Wait, what? Lieutenant? Does that mean he'll be home more often?" Tori asked. They both knew she wasn't trying to be selfish, but Jade could understand where the Latina was coming from. As close as the Vega's were, Tori had complained of a distance in the family. Holly and David seemed to be growing apart, and Gary seemed to be flirting with Holly. It was a recipe for disaster.

"Yea. The department was officially opened as of Monday, but you know how busy I get. I couldn't tear myself away until today. You should let him know how proud you are of him. He's a hell of a lot more than just a cop. And Tori." Jade started.

Tori was feeling ashamed. Something this big was happening to her father, and she had no idea. She wondered if her mother knew. She felt worse because her girlfriend was keeping tabs, but neither her nor Trina had bothered. Until this summer, he was just a cop. He could have been a uniformed police officer, except he wore plain cloths and thus had to be a detective of some sort. Or maybe he kept his uniform at the station. Tori had no idea, and had never really wanted to know. It was just never a big part of their lives. Tori was worried that she would bring the party down. She also knew Jade was wazzed, otherwise she would have let Tori know in a nicer way.

"What Jade. Is he up for commissioner?" Tori asked, feeling frustrated. Why hadn't Jade told her earlier. This could quickly become a problem, if Jade was withholding news from her to punish her for not being a good daughter.

"I really only found out today. I don't think they've made an announcement about it yet. I just needed to talk to your dad, and chose to go in person because I needed the drive. I didn't mean to make you feel like chiz. It's just janked up that we get so caught up in our own lives that we don't even know what our own parents do." Jade vented.

"What does your father do?" Tori asked.

"Property management. He manages an office that manages the multiple business interests my dads boss has, mostly handling the day to day chiz that needs to get done. That includes the junk yard we used, a couple of restaurants and fast food places, as well as a business buying distressed properties and re-selling them closer to actual value. My dad also is responsible for maintaining the contracts with various rentals and other business agreements, so he's always talking to the law firm that represents the company and his boss." Jade just spouted. "My mother works selling the Katey May line of cosmetics. Her client list is a lot of people who do business with my dads boss."

Tori was embarrassed. Jade knew more about her parents work than Tori did about her own. She knew her mother worked, but had odd hours. She knew her father worked as a cop, and that their house in the Hollywood hills was paid for. She just never asked where the money came from. Despite her personal lack of funds, her family never seemed to be broke. Whatever her mother did, it seemed to help bring in the bucks. She resolved to ask.

"Do you, by any chance, know what my mother does?" Tori asked Jade sheepishly.

"Sorry, no. I'll ask next chance I get. You should consider asking too. It's be nice for you to get to know them. Trust me, you've got a great family." Jade smiled as she spoke.

They arrived at the party, and both agreed no drinking. They didn't want Jade Colleagues getting in trouble for the delinquency of minors. Also, Sheldon would be judging them. She wanted to have Tori here, and she needed Sheldon on board to avoid that lengthy homicide conviction. She would rather be cuddling with her girlfriend.

Jade and Tori had fun in the party, but there was something on Jades mind and Tori was going to find out. Jade needed to drive and see her father, the argument fell flat. Still, there wasn't much time at the goodby party. Wishing Lenard a safe and successful trip morphed into comforting Raj about his girlfriend dumping him, while keeping Jade from carrying out her offer to return Howard to space if he didn't stop comparing it to everything. Then came the reality that Jade was the only sober licensed driver, so they shuttled Howard and Bernadette home, then did the same for Raj and finally Stuart.

As Jade was dropping Tori off at home, just after the goodnight kiss, Jade suddenly stopped, looking nervous, and asked Tori a question.

"Um, Tori, do you love me?".

"You know I do." Tori replied.

"Good. My father wants to meet your parents."

Tori thought 'Damn! This chiz just got real.'

:}

Reviews are welcome. Just no Bedroom Pictures.


	24. Chapter 24: Finaly her birthday

Disclaimer. I still don't own anything. You'd think after 24 chapters, I'd be allowed to bid. Oh well, at least they let us use the characters, I think, or this story would be boring.

:}

A whole week without Lenard, and what a week it has been. Jade was busy with her classes, Tori, her research, Sheldon, and whatever other chiz was coming up during that week so she felt she had to keep her own drama under control. Of course, she didn't see how much of what she was dealing with was part of her drama. The day Lenard flew out, Raj discovered he could talk to women, or at least the ones he knew well. Jade had mixed feelings about it. She liked feeling special, being like family to the astrophysicist, but he just never stopped talking. Now Penny and the girls were the victims of his no-stop pseudo-introspection as he tried to work out that Lucy was gone. Jade was no longer the victim of the half hour phone calls where he explained his current thoughts on whether Lucy would be back, or at least not as often. She did have some advice for him however; Aim higher. Jade felt that he set himself up for failure by looking for a girl as screwed up as he was. She thought that maybe he needed someone functional who, as the song went, had baggage that went with his. Jade didn't know who, but she was certain she could find a Northridge girl who could act as a starter girlfriend until he was ready for one capable of holding a conversation. She would ask if any of the girls hitting on Beck had an equally slutty older sister, maybe one looking for a brown baby daddy.

On Sunday, Jade was happy to hear that Tori had found out what her mother did for a living. Apparently Holly Vega worked as a personal shopper/concierge for a large LA law firm. While she had great hours, she always seemed to be on call. She could take care of her family, get in some quality time with her husband, and maybe something on the side with Gary, and still do her job, as long as she was available when a client needed her. Moreover, it seemed Holly had connections with all the major hotels in the LA area, and could find just about anything someone might need. Since the law firm was far more than just litigation and trials, they often needed to woo a client or help one of their 'Wales' who needed something somewhere. She even knew who would give an alibi, as long as it wasn't being used to break the law. She just helped clients cheat on their spouses, avoid events they really didn't want to go to, or save them from getting in trouble with their bosses for skipping a meeting. Holly could find someone to help her supply anything legal, and thanked the starts no one ever asked a law firm to find prostitutes. Still, Holly made good money for her time and was considered one of the best. Jade stored that information away for possible future use.

Monday was it's usual clusterjank of commitments and obligations. Jade's class was still keeping up, and she had another quiz planned for Friday. 'Happy birthday, I got me a wazzed off TA who's gonna be spending his weekend grading another quiz.' Jade was working them hard, but hoped they would remember enough. She also smirked when she realized they would be far enough ahead to spend nearly the entire final week, save for the last day, to review. The last day was of course the final. Jade had high hopes that one or more of her students would rise above the rest and achieve the level of semi-intelligent Labradoodle. 'Okay, none of this batch is going to be like Lenard, Sheldon, Barry and me.'

Tuesday came, and after her therapy and office hours she accompanied Sheldon and Raj to the Cheesecake Factory. Jade could not get out of this one duty, and with Howard married, he wasn't eating with them so Stuart was already filling in one place. Worse, Jade would have to wait to spend time with Tori until Wednesday because Sheldon wanted a nice foursome, claiming it was more symmetrical. Between Penny's skills as a waitress and Raj's need to talk, Jade felt that she was living in hell. 'Or Pasadena, which is obviously a suburb of hell.' Jade could not wait to be back in Hollywood and in the arms of her girlfriend. That night as Sheldon's roommate, Jade began to grow accustom to his quirky personality and his need for someone to marvel at his brilliance. Living with Sheldon was going to take some adjustments.

Comparatively, Wednesday was like heaven. Jade was gone as soon as her class ended. She managed to beat her students out the door, racing to Tori's house for a crappy home made lunch and some quality time with her hot Latina girlfriend. 'Neither Tori nor Trina can cook. Genetics? Maybe. Her mother seems to be okay, so I'm guessing it's from her fathers side. Or maybe it's the mixed genes. The cooking skills got lost in favor of hot bodies. Yea, Trina too.' Jade had to admit Trina was above average looking, and now that she was less annoying would have her choice of boyfriends. 'She's gonna pick Beck, and they will have cute but annoying babies.' Jade was smiling by the time she reached the Vega home.

Jade was particularly happy to be Sheldon free this night. With Stuart (of all people) driving Sheldon home, new comics night was handled. Stuart was able to help because Sheldon had convinced _Wil Wheaton_ to cover the store for a few hours and have a Star Trek themed event. Jade had convinced Sheldon that anything he could think of to help the comic store would keep him from having to find a different store once Stuart went bankrupt or insane, or both, so he had jumped at the chance to save himself some trouble.

The Star Trek themed event was also to introduce the sundry items for sale at the shop, as well as other, often signed merchandise that Wil's friends could be persuaded to provide. Wil's celebrity had never brought this kind of attention before, but that was because Wil had never offered a look at his own collection. Not physically, but a complete list of everything geeky he owned with pictures for people to look at. Add in a little help from Jade in the form of Dale Squires, and people were buying stuff just to be there. Dale was there because Jade had told him Wil might be up for a part in a new SciFi TV Epic like Babylon 5, and he wanted to get in and direct several episodes. Dale, like everyone, was looking for the next boost in his career.

All of this was great for Jade, because she desperately needed some Tori time. She also planned on spending the night with her family, mostly her brother. Specificity her fathers son, who she hardly ever saw. Jade was feeling paranoid, everything was going right, and that didn't happen for her.

Thursday happened, and that's all she knew. It was busy, but such a non-event that she just logged it away and prepared for Friday. She knew she did stuff, teaching and reserch and maybe a few well placed death threats, but nothing stood out so the day was felt almost like background noise. The feeling you have when you drive home, and somehow cannot remember the whole drive. Jade could blame some of it on Friday. She'd been both living for and dreading Friday. Her parents would meet Tori's, and she would have her party with her friends and family. Friday would be perfect. It had to be.

Friday started with the quiz. From there, she lectured while Kevin graded what he could. Jade had thrown her TA a bone by making the quiz simple and easy. He just had to glance over the Four questions and make sure they used the right formulas, that they did the math right, and that they didn't make any assumptions they could not back up. It was only an hour long quiz, and maybe a page per question of calculations and explanations. 'He'll have it done by five.' Jade thought. After all, she didn't want to have to spend her weekend grading if Kevin got sick, and she could have finished the grading in an hour or two. She didn't notice him cursing her under his breath as he looked at her key, where she had doodled out the formulas and the correct answers (with alternatives), realizing he was going to be checking everyones math. Jade tended to forget how slow most people were with equations.

After the class, she leisurely walked to her car, stopping at the coffee kiosk to get her usual. There was more of a line then she was used to, since she normally got lunch first, but today she wanted to have lunch with her brothers. Dave let her cut because it was her birthday, and students let her out of a mix of fear and awe. Jade's reputation was better than most. Her classes were well received, her research was progressing at a good rate, and half her department used her services to run simulations. Jade was a rising star at Caltech.

The drive home was the usual mess, but Jade knew how to avoid some of the trouble spots and made it home just in time to take her brothers out to lunch. Jason, her father son, was the perfect child in his eyes. At six years old he was starting to form his identity as a rising athlete in first grade. Her mother's son was William, but of course everyone called him Billy. Also six, he was a burgeoning artist, in love with his paints. They went to the same school, and were even in the same grade. They had only a few things in common. They were Jade siblings, and so she was required by law to love them. They were both too young to stay out late except if someone was watching them, and just beginning to become aware of the kind of trouble they could get into if they wanted. Somehow they had found each other at school, and despite their differences and the problems their parents had with each other, they quickly became best friends. Jade loved them both. She wished she had her own place so that she could spend a weekend or two with the little monsters. Jade was good with kids that age.

Lunch wasn't fancy, just a quick trip to Inside-out Burger where they got two kids meals with Peppy Colas, and she got the Chicken Salad with the Oriental sesame seed dressing. She had a good time laughing at their antics as they talked about her birthday and what she wanted to happen. In the end, they needed to get back to her mothers for a party that was not children. 'Teens don't like Kids seeing them acting like kids'. Jade drove them to her mothers house where her friends were gathering.

The plan was for Tori and the Hollywood Arts gang to meet her at one thirty for a pool party. They would hang out until about six, when it would morph into a barbeque and her adult friends and family would show up. Her brothers would be there, but an indoor place had been set up for them to play when their parents couldn't watch them swim since they wouldn't understand a lot of what the older kids called fun, even the clean stuff. It was a plan that gave Jade time to prepare for the meeting of the parents. And like all plans, it didn't survive first contact with the enemy.

Tori's parents took the afternoon off. Trina had been invited, and they thought it would be a nice family thing to do going to a pool party, especially one full of responsible young people who were also their daughters friends. So the whole Vega family showed up to help set up at just after one. Jade didn't have to worry about entertaining them, however, since her own parents, along with their current spouse or boyfriend, had shown up. Jades mother lived there with Rick, her current boyfriend. Rick wasn't Billy's father, but the small time actor who had charmed her mother into a relationship certainly acted like he was.

Jade's reflected on her step-parents. Her fathers wife, Fiona, was so different from the men her mother dated. She never liked Jade. No Fiona wasn't cruel, capricious, or even vindictive. She also didn't bother trying to get to know Jade in any way beyond family get togethers. Fiona wasn't Jade mother, and felt no need to acknowledge the goth in any way beyond what Jades father demanded. While Jason loved his sister, Fiona tolerated her existence. Jade never lived with her father because when he was out, she was a non-entity. Better to be a stage mothers disappointment then constantly forgotten. Even today, Fiona was there but treating it like an obligation. In many ways, she treated her marriage like it was an arrangement. A decent life, and a child, in return for companionship.

Jades parents were all here, along with Tori's, and to Jade that spelled disaster. No prep time, no way to figure out how she was going to moderate these intense people, just straight into the fire.

The disaster wasn't complete yet, however. Howard, Sheldon and Raj all took off work early to play in a pool. Penny had found someone to cover her shift, and both Amy and Bernadette could take the time off. They had brought their own refreshments, mostly because the girls would never survive a party without the booze. All of them arriving by one thirty, just before the Hollywood Arts gang, who understood that arriving early to a party was rude, showed up. In Sheldon's defense, however, he was dragged by his ride.

It was about this time, after the fake niceties had been exchanged and as Jade was watching her world spin out of any semblance of control, her parents took the opportunity to sit down with Tori's parents. Just before they started really talking, Tori dragged Jade aside to figure out who was who.

"Who's who over there.?" Tori asked.

"You know my Dad. With him is his new wife, Fiona. She likes to pretend I don't exist. We get along, but only because I want to be in my fathers life. No one ignores me." Jade growled, then returned her voice to normal. "She's like a hired wife. She does her part, and expects him to do his. I'm not sure if they love each other, but she's good for his image." Jade explained as she pointed to her stepmother. Then the pointed to the other pair. "That's my mom. You'll get to know her as the day goes on, and beside her is Rick, her current boyfriend and kept man. She gives him a place, and he acts like the boyfriend. He's an actor, but not a great one. I think he's done some commercials and local theater. For a leach on society, he's actually pretty cool. He treats Billy like a son, and doesn't try anything on me. I think he'd like it to be more than it is, but she wont let it. It's sad that Mom won't take this to the next level. She sometimes avoids commitment."

"Okay, you've got to explain that." Tori said, looking deep into Jades eyes..

"Rick's her fourth boyfriend. Before that were two others just like him, bot of whom were pretty good to me and Billy, and neither lasted more than two years. She's pretty good at finding decent men among the acting losers. Rick seems to like the arrangement, but I think she needs to stop treating him like a fling. It's getting harder to find decent guys as she gets older, especially with two kids, and she keeps letting them go." Jade sounded sad.

"What about the one before them? You said she had four boyfriends." Tori pried.

"Darren. He's an actor and part time professional wrestler slash bodybuilder who she seemed serious about, until she found out he was in it for the baby his career, and nothing else. He's gay, and I think he thought she knew she was his beard, and understood his desire to be a father didn't include being her husband. Shows how much they really understood each other. Anyway, we still see him. He's determined to be in Billy's life, and he even likes to spend time with me. I clung to him after the incident, just feeling safe knowing he wasn't interested in me. He's six foot four and two hundred and forty pounds. That's a lot of safety. He doesn't know, but I think he suspects. Mom barely admits he exists today, and I guess she was burned once too often. She only dates actors now." Jade stopped talking to look at her beautiful girlfriend. "Thanks for being so cool with this parental trap."

"Just avoiding your fathers inevitable questioning." Tori said, smiling.

The parental meeting soon included Tori and Jade. Jade took a brief break around Two to talk to Beck.

"Yo, Beck, I was wondering..." Jade started.

"Yo? Okay, who is it. When is she getting here." Beck said smiling. "C'mon, you never say YO. Just tell me, okay."

"Trina." She said. "Before you freak, I've been vetting her and found a wonderful girl under the attitude and sense of entitlement. You could, and have, done worse. She's just what you need. I've started the molding, you and her finish. I bet you'll have beautiful yet annoying children and a nice happy home."

"Really?" Beck stammered. "I mean, really?"

"Just give her a chance. Spend some time with her while I'm dealing with the parents. If you don't see what I see, then obviously your blind, but I won't push it. Okay? Just trust me to know what you need, like I trusted you." Jade smiled, and Beck relented.

"Okay, as long as she tones it down." He said.

"Okay. Oh, and Beck, Robbie, Sinjin and Burf now get the Northridge girls who like to come sniffing around." Jade was smiling.

"You think those three have a chance?" Beck asked.

"Yep. Kinda like your entourage. Also, if they don't get girlfriends, they'll at least keep the sluts away from you. It's a win-win." Jade with a smile. Then her brief break came to an end and she returned to the family meeting family meeting. 'This needs abetter name. I could use an acronym. FMFM? No vowels. Fam fam? Now I'm just escaping.' Jade thought. A brief image of a tunnel formed in her mind, but actually digging it would be far too much work.

By three, they had worked things out. Jade's father approved of Tori, her family, and everything else. Her mother also approved, and Rick wanted the guys to go bowling. Fiona didn't really care until she heard David was a cop, and then she just wanted to know if he could help her with a speeding ticket. Jades brothers were having a good time, and the Caltech bunch had managed to have fun despite being the odd people out at this pool party turned barbeque. Rex, as predicted, had texted and so half their class had appeared, along with a few people from Northridge. More would have come, but Jade would have killed the puppet, and even Rex knew to be afraid of wazzing her off that much. So despite everything, it was an enjoyable torture that she endured almost out of curiosity, waiting for things to explode. They almost did when, at five, Doctor Barry Kripke arrived. He and Sheldon got into a viscous water fight, then Beck put them on a time out. It was funny to see the handsome and more intimidating young man put these two in their place. Barry protests plus his speech impediment made several people laugh, so they also got a time out. Beck was good like that. Later Barry did proposition a couple of the older girls, including Trina, and once again found himself on time out. Trina just showed him what she could do to a board, now functioning as kindling.

The party slowly bled into the night, with food and, for the adults, drinking. While it was originally supposed to break up by eight, they didn't get the guests to leave until after eleven, and only with the help of David and his badge. Finale Jade, who's presents were unopened and would remain that way until Sunday, took her overnight bag and went to drive Sheldon home. Tori quickly jumped into Jade's car carrying her own bag. Sheldon just wanted to go home, and didn't argue.

Once Sheldon had retreated to bed, Jade found herself sitting on the couch with Tori. Jade made a point of sitting in Sheldon's spot just to spite him. The conversation quickly faded as the two nervous girls sat next to each other, not sure what to do.

"So, here we are." Tori opened.

"Yep." Jade could not believe how nervous she'd become. She suspected Tori might try this, but now, in the moment, all her fears came screaming to the surfaces. What if it was all infatuation? What if they're just good friends. Neither wanted to ruin what they had, but both knew sooner or later they would come to this point. Jade and Tori were trapped by their own expectations and experiences.

"How about a kiss?" Tori asked. Jade responded immediately, leaning over and they met, feeling the desire in each others lips. Tori deepened the kiss, drawing Jade out of herself. Risking the touch, Jade's arms encircled her girlfriend, pulling Tori closer while one hand tangled into the Latina's hair. Tori took the opportunity to slide a hand up the nervous goths front, ending in a lingering grope. The other was around Jades waist, slowly slipping under her shirt. Tori moved with a surprising certainty, sliding her hand up Jades back to her bra, and quietly undoing it. Jade let out a gasp as the tension across her bust released.

"Wait." Jade managed to force out. Tori looked concerned, but stopped her advances. "I'm not, I mean, not here." Jade blushed as she spoke. Her mind reeled as she tried to figure out just what she wanted.

"Maybe we could go to the bedroom?" Tori asked. Jade froze. She no longer had any doubts what would happen if they moved to the bedroom. "We wont do anything you're not ready for. Maybe we just cuddle, maybe more. Okay?" Tori said as she started towards Lenard's room. Lust and fear dueled in Jades mind and heart as she followed her girlfriend into the other room. Once the door was closed, Jade just allowed herself to be overwhelmed by kisses and touches until her body screamed for more, and the singer complied. No words were spoken, but some were moaned. Tori took her time, gauging every step, never going farther than jade was ready for. There were probably questions and answers, but Jade was only marginally aware of anything more than the desire for Tori's touch.

One hour later, As she lay naked in Tori's arms, Jade could not, for the life of her, remember what happened to her underwear.

:}

I'm not sure about how Jade and Tori got together. Still, it's movement, and Jade needs a healthy relationship. Wanna bet things go sideways at least once before the summer ends?

Reviews are like candy. I have a swet tooth.


	25. Chapter 25: Dinner with Jades dad

Morning brought a whole new sense of peace to the gifted goth. Jade awoke with Tori by her side, tangled in Star Wars bedsheets. Apparently Lenard and Sheldon still lived a little like children. The first day Jade had spent the night, Sheldon had been helpful and made the bed for her using the Star Wars set. Jade hoped she never met Mark Hammil in person now. Not after what she had done on his face. They both decided to lie there, enjoying each others company, and waiting to get up until Sheldon started the next part of his routine.

Tori and Jade shared a shower while Sheldon was doing his laundry. It would have been a perfect plan, but he came back to check on them while the washing cycled through. His freakout at them "Doing it" in the shower was unexpectedly quiet. The "no shared showers" clause was one of the ones removed before Jade had signed, and they were only trying to go easy on him by timing it to one of his out of room activities. After his shout of surprise, and a few minutes to calm down, he discretely left, staying out until he was sure they were done.

As the day progressed, the conversation began to feel like something was being avoided. After lunch, Tori took the step of breaking the ice. "It's called a Feeldo, a type of strapless strap-on. I've read the manual and I'm sure once we try it you'll want to use it all the time."

"Oh my lord." Sheldon cried, reminding them he was in the same room, working on his computer.

"Vega! Not now. If I break him, I have to buy him, and I already have an unemotional man-child in my life." Jade said.

"What?" Sheldon said, not sure if he should be taking offense.

"It's just Sex. I'm sure he's had his experiences." Tori shot back.

Sheldon paled. Quickly he turned and started to talk, only to stop. For once, he had nothing to say.

"Oh my GOD!" Tori said.

"He has a girlfriend. Doctor Kripke thinks he's getting it all the time." Jade said.

"So he's talked about sex?" Tori said.

"Nope." Jade said, letting the P pop. "His research is just not as advanced as Kripke's is, and he'd rather be seen as a sex maniac than the lesser researcher." Jade said.

"Now that's not true!" Sheldon exclaimed.

"Really? So your giving it to Amy regularly? I'm the one running your simulations as well as his. If anyone is aware where your research is, it's me. Your work is impressive, and you've caught up some, but that doesn't change what I've said or make it any less true." Jade said calmly. "Instead of gripping, think on this. You've got a far better quality of life, and where he to ever find someone desperate enough to be with him, his research would no doubt slow down. There is far more to life than just the research, Sheldon. Enjoy your life a bit."

"So what your saying is we find Kripke a girl and his research just falls off?" Sheldon said, sounding interested while again missing the point..

"So I know how the thing works and I would love to try it with you. We can get used to each other first, but eventually I want to try it." Tori said, ignoring Sheldon entirely, focusing on the conversation she wanted to have with Jade.

"You just want to be the one with the dick in the relationship. God Tori, symbolic much?" Jade said.

Sheldon chose not to hear anything the young loves said in favor of working on his new plan to regain the coveted spot of top researcher at Caltech. He was aware, however, that part of it was he didn't want to know about what they were discussion. Total recall can be a curse.

"I don't...I mean...God jade why do you have to be so difficult. I just want to...Shut up." Tori stammered. Jade would normally laugh, but at that moment she had other problems. Sheldon had a new wacky plan to ascend to the top research spot in the Caltech Physics department, and he would probably try to drag her into it. And Tori had a dildo of unknown size she wanted to use on her.

Then there was the whole parental thing. Jade had decided it would be best to handle it one parent art a time. 'Mom would be easier to tell then Dad, except for the whole blaming dad thing that's bound to happen. Oh, I also don't need Billy to know about my past. Not until he's old enough, if ever. I could tell Rick. He's been a decent guy, but he really doesn't need to know. Darren has more of a right to know. So maybe just my mom? I could live with the drama, or not. I'll tell her, but only if necessary. She has her own drama right now. So that leaves Dad. Fiona won't care, and Jason is in the same boat as Billy, except he's gonna be an athlete so someone needs to school him on proper dating. So now I need to figure out how to tell my dad. Maybe I'll handle Tori's desire for a dick first.'

Jade shifted her attention from inside to the conversation Tori was having with Sheldon. More accurately, they both had chosen to focus on their own subjects and replied to the other as if that was what was being discussed. Penny had come in to let Sheldon know his laundry was done, and was now just watching two stubborn people talk about relationships and dildo's. It was probably a very amusing sight, except Jade realized she was in the middle of the whole thing. 'Caught between Tori's thirteen inch toy with it's three inch diameter and a finding a mate for Doctor Kripke the Perv. Not an image I needed.'

Eventually the discussions ended and Jade convinced them that she was not ready to deal with either the sex toy (despite Tori's insistence that it wasn't nearly as big as Jade thought it was, because ouch) or finding love for an adult physicist with a speech impediment. They all agreed to just drop it. Jade knew that translated into a few days before the dildo magically shows up in Tori's bag, and for Sheldon that his idea was now Penny's problem. 'Revenge at last?'

Sunday was better, except for taking Tori to church. The Latina had stated that she wouldn't miss a single Sunday service. Jade had come along, because Tori still didn't have a car, but stayed towards the back of the church. She didn't feel right being there. Her beliefs were far different than even these progressive Catholics. The service was long, with a lot of audience participation that assumed a certain amount of background knowledge. 'I'm sure someone would help me, but they'd expect to see me again.' Jade thought. Finally, after the Vega's paid for any sins they might have unintentionally done with the hours of their lives spent in church, the whole family went to lunch. Jade went along, and enjoyed the company. Beck made an appearance there, joining Trina. 'He always was good at avoiding things he didn't like doing.' Jade thought.

The rest of the day was pleasant enough. Jade and Tori enjoyed the Vega's pool while Trina took Beck to the mall. Later they'd find out it was because that mall had local cover bands play on Sundays to help draw people to their farmers market. The only things Trina bought were a couple of trinkets, some homemade scented hypoallergenic soaps, and some fresh fruit. Jade realized it might be a nice place to take her girlfriend for a date. Then they said their goodby's as Jade drove back to Pasadena to start the next week of what could be her personal hell.

By the time she saw Tori on Tuesday, Jade was seriously missing her. Between the talk she'd had with her therapist about telling her dad and all her dealings with Sheldon, she needed to feel loved. Tori wasn't spending the night, just visiting for a short while. Trina had dropped her off and was going to Pick her up later, after her own date with Beck. They discussed life, plans for the new school year, the progress of Jade play, how they'd announce, ETC. Tori kept the goth physicist calm after explaining that Cat had already told people about their relationship by posting on the slap that it was "non of their business". Jade checked, and Cat was thorough enough to include both names. Sheldon was out with Amy for an after dinner whatever.

As the week progressed, Jade and Tori grew more comfortable with their relationship, as well as Tori's expectations. Tori was nice enough to only talk about her sex toy while they were together, and did bring it for Jade to look at it. Jade was mostly enjoying the early lovemaking stage of the relationship. There were no illusions about their future. For now, however, she wanted to keep their relationship as organic as possible. Toys and Tori's use of them would be for later, probably used as an apology.

By Thursday night, Jade was dreaming about her problems. Confusing dreams about rapists and dildo's and mathematical equations. After the nightmare stage, came the fluffy dreamy stage, and it gave Jade a chill. While weird and unsettling, she'd been having nightmares periodically since the indecent, so was used to them. In these dreams, where often Tori would have an obsession with having the biggest dick in the room, she would dream of family. Specifically a family that didn't exist yet. She dreamt of children who would call her Mama, and of Tori screaming that they would never have sex again while bringing new life into this world. She dreamt of watching her children in their plays and their various games. Tori was always at her side, often telling her not to kill someone for some slight to one of their uncomfortably large number of offspring, seemingly growing into it's own soccer team. Jade woke up covered in sweat, slowly realizing her biggest inner fear may be that because of her parents, she could never be a good mother.

Friday came, and so did dinner with her father. Tori had arranged it to help build family trust, but secretly Jade saw it as meddling. 'I love her so much, but she's gonna be the death of me. What was she thinking?' Fear of her fathers rejection, confirming that she was beyond his love, bled into her thoughts and encouraged her to find any reason to skip this meal. Tori wasn't hearing it.

Jade soon found herself with her father, Fiona, Jason, and Tori at her fathers home. Fiona was talking about transforming Jade's room here into anything else, claiming that the actress didn't need a place in both houses. 'It's nice of her to take notice of me.' Jade suddenly wanted to let Tori experiment with whatever phallic torture device she might own. Anything to avoid the discussion that was about to happen.

After dinner, they played with Jason for a while, then they sent him to bed. Jade and her father took this as the time for a heart to heart. They adjourned to his den, and then sat in silents for ten minutes as neither had a clue how to say what they wanted to say.

"I've never said it before, but I think now's the time. I'm proud of everything you've been able to accomplish. Now don't get a big head, you're still very young, but I know you've got the tools to fall back on if something goes wrong in your quest for fame and fortune." Her father said.

Jade was floored. Of all the things she'd ever thought he'd to say to her, this wasn't even on the list. She never expected him to feel this way, let alone say it. Jade suddenly didn't want to talk. Her part would only hurt, and today wasn't the time.

"Thank you." She said, fighting back tears.

"So what did you want to talk about?" He asked calmly.

"It's nothing." She replied.

"I think it's something. You've been in Therapy for over a month and then suddenly you want to talk to me?" Ha said. "It means there's something."

Jade flashed to anger, her earlier feelings dampened but not lost. How did he know about the therapy. "How?" She started, her own anger eating her words.

"You're under eighteen. I had to be informed about you're therapy. I didn't press the issue, but I'm told I could ask your therapist why you were going. I figured you'd tell me. Now, since it's big enough for you to need outside help, what is it you needed to tell me?" Part of her family's pride was on display. Jade's anger burned her heart as she studied her father. Of course, she should have been strong enough to handle this on her own. That was part of the reason she was so screwed up in the first place.

She was caught in a torrent of emotions. Anger, sadness and a sense of betrayal mixed with dying pride and lots of hurt. She wanted to run, to forget about ever telling him. She desperately didn't want to disappoint him, but obviously already had. Nothing she said would change that part, but she could still hurt him, or protect him. Silence and words, both could do either.

"I was raped." Jade said before she was aware the words had slipped from her mouth. They were barely over a whisper, but filled the entire space of his den. Jade felt the twelve year old version of her screaming, and fought in vain to hold back the tears. As she was breaking down, she felt strong arms around her, holding her close. Her father may not have been good at comfort, but even he knew there was a time to hug.

"My god. What happened. I mean, when and where. As soon as your ready, we need to contact the police..." he said.

"It happened at Nothridge community collage." She gasped out through the tears. Old memories came back, their impact lessened by her therapy, but in the moment they were just as strong as ever.

"Okay, then we need to tell the campus police. They need to catch this maniac." He maneuvered her to his couch, where a different pair of arms guided her to a seat. Jade fought back from the waves of pain and despair, focusing on anything to just get through this moment, finish telling her father what happened.

"It's too late for that!" Jade screamed. She felt a third hand rubbing her back as the current pair held her and her father moved back towards his desk and a phone.

"Nonsense. When did it happen?" Her father asked.

"Do you remember the week I missed school when I was twelve?" Jade said. 'Oh my god. Fiona's the one hugging me! Tori's here, but it's my step-monster hugging me!' Jades mind had to focus on her father or she'd lose track of what she was doing. Her pain, the overwhelming tides, seemed to recede with the same speed they arrived. She was hurting, but the pain was far more manageable.

"Then the call can wait." he said. "You've been holding this in for almost five years?" he said with a calm, even tone to his voice. The anger, so refreshing only in that it existed, was now gone again.

"Shut it!" Fiona said, having found her own hurt.. "She was a kid trying to make it in an adult world. She still is. Of course she'd keep it to herself. There's a lot of shame in being raped. That's why my best friend, back in Martial, killed herself. The message they get, everyone lining up to tell them it's there fault. Why would she tell anyone." Her voice was getting softer as she spoke, the initial harshness fading to one mixing understanding with comfort. "This isn't about catching the guy who did it. He's probably long gone by now. It's about healing what can be healed. She needed to tell you, so she told you. Shh, shh, Jade, it's okay. No one is blaming you." Fiona said, holding Jade and caring for the first time.

"When...When will the hurt go away?" Jade found herself asking.

"It fades to manageable in time, but it's gonna take time. It's been what, a month of therapy? Bet you felt like you were over it. It's gonna take more time. Months, maybe years. You'll get there, and then one day you'll see it's not the big cloud covering your life, that the event can be seen as a horrible thing that happened, but you lived. You're going to beat the guy who did this by being the best Jade you can be. Have a happy life, a beautiful family, everything. Never let that bastard take that away from you." Fiona said in her soft, caring voice. Tori continued to rub Jade's back, mesmerized by how this moment of shared pain started the bonding between these two women.

The rest of the evening was spent discussing the layers of Jade feelings. How Jade felt she had to ignore the rape, continue to go to school so her dad might love her. How she felt worse and worse. How, the day she chose to make Beck her's was the day she saved her own life. Beck had given her a sense of value, had loved her when no one else seemed to care. He'd been so good for her, but her love for him had an expiration date. Jade continued, talking about her guilt, for using Beck, and for hurting Tori before acknowledging how much she needed the singer.

Jade's father listened. He told her about how he suspected Tori might play a role in her life, but was surprised at the roll she played. He talked about his love for her, and how difficult it was for him to tell her because that's not how the West family does thing. He mentioned that he was taking her relationships seriously now because she was working and thus her life was her's to live, but she was still too young for him to let her go without trying to protect her, even a little. He spoke about his feeling, his hurt, how he felt like her mother was trying to play him when they were together, and his early fear Jade might be someone else's. He was so happy when she proved that Jade was his, but by then he knew the damage was done, and the only role he could play was the provider. Finally, after midnight, they hugged and found a moment of peace.

That night, Jade slept in her rarely used room in her fathers house, Tori curled by her side. They were emotionally drained, but still exchanged gentle caresses and sweet kisses. Cuddling together, they reflected on Jades partially repaired relationship with her father. Jade had hope now of repairing her relationship with her mother. They had always been closer, but there was old hurt there too, and Jade needed closure. She continued to caress Tori's arm and side as she lay there in bed, her mind processing the new data about her father while also trying to decide on how to proceed from here. Tori stretched just a little, bringing her mouth to her lover ear. "I brought it." Jade decided to go to sleep and spare her brother any disturbing sounds. She added pouty girlfriends to the list of things to deal with in the morning.


	26. Chapter 26: Another important first

I don't own anything. I borrow, and usually wash them before I return them.

:}

Jade was tired. Last night she told her father her biggest secret, and in the process connected with her stepmother. The whole thing had been draining. Despite a good nights sleep, she wasn't fit to drive until after noon. Tori stayed with her, played with her brother, and kept an eye on things to make sure everyone treated Jade the same. Normalcy, maybe with more acceptance, was what Jade needed now. Eventually, Jade had to force herself to move just to get away. She still needed to process the changes in her life, and it was taking a lot of her to do so. Tori rode with her as she drove to Pasadena, planning on staying with her through the weekend.

Once Jade got home, she took the time to check her messages and email while Tori called home. Tori made arrangements to have some clothes and toiletries brought over, as well as her laptop. Sheldon had already adapted to the new living arrangement, or more accurately Amy used it as an excuse to get him out of the apartment as often as possible. Tori and Jade could be teens with minimal chance of Sheldon exploding.

They were falling into a routine. Spend time together, talk about whatever, sometimes watch TV. Eventually, Tori would suggest something involving the bedroom. Jade usually considered every offer, but today she was just too tire. Tori didn't push, and they planned to spend a lazy day together.

"So, how's the play coming?" Tori asked.

"We've started the casting calls. I'm gonna ask you guys to audition, but I'll understand if you're too busy. Any day they could want you to start recording your album." Jade smiled. Somehow, she wasn't jealous of Tori's success any more. She was starting to get hers as well. Yes, a play was a long way from an album, but Jade was just setting her foundation for her career as a writer and director, and in time would branch out to other things. Her deal with Caltech was sweet enough for her to just do both the researcher position and explore being a Hollywood mover and shaker.

"I'll consider it. You gonna give Penny a chance?" Tori asked.

"Yep. However I bet she'll fall short. The producer may be her friend, but he's giving me almost total control over the production. He just wants to make some money and pad his reputation. Also, Penny wouldn't put out, so he's cooled on her. He might try it on me, but I think he needs my talent as a writer slash director to foster his producer image. Sluts love producers, I guess." Jade was enjoying this time. It would be the last calm before the storm. Next week was the last week of the summer quarter, and thus the final. The shorter quarter was made up for by the longer classes, and while the students would have until the middle of September until the Fall quarter, Caltech ran a two quarter summer. Jade, however, would not be teaching again until the spring.

She could almost feel it. Soon, she would be done with classes, and the next week she would be a senior at Hollywood Arts. Jade didn't get much of a summer break, but that's what summer school does to you. Besides, she was secure in her position now. One more week and she would be back in the school where she was the top gank. Jade was feeling it now. One more week and she only had Sheldon on the weekends.

"Tori, Your my girlfriend now. Is it okay to call you that?" Jade asked.

"Yea." Tori replied, feeling a bit nervous about where this was heading.

"Just asking. I was thinking, maybe you should come up with a list of pet names I might call you. You're choices are Jade, no variations on that, babe, and maybe lover if you're trying to get into my pants. Mostly babe." Jade said as she typed on her computer.

"Okay, but Beck called you Babe. I don't like recycling pet names." Tori said with just a hint of doubt.

"He calls most girls that, I mean, if he's trying to get with them. But the main thing is, he called me that because I liked it. It's shorter than beautiful, and gets the idea across that I'm hot. Just put some thought into what I'm going to be calling you." Jade said.

"Okay. I guess it's something to think about, now that the whole school knows we're dating. We really should think about how we're going to deal with all the gawkers once school starts. Or we could take the high road, and just ignore it." Tori said hoping.

"Yea, the second. And Tori, we will not be having sex at Hollywood Arts. I did it with Beck, and trust me, there are no comfortable spots to do it. I'm not on display, and neither are you." Jade was enjoying the talk. Tori's phone beeped.

Jade(to SLAP): Attention everyone, pervs especially. As you know, Tori and I are dating. Unwelcome comments, gawking, excess looking, unwanted pet names including a cutesy couple name, and other such things will be met with creative retaliations. And scissors.

Tori was stunned. Jade had made a decision unilaterally. She wasn't going to just let that happen. "Jade, Whats with your latest post. You know, if it affects us as a couple, we should discuss what threats you post on line." Tori wasn't too upset. She knew what she was getting into with Jade. However, she would not be a doormat in the relationship. Her phone beeped again.

Jade: (to SLAP): All guys and the gals into gals. Tori is mine. No flirting or inappropriate touching. Offending limbs may wind up detached. Scissors cut as well as stab.

"JADE!" Tori's response was expected. Jade knew Tori wasn't going to let her be jealous, or insecure about their relationship. Still, she needed to mark her Territory, and quickly. Tori was as desirable as Beck, and just as nice. Difference was, Guys are a lot more pushy, and Jade had had her fill of pushy Northridge girls.

"What" Jade replied. 'She'd practically let some duffous fuck her before telling them to maybe pretty please stop. I'm just protecting her from herself.' Jade looked at Tori and saw the look in her eyes. 'Still, I'm probably going to get it now. Better prepare the pouty apologetic face.' It was a rarely used tactic by Jade, but she would need Tori to forgive her for what she was about to do. This was about their relationship, and what happened now would define their chances in the future.

"You know I get these updates too." Tori chastised.

"Wow, you follow me on the slap. I'm so glad." Jade replied

"This isn't about who follows who. You do follow me, right?" Tori asked. Jade nodded and the singer continued. "It's about including me in all your decisions." Tori said.

"So I need to discuss it with you if I decide to spring a pop quiz on my class?" Jade responded.

"You know that's not what I mean." Tori said.

"No I don't. Why don't you tell me what you mean? Or should we discuss it?" Jade shot back sarcasticly.

"I'm not going to just be your doormat. I'm not Beck." Tori said, feeling a little hurt and angry. "If you trust me, if you love me, you'll stop being such a gank and talk to me."

"I'm not doing anything that affects us as a couple. I'm just letting all the users and losers know you're no longer available." Jade shot back.

"What did you say?" Tori said in a dangerous voice.

"You heard me." Jade shot back.

"How could you, I mean, after all I've done for you.." Tori started, sounding hurt.

"After Danny, you seem to only date users, losers and crazy people. I can't trust you not to fall for another line." Jade said.

"Like the one you gave me? About Loving me?" Tori said.

"I do love you, you stupid... I'm trying to protect you." Jade was frustrated. This was going to hurt.

"If you loved me, you'd trust me. Instead you keep me at arms distance. You never include me, never trust me, just go one making decisions about us." Tori said. "I wonder if you're just being selfish or you really are that crazy. Did Beck.." Tori stopped herself

"I am, and you're holding back. I'm not that fragile and I hate pity, so what are you really thinking?" Jade said, her tone slightly changed. 'She mentioned Beck twice? What is she thinking.'

"I'm not.. it's just.. Oh why do you have to be so impossible. I swear, Beck should have gotten hazard pay. You're just so...There are two of us in this relationship, you know that? God Jade, just get over yourself!"

Silence filled the room, just for that one second. Jade knew it could be taken so many ways, but feared Tori meant something specific. "Go on." Jade said, almost holding her breath. 'She didn't mean..'

"I mean get over yourself. Stop thinking your the chiz. Maybe you're gifted, but who cares about physics. I mean..," Tori said, again stopping herself.

"What?" Jade said. "You still holding back?" Tori looked at her for just a second, confusion warring with her frustration. "You wanna know what my problem is? You're still such a fucking pushover, letting everyone just walk over you."

"And you're the most ungrateful bitch I've ever seen, including Trina." Tori's voice was getting louder. "After what everything we've done for you, I can't believe how selfish you are. I get that you were hurt, but that doesn't give you the right to shut me out." Tori yelled.

"Hurt?" Jade said. 'Ignore the Trina comparison.'

"You know.." Tori started.

"Raped?" Jade said. "I'm not using that to keep you out. It's just sometimes you make bad decisions..."

"I make bad decisions? I make bad..? Damn it Jade, maybe your right. Maybe I do. Maybe being with you was a bad decision too."

"Tori.." Jade started.

"I try, I really try and all I get is the door slammed in my face. Every time. Well I don't have to take it." Tori was on a roll now. "It hurts when you keep me out. It hurts when you act like a gank. I hurt because I'm dating the most self centered bitch who ever walked."

Jade stood there, absorbing each verbal blow. Tori was letting out years of frustration. Jade knew, no matter how much it hurt, she had to weather this storm. 'It's for us. I'm doing this for us.'

"Don't you have anything to say? Like maybe a timed putdown or making fun of some habit? You good at that. Tearing down people. For your information, hurting people, like your friends, won't change anything. Your still the one lacking. How could I ever think I could love someone like you." Tori was pressing her advantage. For the first time in years, she felt like she had Jade in retreat.

"You can't." Jade replied. "I'm damaged goods. You knew that getting into this relationship." Jade was losing control of her anger.

"Don't hide behind that. You were used, get over it." Tori knew it was the wrong thing to say even as it passed her lips. It was too late.

"You want me to just get over being raped?" Jade shot back.

"No, that's not what I meant." Tori stammered. She felt the balance shifting. "I'm just saying stop using it for pity."

Jade was on the edge. She knew if she argued more, she'd be the one saying thing she would later regret. 'Don't say anything. Let her get the last hurt in. It'll stop the argument.' Jade thought through the haze of anger that summoned words to her lips. She fought all of them down, and had nothing left. Several of her issues just got tagged. The pain rocked through her body, but she wasn't going to show Tori how hurt she was feeling. "Go." was all she could force out.

"Were not done here." Tori started.

"GO!" Jade shouted. "Get the fuck out of my room, out of this building. Get out of my life. I don't need your fucking pity." Jade stopped herself there.

Tori hesitated for a moment, then left. Her stuff was on the way, and she could get a ride instead. Once she was gone, Jade let it go. She cried, cursed, pounded the couch and let herself feel all the pain she'd kept from the world. After a while, she cried herself to sleep, only to wake up to Sheldon shaking her. "You're in my spot."

Jade didn't bother to answer. She just went to her room and went to bed. She had had enough for one day. Now it was time to wait, nursing the hurt and waiting to see how her relationship recovered from the fight. She spent as long as she could going over the fight, looking for where she should apologize, and where she wasn't at fault. Each go through shifted the list. 'Tomorrow, I'll talk to Penny. Maybe she can help.' Jade needed perspective, and soon. If their relationship couldn't survive it's first big fight, they were doomed.

Sunday came, and Jade was finally able to sleep in. She was still exhausted. 'should have put that fight off until I recovered from Friday' she thought. Realizing she'd skipped dinner last night, she forced herself to eat something. She'd given her word, though she couldn't remember to whom, that she'd stop hurting herself.. After she ate, she trudged back to Lenard's room to go back to bed. She didn't need Sheldon or anyone disturbing her now. Nursing both hurt and guilt, she dozed, drifting in and out of dreams about how this was all her fault.

After an unknown amount of time, she woke up to voices. Someone was talking in the living room. Jade tried to ignore it. A short while later, there was a knock on her door.

"Go away." Jade said, wanting to just lie there. She'd gone over the argument a dozen times in her head, how she kept egging Tori on until the Latina said something that hurt her. Jade desperately wanted to call Tori, to talk this through, but she felt she needed to wait just a little longer. The hurt was still too fresh, the wounds still bled.

A second knock and Jade realized it wasn't Sheldon's pattern. "Jade, can we talk."

'Beck! What the Chiz is he doing here.' Jade thought. "Go away. I'm wallowing." She said.

The door opened. "Can't come in here. Roommate agreement says you need my permission." Jade said in a weak voice. Beck still walked in. Jade glared at him. "What if I was naked?" She asked, realizing she was still in the sweats and shirt shirt she was wearing yesterday. 'I'd rather be seen naked than this.'

"Seen it. I think I even have pictures somewhere." he said smiling. "So you and Tori had your first big fight. How'd that go." He walked over and sat on the end of the bed.

Jade sat up, looking at her ex and wondering who told him. He was dating Trina, but Tori was also one of his best friends. "How do you think it went. I goaded her on until she hurt me, and then I threw her out." Jade said.

"From what I heard, you didn't tear into her. Why'd you hold back?" He asked. "And why the Star Trek bedsheets?"

"They go with the bedspread. As for why I held back, this was our first fight. I wanted to get it over with now, and tried not to hurt her. I just..I don't..this isn't me. I've never felt so.. I feel like chiz." Jade said. She almost cried.

"Tori didn't realize you held back until lunch. She was so mad at you." He said. 'She's here, with Trina. You ready to talk it out?"

"No." Jade said. 'I don't want the relationship to be over.' Fear crept into her mind as the hurt refused to leave.

"Too bad." Beck said. He walked to the door and called out. "Tori, Trina, care to join us?"

Seconds later three more figures entered the room. Trina and Tori found places to sit around the queen sized bed, and Sheldon stood in the doorway. Silence followed them in, and Jade didn't have the drive to kick Sheldon out.

"Excuse me, but this is family business." Beck said. Sheldon almost didn't move.

"It's okay. I'll probably hear it through the walls." Sheldon said before returning to the living room.

'He's going to tell Raj, and I'm going to get an earful. This whole thing is my fault.' Jade thought.

"So someone start talking." Trina said.

"I'm sorry" Jade started. "I should have thought about your feelings before I posted my threats on the Slap."

"And" Tori said.

"And I should trust you not to fall for crazy user types." Jade said.

Tori smiled. "Don't you have something to say?" Beck asked.

"Yea. Jade, I love you, and I'm sorry I let my frustration get to me. I know you're dealing with things, and they'll be there for the rest of your life. I'm talking more than just what that man did to you... The point is, I knew you were hurt going into this relationship. I didn't mean, I mean, you kept pushing and pushing." Tori was sounding frustrated. Trina put her hand on the singers shoulder, helping calm her down.

"Yea, about that." Jade said. She took a deep breath. 'courage Jade. This is a defining moment.' Jade shifted her focus back to her girlfriend. 'But for how long.' Hesitating a moment more. "Tori...I kinda picked that fight." Jade's voice was quiet, barely above a whisper.

"What? Why?" Tori was getting angry. Trina stopped her.

"Do you remember Beck and Jade? They fought all the time. It's probably like foreplay to her." Trina said.

"Not exactly." Beck chimed in. "You should have trusted her to have that fight later, when it came up naturally." He scolded Jade gently.

"Why?" Tori repeated. She wanted to be angry, but right now anger would get in the way of finding out why, so she held off.

"I needed to know if we'd survive. I sorry, I should have trusted you, but everything was moving so fast and I was worried that once the good times stopped you'd..." Jade trailed off, and she looked down.

"I'd just leave you?" Tori started. Fresh hurt filled her, only to stop. Jade sat there, head down, looking vulnerable and hurt. "Is it always going to be like this?"

"No. Just when you argue. You need to learn how to fight and make up. Jade is always going to go and do things behind you back. It's just with you, she means well." Beck said. "But think of it this way. You two don't have to argue half as much as we did. Just find your own balance."

"How many relationship books did you read?" Jade asked the actor.

"I hurt you, didn't I. And you let me. I can't have that happen." Tori started.

"I just wanted the argument over before I said something I'd regret." Jade replied.

"Like?' Tori said, her voice getting low.

"Really?" Trina cut in. "She doesn't know. Or maybe she does. The point is, anger isn't honesty, its war. Things you might not really feel become the weapons you chose. Things frustrate you, but that doesn't make them how you really feel. The purpose of words in a fight is to hurt, and any truths that come out are often shaped as weapons." Tori had to agree. Jade's admission of being raped was one of the last nails in her and Becks relationship. "Now, talk it out or don't. And Tori, if this argument does break you up, then Jade was right to start it. Neither of you need to be in a relationship that can't survive your first big fight."

Beck and Trina reluctantly got up and headed out to the living room. Sheldon was playing an on line game. "So are they still a couple?" he asked.

"Maybe, probably." Beck replied.

"Damn." Sheldon said.

"You don't like my sister?" Trina asked.

"She's fine. I just don't need them doing the, as Howard would say, 'Horizontal Tango' all the time." He replied.

Back in the bedroom, Tori moved to be sitting on the bed next to Jade, legs over the comforter. "So." she said.

"So." the goth replied.

"I guess I am sorry. I'm not entirely sure what I said last night. All I know is I love you, and I didn't mean everything I said. I won't promise I didn't mean any of it. You are frustrating, and I would like you to trust me. Just, can we get past it. Crazy roommate is right, we should be making uncomfortably loud sex noises right now." Tori thought she was making a joke.

"Yea, about that. I love you, and the sex has been grate. Not complaining about the sex. It's just, is that what you want from me?" Jade asked nervously.

"No. I want everything. I want the gank that's overprotective and threatens a whole school just to make sure I don't get hit on by any more bad boys. I want to be there when you're play opens, and your first movie. I want to be the one you cry to when things get that bad. I want..." A kiss stopped her.

Breaking the kiss, Jade replied. "I get it. Thank you. All I want is to be there for you as well."

Tori embraced Jade, only to roll the physicist on top of herself. They lie there for several second, until Tori spoke. "This is our relationship. Not including sex, so no comments. Your the 'man', the one who's aggressively making decisions and protecting the family. I'm sort of the bottom, the support for the whole thing. We're equals, I suppose, but I like this. I like that you can be both the protector who makes me feel safe and the soft girl I like to caress."

"You make me feel safe too. It's hard for me to be vulnerable, and you make it easy." Jade replied. Tori smiled at the comment and moved to kiss her, but she pulled back. "Okay, spill, what's been bothering you?"

"I thought we'd covered that." Tori said, just a little frustrated. Jade was running hot and cold, and this was to Tori a time to get frisky.

"I mean besides me. What's been bugging you." Jade asked. Tori realized it was time for an act of trust.

"Gary." Tori confessed. "My mom's flirting with my dad's ex partner. They may be having an affair. It's worrying me."

Jade smiled. "Do you want to talk about it? Or do you want me to be the man and find out whats really happening?" Jade asked.

"Both." Tori said.

"Okay, I'll ask. But right now, what do you want to do? And remember that Beck and Trina are still in the living room with Sheldon." Jade said, rolling off her girlfriend.

"I guess you're right. Too bad we have to wait. Your breasts look so soft and suckable." Tori said in a soft, sultry voice. Jade froze. Tori was caressing herself just shy of provocatively as she got up and walked to the door, talking all the time. "But we really need to be good hosts. Maybe we could do a family thing, hang out with Bernadette and her husband, maybe spend time as couples. It'll help us grow closer."

"You're evil." Jade half moaned.

"It's okay. If your nice, I'll let you play later." Tori said. "Lover." That last word was said with as much sex appeal as Tori could squeeze into it.

"I need to take a quick shower." Jade said as she gathered up the clothes she'd need for the evening. 'A cold shower.'

"Too bad it has to be quick. I like washing your..." Tori sucked the tip of her finger for just a second before starting towards the living room. Jade stopped her in the hallway outside the door, pulling Tori in for a kiss. "You're showering alone. I don't need my sister hearing us." Tori said, playfully slapping Jades arm before stepping back to allow Jade access to the bathroom.

"Why did I ever doubt the Vega seduction. It's a good thing Trina can't do that." Jade said while carrying her stuff into the bathroom

"Who said she can't" Tori said, then she started towards to the living room, pulling out her phone. Tori would make the calls that would arrange their evening together.

'What am I getting myself into.' Jade thought as she closed the door and began stripping. The water cleansed her body, but not her mind. "Oh my GOD!" She said. 'Trina can do THAT! I should warn...Nnnaaahhh, he'll thank me later.'

:}

I'm not crazy about the argument. I just don't feel it. Still, it was kicking my ass so here it is.

Any thoughts, comments, etc are welcome. Reviews are read, and appreciated.

I only have a little left in this story. It's coming to an end.


	27. Chapter 27: Summers end

Disclamer: I still don't own anything. Geez. You'd think writing about something would count, but nooo, it's there stuff and I only get to borrow it. Seriously, though, the characters of Victorious and The Big Bang theory belong to their creators and producers, while anything I did to them will wash off with just a little soap.

:}

Jade final week before the start of her senior year was hectic as always. She had planned to talk to Holly, but it was going to have to wait until later since her commitments were taking up so much of her time. Sunday night, Jade and Tori visited Howard and Bernadette. Trina and Beck came along, as did Raj and Stuart. The topics of conversation included Lucy, Stuarts business and when Tori would start recording her first album. Howard only mentioned going into space six times, and Beck was the perfect listener. He and Stuart talked art, only for him to mention that Jade was a bit of an artist. Fear of a slow, painful death right when his store was starting to make a decent profit, kept that off the list of topics Stuart discussed. It was a pleasant evening.

Trina and Beck were taking it slow. Both wanted to give themselves a chance to solidify their feelings before getting physical. When asked about why it was so different than Jade's situation, Trina just said "We already know the sex will work." Jade hated that statement, but had to agree that she'd had her doubts. Jade suspected Beck would thank her, or cure her, when he figured out how seductive the Vega family could be. Putting the whole thing out of her head, Jade went home to find Sheldon and Amy sitting on the couch not doing anything. Frustrated as is, Jade decided to 'ignored all this non-sex' and went to bed. Sheldon didn't ask why she was chuckling.

Monday brought the end of her first lecture series. She was surprised when she realized she was going to miss it. She couldn't continue through the second half of the summer schedule because her school started six weeks earlier and she had her classes to take. Sheldon was one of the few people in the department who didn't need the lectures to help stay current, and he was also one of the biggest critics when she began the six week series. He didn't attend most of them, and naturally lambasted the school for not continuing it until the spring. Jade didn't get him sometimes.

Tuesday came, and so did the beginning of her review for the entire quarter. Jade talked fast to begin with, and she broke records with the initial review. Kevin suggested that instead she go over the weak points from the two tests. "What do you think I've been doing." she replied. "They're weak on everything." Rather than put up with the whining, she agreed to run Wednesday as a study hall with her and Kevin answering questions, and to her astonishment they requested the final for Thursday. They wanted a party on Friday, and Jade agreed to go over the final that day instead.

Jade therapy session was a review of her first fight with Tori as a couple, as well as letting her father know about the rape. Towards the end of the session, she agreed to move their sessions to Mondays at five PM, the last session of the day for her therapist. Jade would be relying on these sessions for the next few months. She didn't mind any more. It was obvious she was growing as a person, so she was happy to continue. Besides, the insanity rates among theoretical physicists was scary, and this was a preemptive grab at reality.

After her office hours, Jade was in for a happy surprise. She had taken Sheldon to the Cheesecake Factory for their weekly dinner, only to see Andre, Trina, Sinjin, Beck, Robbie and Tori at another table. She thought about asking what they were up to, but didn't get a chance when Tori walked over and let her know they were having something to eat before dropping Tori off at Jades temporary place. Tori was going to spend the rest of the week, until church Sunday, with Jade. She had asked to speak with Sheldon, to make sure he was okay with it, and in that action she won his approval. Tori didn't have to, but in Sheldon's mind she did, and so by securing his blessing on the arrangement, she stroked his ego and made it easier. 'Her years with Trina are paying off.' Jade thought.

Wednesday was different. Jade taught her last real day of class, preparing them for the final she had written just the night before. Technically there was a standardized final, but Jade had to make a couple of adjustments. It was far too easy for her students. She'd finished her version in less than an hour, and they would have over Two hours. Still, by the time she finished lunch with the guys, she was anxious to get back to the apartment and Tori. They hadn't been intimate since Friday, and she felt the need for some loving. While she wasn't sure how Tori would react, she was happy when her lover took her to the bedroom to help celebrate one day closer to the new school year. Tori then let her know her planned recording schedule for her fist album and Jade mourned their lost time together. They'd have plenty of time to themselves, but now Jade wanted every second. 'I guess I am selfish. But in a good way.'

Thursday morning was hard for Jade. She managed to untangle herself from Tori, take her shower and be ready in time to take Sheldon to work. From there, she drank her coffee as she walked towards her class and the impending final. Doctor Gablehauser was waiting.

"Good morning Doctor West." He said.

"Good morning Doctor Gablehauser. What brings the head of the physics department here this fine morning?" She asked, suspecting something was wrong.

"Just protecting my department. Kevin, you TA, alerted me to the changes you made to our standardized final. I've had him run the correct one. I know it's hard for you, Sheldon or many of the fine professionals we have in this department to grasp this, but for most of our students, this isn't easy. I doubt I could have finished your final in the time allotted." He said, reminding her that she is a gifted freak of nature, but that was the nature of the entire faculty at Caltech, except maybe Doctor Gablehauser himself. They were well paid because they were expected to be the best.

"So I have to give the original test. Won't they be able to look up the answers?" She asked.

"No, we have a different version used every quarter. Now, if you're ready, I believe your class is waiting for the final. Kevin has the right version." He said, then stepped out of her way and let her enter her class.

The rest of the morning was quiet. Jade spent the first hour of the final sending her death glare at Kevin. 'Lazy ass. He only told on me because he doesn't want to work hard grading the final. I wasn't going to make him. I had Raj all buttered up to help me this afternoon, and I think I can borrow Alex from Sheldon.' She had a grading party planned, in her office, for after the final.

Jade was shocked when several students didn't finish all ten questions by the end of class. On her way to lunch, she talked to her TA trying to understand how they didn't finish. He just let her vent.

Initially Jades office hours were spent with Kevin, Raj, Alex Jensen, Barry Kripke, and Tori as they all (except Tori) graded tests. Tori was at the computer entering scores as she got them. Between the group, it took only a couple of hours to check the math and grade all forty papers. Jade had to admit, she was having fun. The group talked about whatever as they graded, and Raj was either past his problems enough of just a little drunk, because he talked along with everyone else. They discussed whatever topic seemed to flow, including Barry's fighting robot, Raj's love life, Tori's impending recording sessions and Jade's play. Jade was sad when it was over and she had to spend the last hour of her office hours just doodling. Before he left, Doctor Kripke informed Jade that he was publishing his latest findings, and Jade was included as a contributing researcher. After that, she had to (regretfully) remind Tori that her office walls were not soundproof and they would have fun later.

After dropping Sheldon off at the apartment, Jade and Tori made the drive back to the Vega residence. They had missed their intended day to talk to Holly, and so had decided to ask tonight so as to not spoil their weekend. Whatever happened, Jade wanted to have a few days to make Tori feel better.

Once they got into the house, they found Beck and Trina sitting with Holly. It felt like they were interrupting, until the Vega matriarch invited them to sit down. The group of teens sat, nervously looking around. Every time someone tried to start, Holly would ask them to wait "Just a few more minutes."

David Vega arrived home about twenty minutes after Jade and Tori. He was immediately invited to sit on the couch near Holly.

"I'm kind of surprised to have all of you here at once, but it was something we were going to need to discuss sooner or later." Holly Vega started. "Let me start by saying I love you David and I never cheated on you. However, that can be argued based on your definition of cheating." The room was silent. David shifted to sitting on a chair, and Jade shifted to another chair to let Tori sit next to Trina who was next to Beck. Holly had the second couch all to herself.

"And how do you define cheating?" Tori asked. "I know you've been texting Gary. Who knows how much more you've done."

"No, that's about it. We did meet up for coffee a couple of times, but it was just talking and flirting. Beyond that, it was texting." Holly said.

"Why?" Trina asked. Beck, like Jade, decided to stay quiet and let this family drama play out.

"I got lonely. You father, you David, were gone so much on business. How many business trips does a police officer make. But now, I know about the new program and the promotion, and it makes sense. But at the time, I was lonely, trying to raise two very independent daughters. As I felt less needed I looked to find someone else who could need me."

"And you found Gary?" Tori asked.

"Losing a partner can be as bad as any breakup. Gary was being left behind too. And like me, he was only marginally aware of what David was doing. On top of that, He's going through a messy divorce of his own. He had a lot of abandonment issues." Holly Explained. "It started out just the two of us supporting each other over Davids long absences. Over time it matured into some flirting. But that was it. I would never take it farther, and neither would Gary. We both wanted to avoid hurting you, David. So we kept it as platonic as possible."

"So what happened?" Trina asked, while holding Becks hand. Becks experience with Jade showed, as he braced himself for the expected crushing of his fingers.

"To my shame, I was far more into it than I should have been. It was nice flirting again. Then six weeks ago the texts started getting romantic, and I didn't know what to do. Gary's a good guy, and I missed being romanced, but I still love you David. So once I heard about the promotion, I decided to end the flirting." Holly looked conflicted as she spoke. "Just to be clear, I ended it because I thought I'd be getting my husband, my lover back. But I'm still getting romantic texts. I'm not sure how to handle this. I asked David to come home so we could discuss this, and then the whole family decided to confront me about it."

"Gary hasn't sent you a text in six weeks." David said, startling everyone. "He realized the line he was crossing, and talked to me about it one day about six or so weeks ago. It was a hard thing to go through. He admitted what he was doing was wrong, but told me I was ignoring a fine woman. He also told me he was partially drawn in because of the drama going on in his lingering and painful divorce. He'd been using a burner phone to avoid his wife finding out about it, since she didn't need any more ammo for their divorce, and as an act of trust he gave it to me." Turning to his kids. "I know it was wrong, but the texts seemed to make you mother so happy. It was the only thing I could do some days while I was getting the new squad going. I kept telling myself that once I had the time, I would explain everything to Holly and we'd talk it out. That's why I ignored her attempt to end it, and what I was going to talk to her about today."

"This isn't over, you know. One talk doesn't fix everything." Beck said. "A lot of trust has been lost here, on both ends. I think you two might think about seeing a counselor, see if you can fix the marriage. It sounds like you both want to. We'll support you in whatever decision you make."

"How many relationship books did he read?" Tori asked Jade.

"Lots. He said they got him through out breakup." she replied.

"Well, I guess we know what Beck will do if this acting thing doesn't work out." Tori said.

"About that. I'm going to pursue a career in comedy while studying social work. If I'm not on stage, I'd like to work with the police and the courts to help at risk kids." Trina said.

"Great choice, Trina. Now you've only got one and a half changes to your major to be an average student." Jade said. The Vega family didn't get it.

Still everyone seemed happy with her decision. Trina was good with people as long as she kept her ego out of it, so that kind of work was a natural fit. The courts used social workers to help at risk youth, or she could become a probation officer for teens. There were a lot of possibilities. They discussed Trina's options, then addressed Tori's. They decided that Tori should see if she could do general education from a community college on line while pursuing her singing career. That way, she could transfer to a four year institute with minimal effort later if music didn't work out. Jade was planning on a double major in Film and acting, but would probably be done in two years because she already had her degree. Everyone seemed happy about the future.

David reminded them that Trina was starting College, and that Tori and Jade still had to finish High School. Jade admitted she'd played the system. Many of her college classes could be taken for both High School and College credit, so her English, math and science requirements were finished. She just needed units to graduate, and so most of her schedule was electives and acting/singing/film making.

Later that evening, as Jade and Tori were getting ready for bed, Tori started getting nervous. 'One more talk, I guess.' Jade thought. "Okay Vega, spill." She asked.

"School is about to start, and I'm concerned about us." Tori said, her voice quiet.

"What about us?" Jade asked.

"Do you even need me? I mean, all summer long you were dealing with all these changes to you life and nurse Tori was helping her wounded warrior heal. Now that your going to be back in familiar territory, I wonder do you need me?" Tori said, her voice tinged with worry.

"No." Jade replied. Tori's heart sank. "I want you. Big difference. If I needed you for whatever reason, then when the reason changed, I could let you go. I love you, and I want you. I'll live if you leave me, but I won't be happy. I'd rather be the best Jade I can be so that I can be there for you when you need me. All I ask is that you be the best Tori you can be for me when I do need you." Jade said. Tori was comforted and confused at the same time.

"I-I think there's more." Tori said. "So...your turn first. Whats still bugging you?" she asked.

"How quickly all this happened." Jade replied. She'd been ready for this conversation since Tuesday. "I didn't let Beck so much as grope me until we'd been together almost two months. Sex was off the table for almost a year. Yet here we are, barely a month into our relationship, and we're practically living together. This is beyond fast. This is tachyon speeds."

"Okay. Don't get the Star Wars reference, but I see your point. Thing is, according to Trina, we'd been dating about a year on and off before we got together, so if anything we took our time." Tori said smiling.

"So I'm a cheater now?" Jade asked, half amused.

"No, you and Beck were on and off, so lets just say we dated during the off times." Tori said.

"Okay, I'll let that one slide. So your turn. What else is bugging you." Jade asked.

"Sex. I mean, I love it, and I love that it's you I want to sex up, but I'm afraid that's all I bring to the relationship." Tori started.

Jade sighed. "That was my next one too. I love you, but I feel you've been using sex as your weapon of choice when we're together. Vega, Tori, you don't need to use sex to get what you need. You're an accomplished actress and singer who's career is taking off. You're better than that."

"But you're coming back to who you were, or who you usually are. It's more than need. You so strong, and I'm afraid the only power I have in this relationship is seduction." Tori was sounding sad.

"That's not true. I have no idea how to be in a healthy relationship. Beck tried, but we were together based on conflict and struggling for control. You're parents were much better role models. You're the heart of this couple. The heart of us. My strength come with a lot of indifference to the things I don't love. You help me to be a better person." Jade said while holding Tori's hand.

"And now you're going to regret saying such nice things." Tori replied.

"Why?" Jade looked skeptical.

"You're going to miss having the strength to walk tomorrow." Tori said with a sly smile.

Friday was a blur of celebrations. Her class sat and listened to Jade explain the final, going over each question and showing them how to find the answers. This was accompanied by sodas and chips. Jade found herself taking nearly the whole class as well as three refills of the soda. Lunch was also a celebration. Doctor Kripke had officially announced he was publishing his work and everyone but Sheldon was congratulating Jade on her contribution. Raj and Howard were both happy for her, and Lenard let her know how happy he was for her over Skype. He also had her run a quick simulation.

Tori welcomed her back with a back rub, and let things go from there. Later, as the two were finding their clothes, Tori addressed Jade.

"Can we spend tomorrow together and not do it? I mean, until we're ready for bed. Just spend the day together without sex?" The singer asked.

"Sure." Jade replied. 'Not sure where this is coming from, but it can't be good.' Jade thought. "How about we hit Disneyland."

"I was thinking we hit the beach." Tori replied.

"So you want us all undressed and sexy, but no sex?" Jade asked.

"Yep." Tori replied.

"They say I'm evil." Jade looked at her girlfriend.

Saturday they spent at the beach, having a great time while visiting with friends. The whole gang dropped by, including Trina. Sinjin and Burf showed up as well. Since they had their entourage on, they were doing a great job of deflecting the usual girl fest Beck drew. It was a fun last harrah before school started.

Saturday night, after a bonfire and singing, they finally made their way back to Pasadena and Lenard's bed. No longer under the no sex rule, Jade and Tori made love, luxuriating in the touch of each others skin and in the slow pleasures they shares with each other. When Jade dropped Tori off at church, she was certain, the singer was probably going to be her wife within the next five years. After dropping Tori off, Jade made her way back to her mothers house and spent some time with Billy. They played video games and talked about what he was going to be doing in school this year.

Monday came, and Jade walked into Hollywood Arts like the queen of the school. So much had changed over the summer, and yet she had regained her balance and was once more on track. The gang greeted her, all happy to be back in school. Hollywood Arts is like that. Students see the summer as a break, but are anxious to return to the lessons that could prepare them for a life on stage. Jade was home. She kissed Tori, both to show her affection and to remind everyone that the Latina was taken. And headed to Sikowitz. They were seniors, and so they were the power running the school. It felt good to be back.

:}

So this is the end. The story has covered what I wanted to cover, and now they are seniors who's lives are stable. If this were a sitcom, we'd have had less drama, but we'd just keep going. Watch for an epilogue, coming soonish.

Reviews are welcome. Please, no more nude pictures of Dick Cheney. I never asked for them, and frankly, they give me nightmares.

The preceding was a bad joke. No actual pictures of any naked former vice presidents have been PM'd to this writer. It was only a joke.


	28. Chapter 28: Epilogue

Still don't own anything.

:}

It was nearing the end of September and Jade was sitting in Lenard's apartment, getting ready for the welcome back party. He was due back soon, and while he would be exhausted, a little get together was in order. Jade had agreed to help with the setup since she was living there part time until Lenard walked through the door. She walked the apartment, making sure everything was ready, and everything of hers was gone. It nearly led to Sheldon's death.

Jade had been checking Lenard's room one more time, just to make sure she hadn't left anything. She had, on more than one occasion, thought to leave a pair of undies for Penny to find. Tori talked her out of that. As Jade checked things over, she noticed the bedspread was normal. Not one of the movie memorabilia quilts or blankets that had lived on the bed for the last two months. The sheets were also normal.

"Sheldon. Did you or Penny buy new sheets?" she asked.

"No, those are Lenards. I figured he wouldn't want the fun bed sets, since he never uses them anymore, so I put them back in storage and pulled out the boring stuff he'd been using before he left." Sheldon replied, unaware how quickly Tori had acted to prevent the re-creation of a scene from "The Scissoring 2". All summer Jade had slept on the sheets Sheldon wanted her on.

Jade wasn't upset beyond the choices of bed sets she had endured. Her research was on track, the department still loved her and used her talents well, classes were going well and she got the lead in a play. Of course, Tori didn't audition. Tori's album was taking her time, so she wouldn't have been able to make rehearsal. But Tori supported Jade all the way, and Jade supported Tori's singing. Mason, however, wanted Jade to sing on Tori's album, both some backup and a duet. He felt she owed him. They'd agreed on a price.

Jade's play had just opened, and was getting good reviews. The producer planed to move it to a bigger stage in a month. Cat, Beck, Meredith, and Robbie all had rolls, as well as a few others who Jade didn't know personally. Penny, as predicted, didn't get a roll. She was upset, and only the reality of just how dangerous Jade could be kept her from constantly complaining.

Sinjin was now a paid intern at Caltech, as well as his duties setting up the technical stuff for the plays at Hollywood Arts. He was at the party with his girlfriend. He'd picked up a Northridge girl, and Jade felt it was a good starter relationship for him. 'First he gets himself a hot girl, then a hot girl who can read.' she thought. He and Burf seemed happy. Trina was happy, but as often happens college was kicking her ass. She'd quickly get the hang of it, Jade knew that much.

Trina was good at making time for Beck. To no one's surprise, this was her first serious relationship, and she was determined not to mess it up. Trina and beck still hadn't been intimate, but they were getting closer every day. They spent as much time as they could together, and Beck had also made a few changes. He made a much bigger effort to talk to Trina than he ever made with Jade. His laid back attitude had caused him to just let a lot of things work themselves out, so he often added to Jades jealousy, her sense of him not being there, and to her frustration. Not that Jade needed much help, but now Beck made a point to hear everything Trina was trying to tell him.

The improved communication took the place of the power games that had been the center of his relationship with Jade. He was at the point where he could see that constantly flirting with other girls, or just letting them flirt with him, was going to cause insecurity in his girlfriend. He listened, and expressed himself, and so while he and Trina fought, they were growing closer through the trials and tribulations. Beck and Trina were looking more and more like the couple that would last. Beck had, however, recently found something that concerned him. He'd overheard Jade telling Penny how helpless she was before the "Vega Seduction", and asked what that was. Now he was worried that Trina could play him like a drum. Tori had assured him that yes, Trina could and "who do you think taught me." Beck was looking forward to just how far Trina could push him, but scared that she'd be able to get him to do anything she wanted. Jade told him that when they get to that point, he'd want to do whatever she wanted him to. Jade was actually enjoying Beck's loss of control over his life. It made him more human. Between that and his being a great communicator, a whole new class of women were determined to supplant Trina. The Latina loved it.

The new quarter and academic year had started at Caltech, and almost predictably Jade was already being hit on. More than one guy saw her and approached. Some were nervous, Others bold, but she shot them down as nicely as possible. Only the stubborn ones lasted long enough to hear how she was addressed on campus. Usually it was Dave the Coffee Kiosk guy, but sometimes is was someone else. As soon as she was called "Doctor West." there would be questions, and she would then fall back to the excuse that faculty cannot fraternize with the students. Jade had also noticed how the name Dave, or permutations of it, seemed to bring good things into her life. Mrs. Davis at Human Resources helped her when needed, and Dave was her source for fresh coffee when she was heading to or from her car. Then there was David Vega, who she felt was like a second father. 'Could be.'

Jade was still seeing her therapist. Sometimes she would feel fine and usually things didn't get to her, but the damage was deep, and she would sometimes have things trigger her. Therapy kept her going on those dark days, and she was growing through the pain. She knew it would be years before the even was just a painful memory, if ever. So when things triggered her she toughed her way through until her appointment, and then let herself be vulnerable and cry or whatever she needed to do to get through it. Jade was learning the only way to deal with the emotions linked to her past damage was through them, and that was easiest with the help of a trained professional.

She had also invited her mother and father to attend a session each to discuss her past. She needed closure on more than one incident, but in the case of her mother she let the environment help with the elephant in the room. Her mother predictably cried and blamed her father. Jade made a point of repeating that only one person was to blame, the man who raped her. That session was full of anger and tears, and for once Jade sat quietly and watched her mother go through those emotions. It was a step. Her session with her father had it's own emotions, and was easier because they had already started the healing process.

Jade still had her hand in teaching. She had taken the school self defense class, and was now one of it's instructors. She also was back taking classes for Krav Maga, mostly just practice but learning some new stuff as she became one of the instructors at her Dojo. It was only a couple of hours per week, and it made Jade feel like she was helping prevent future victims. She knew it wasn't foolproof, but it would help.

David had approached her about a Martial arts program for at risk youth, but she was doing too much as is. They decided to ask some of the other instructors she knew. David's marriage was still a little rocky, but the were seeing a marriage counselor and things were getting better. Gary was finally divorced, and trying that swinging bachelor thing. His work with troubled teens brought him into contact with a lot of troubled moms, and he was barely keeping the his personal and professional lives separate.

Andre was singing part time at a restaurant, making three time as much (plus tips) as he was selling yogurt. He was saving money up for his Demo Album. Tori was also using him as a song writing collaborator for her album, so he was getting his name out there.

Sheldon was getting closer to publishing his current work, and seemed determined to catch up to Doctor Kripke in terms of how advanced his research was. Sheldon's plan to find the other researcher a distraction had worked, to a point. Taking advantage of Jades misguided attempts to help Raj, he'd managed to find a Northridge girl interested in Barry's secure income and a relationship had formed. The failure of the plan was because the young woman, raised on the hard facts of life, was pushing her new boyfriend to succeed. Someone explained to her what tenyer was, and she was determined that any nerd she was with for security would have security. Northridge girls, despite Jades statements otherwise, were not necessarily stupid, just shallow and sometimes devious. Barry was now more motivated than ever to advance his research and thus succeed.

Sheldon's social life was also slowly moving towards what Jade would call a more fulfilling lifestyle. Still obsessed with his research, his gaming and comic books, his relationship with Amy was still in neutral. However, he was slowly coming to realize he needed people. His life was filled with an ever expanding circle of friends, and from Jade he had finally found an almost equal he could respect without feeling threatened. Jades research in Quantum Dynamics was already doomed. She was interested in learning what we could from that line before moving to more promising lines of research. Her results were helping move the field along, but since Jade identity wasn't totally invested in her research, she could do the theoretical work that would only help others when done.

Lenard's trip was a partial success. The experiments had brought a lot of information and understanding to the field, but there were still massive holes that they were trying to figure out. Lenard noted that they should have drafted Jade, since so much of what they were doing was based on mathematics. Jade just shook her head. Lenard was going back to where he belonged, in his lab, playing with his lasers. Jade knew he was just putting in time before his work would be recognized for the wonder it was.

Raj was still looking for the girl of his dream. Jade and Penny both agreed that now that he could talk to women, he needed to learn how to talk to women. He'd driven off every arranged date Jade had set up for him, including the ones from Northridge, and Penny had laughed at the goth physicists frustration. Penny had tried before, and failed. Raj was still a dear friend, but the women in his life were debating on if they should give up on him or keep trying to help him find someone. Jade just wanted to sew his lips shut, but Tori veto's that plan.

Stuart continued living with Raj, something Jade didn't know before, and his store started making more money. It wasn't enough to go out and buy a mansion, but it was enough to hire someone and take more time off. Stuart's life was slowly getting better. Jade still pitied him, but accepted his place in the group and was happy he's no longer living in his store. She would not visit, however, once she found out Burf was working there. He wanted the employe discount.

Jade's relationship with Tori had continued to grow closer. They had a few real nasty fights, but managed to patch things up afterwords. Jade had come to accept that Tori wasn't going to leave her. They were no longer functionally living together, but both knew that was a temporary condition. Once they had enough money saved, either from Jade's plays or Tori's music career, they planned to get a house together. Jade's dad's boss had agreed to help them, thought the price range they'd be looking at was well above the usual distressed properties he specialized in. Tori was now moving their relationship into a new plateau where they could have their own lives but still be a couple. The relationship was a bizarre mix of first year lust and long term comfort. Jade often wondered if she'd make five years before Tori tightened the knot and they wound up married. They had all the earmarks of a successful long term married couple. Just time would tell if that was what happened.

The others lives continued, close to what they were before. Jade's friends seemed to have a talent for getting into and out of strange predicaments and situations. Jade wondered if it was her. It didn't matter, she's adjusted to the new world, straddling the high school and adult worlds while holding onto her dreams. Old wounds were healing, and A new relationship was blossoming into something she felt she could count on. Most importantly, while she had the full support of both groups of friends, Jade had seen just how strong and capable she was on her own. Soon it would be October, and she was doing great.

So why was she dreading Christmas?

:}

Thank you to everyone who's reviewed, followed, favorited, read, or accidentally opened this story. For my first fan fiction, it was fun to write, even when it had a mind of it's own. Not sure what else to say, I've done everything I intended to with the story. And after 86,000 plus words, I'm still impressed I got that much out.

Again, thank you to everyone who's read or looked at this story. You're reviews gave me the motivation to keep writing and to finish this.


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